The weight loss consultant told us what actually prevents us from losing weight.
According to Olesya Galkevich, a weight loss consultant, coach, psychologist and author of the “Slimness – Forever” project, the only reason for excess weight is overeating. It, in turn, depends on a number of reasons, ranging from ignorance of the rate of calories and ending with psychological problems.
Wday.ru and the publishing house “BOMBORA” have prepared a fascinating excerpt from the book “Cockroaches in your head and overweight: find out the real reasons why you cannot lose weight” about the typical psychological causes of overweight.
Let’s take another look at the main psychological causes of being overweight. Some of them will seem familiar to you, others will surprise you. And some will respond in their souls with special pain, a strong reaction. Mark these reasons.
Being overweight can be beneficial as proof of social status person. Remember, most bosses and leaders are fat, big. Banal stereotypes: “who is more, who is stronger, he is right.”
Excess weight may be protection against chronic fatigue… It’s hard for you, constant stress. As they say, I got into some kind of life situation, from which you will get out for a long time.
We either do not know how to say “no”, or it is inappropriate for some reason. And instead of saying “no,” it’s easier to seem weak, powerless, so that everyone would fall behind in principle.
With the help of excess weight, a person can reduce your physical attractivenessbecause he is afraid to draw attention to himself. This can relate to both attractiveness to the opposite sex, and in general, a person can reduce his “bright appearance”, for example. Doesn’t want to stand out.
An overweight wife can To “defend” against a jealous spouse.
If the husband’s jealousy is completely exhausted, then it is easier to get fat and thus stop all problems and scandals: well, who can want or flirt with someone like me? Ruled out!
Family myths and beliefs can help maintain excess weight. Classics of the genre, when many in the family are overweight.
Family scenarios when you are not very separated (separated) from your parents and try (if one of them is overweight) in this way to be “with them”… Often in family history of being overweight, there is a so-called fusion of children with one or both parents. And life is not sweet for such a child: he wants to separate and live his own independent and full life, but he cannot – the connection with the parents, with the parental system is so strong.
Being overweight is often an expression accumulated, but not lived feelings and emotions that we carry with us… These are sad events, and a series of some failures, and a chronic feeling of failure, unfulfillment. Or systematic strong feelings about something that we do not allow ourselves to bring out at all.
Non-verbal or even direct verbal food attitudesthat we have taken away from childhood or acquired with our life experience. Typically: “The plate must be clean”, “You must not throw away food”, “Bread must not be thrown away at all.”
Being overweight can literally help a person restrain yourself in lifewhen a person really wants to do something, but is very afraid of it. For some reason, a person has the conviction that it is impossible to stick out, there is no happiness “for nothing”, money is very difficult to get. Easy work is something dubious, frivolous and suspicious.
Excess weight protects us from the danger of this world (if we believe the world is not safe). This is my armor, I cannot be touched or reached through my excess weight.
If we have overweight idol, we unconsciously imitate him in everything, even in appearance.
Sometimes excess weight can be dramatically gained when there have been some changes in life and is sharply activated unconscious attitude about fear of hunger (if you have had cases of hunger in your family).
Excess weight as a sign of your emotional dependence.
If you are inclined to give yourself up as a sacrifice, when a person forgets about himself for the sake of his family, children, when a person has to live not the way he wants. He gradually even forgot how to distinguish his desires from the desires of others.
Self-punishment. In this case, being overweight is a direct path to health problems and approaching death. Plus the constant punishment of yourself when you walk past the mirror.
Life situation injury or shock… Some people in such critical conditions begin to lose their appetite, while others, on the contrary, gain weight.
Being overweight, your body can show you that you are has moved away from the realization of its mission in this world.
Desire “Be good” from childhood (good, obedient children eat what their mother prepares for them, they eat well). In such cases, a person has an understanding that if he is obedient, correct, then after that he will be given (parents in childhood, and now – one of the significant people in a person’s life) a portion of love. Sometimes parents even teach them to receive sweets and sweets for obedience.
The desire to eat sweets can come unconsciously from a habit also instilled in childhood by parents, who themselves out of guilt for not being at home for a long time, or for their inattention to the child “Bought off” him with sweets.
Excess weight as a way attract the attention of parents (by analogy with diseases).
Excess weight as a way attract the attention of a man (husband, boyfriend).
process attract the attention of colleagues at work… I have difficulties, I need to feel sorry for me, and not to add work to me, that’s why everything does not work out for me.
Excess weight like expression of protest… I do not want to obey the framework in which you are trying to shove me!
Excess weight as a way to avoid intimacy.
Option 1… If in the parental family there was aggression on the part of the father towards the mother or herself, if the girl was very worried about this, in adulthood she has a logical question in her soul: “Why do I need a relationship at all, if a man can treat a woman so badly?”
Option 2. Everything is in order in the parental family, but the girl’s past experiences in relationships were unsuccessful.
Option 3… A woman in marriage does not receive spiritual intimacy, she feels herself only an object for satisfying the sexual needs of her husband. She wants him to leave her alone, and with the help of excess weight reduces her attractiveness.
Emotional hungerthat a woman tries to satisfy through food – in fact, a feeling of a lack of love.
She was hungry for life, love, emotions. Needs psychological support. It is not quenched with food.
Excess weight can be a consequence feelings of emptiness in the soulwhich we mistakenly try to fill with food.
Problems (dissatisfaction) in those relationshipsthat are at the moment. Possible messages that a woman wants to convey to her husband with her excess weight: pay attention to me, show your love, see how hard it is for me, how unhappy I am.
Sometimes fat people are happy with life, but dissatisfied with themselves… Hatred and anger are self-directed, this manifests itself in the form of self-destructive behavior, and also reflected in the appearance.
Fear of reality, real life with its problems, tasks. An excellent argument not to leave the “house” of excess weight, not to do responsible things for adults, which should be done by adults, calm, self-confident people.
Depressive moods. Low mood leads to overeating, overeating – to excess weight.
And with a set of pounds and a decrease in activity, depression worsens. Food begins to replace pleasure, excess weight grows faster. A vicious circle that only leads to deterioration if it is not deliberately opened.