If you think that your way of communicating is unique, you are most likely wrong. It turns out that there are only four communication styles. By learning more about this, you will see the causes of misunderstanding and conflicts with loved ones, and you will be able to change your relationship with others.
Any interaction with others is a form of communication. But communication methods can vary greatly from person to person. “Specialists identify 4 main styles of communication. Problems between people are often related to the fact that we are used to using an unfavorable communication style,” says Monica Ramunda, a counseling psychologist.
What are the styles of communication? Which one is yours?
Passive style
Such people are very reluctant to share their experiences and opinions, rarely defend their interests. It can be difficult for them not only to get what they want in the process of communication, but also to give the interlocutor what he needs.
A person with a passive communication style often tries to speak as softly as possible, constantly apologizing or making excuses. Often stoops during a conversation, avoids making eye contact. From him you can often hear phrases like “I don’t care. Choose how it will be convenient for you “or” The main thing for me is that everything be quiet and peaceful.
“Of course, conflicts are undesirable, but this does not mean that one should refuse to protect one’s rights and interests. It is always worth considering the opinions of others, but it is not always worth giving in to them. We often have the opportunity to discuss the situation and find an option that suits everyone,” explains Monica Ramunda.
Aggressive style
An aggressive style of communication is immediately noticeable – both in speech and in behavior. Such people often talk loudly, tend to insist on getting their own way, while they are little interested in the interests and preferences of others. They constantly look into the eyes of the interlocutor, as if trying to subdue him to their will or scare him. Often they use phrases like “Always all the problems because of you!” or “I’m always right!”
Passive-aggressive style
Such a person may appear passive from the outside, but inside often hides aggression. He often feels his impotence, helplessness and weakness. As a result, there is resentment and anger towards others, sometimes reaching outright hatred. But these emotions do not manifest themselves clearly.
“At first glance, a passive-aggressive person may seem non-confrontational and compliant. He avoids open confrontation and is more often prone to silent discontent. For example, in person he can tell you how good your idea is, and then, already without you, he will complain that your proposal is complete nonsense, ”explains Monica Ramunda.
Another example of passive-aggressive criticism is: “I like your idea, but others may not agree with it.” By “others” the interlocutor actually means himself.
Confident (assertive) style
A confident communication style is much more effective than all others. People who are characterized by it are able to openly and honestly share their thoughts, opinions, ideas and experiences with others. If they are unhappy or disagree with something, then they are able to express it without any problems. At the same time, they always consider the opinions and feelings of other people. And they prefer not to “burn bridges” and leave communication channels open. They are as good at listening as they are at speaking. At the same time, they do not try to suppress the will of the interlocutor or dominate him.
People with this communication style are more likely to speak in the first person, using the pronouns “I” or “Me”. The motto of a self-confident person: “I make decisions myself and bear responsibility for them.” He respects the feelings and opinions of others and does not try to impose his position as the only correct one.
“If you want to communicate in a confident style, try to speak in the first person more often, using the words “I”, “mine”, “me” and so on. Take responsibility for your words and for your strengths and weaknesses. Try to look the interlocutor in the eye, while not trying to suppress him with a look. Speak in a calm and confident tone. And remember that you always have the right to say “no” and this is completely normal,” stresses Monica Ramunda.
Having noticed in ourselves a tendency to one style or another, we will be able to adjust the manner of communication and thereby achieve greater success in communication – both with family members and with colleagues or even unfamiliar people.