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Everyone wants to live a life without regrets, but doing so is not easy. We’ve compiled a list of eight things that people most often regret after 30. Psychologist Yevgeny Barmenkov explains how to minimize these regrets.
It is difficult to predict everything in advance and write instructions “How to live right and never make mistakes.” But you can learn from the experience of others. So, after 30, you will regret if you:
afraid of change
Opportunities rarely come by themselves. You have to take risks, meet new people, change your place of residence. You can’t change your life until you decide to take action.
Refuse to travel
You will not wait for the perfect moment to drop everything and go to distant lands. From the point of view of a career, quitting a job and leaving somewhere makes no sense, but it is important for self-development. If you don’t have children and a husband, go ahead. There will be no better time. Get on the road, travel as much as you can while you can.
To sleep a lot
We love to sleep, but everything is good in moderation. Looking back, you won’t remember the days when you slept 12 hours a night and felt refreshed. Everything will be the opposite. You will remember those days when you did not sleep for days and suddenly broke off on the road.
Working at a job you hate
If you can’t imagine doing this job all your life, it’s not worth it. If it doesn’t bring you closer to your dream job, get rid of it. You won’t regret the job you hated, you’ll regret holding onto it too long.
Get stuck in a meaningless relationship
The same principle applies to people as to work. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Don’t hold on to a relationship just because it’s convenient. You are unlikely to ever say: “I’m glad that I was together for as long as I could.” On the contrary, you will regret the time spent. Get out of the relationship before it completely sucks you in.
Worry about what others think
When we are young, we worry about what others will think. As we grow older, we realize that other people’s thoughts are not worth our experiences.
neglect health
If you want to stay healthy after 30, it is important to take care of this in advance. Everyone knows that you need to eat right, relax on time and exercise, but many put off taking care of themselves until later – there is always something that seems more important. When we become weak and sick, we will regret that we did not start taking care of our bodies earlier.
Spend little time with loved ones
No one is eternal, including our grandparents. You have been going to call them for the second month, but there are more urgent matters all the time. Then you will regret that you did not devote time to loved ones. If you love them, give them a call.
“Drop the rules and get out of your comfort zone”
Psychologist Yevgeny Barmenkov advises how to live life without regrets.
Roger Walsh aptly remarked: “If you climb the ladder of success for happiness, then at the end you are surprised to notice that the ladder was against the wrong wall.” In order for the ladder to stand against that wall, adhere to the following principles:
Drop the “rules”
No one knows 100% what is important in life. Only your personal knowledge and intuition will help you prioritize.
Reveal the main
Much of what we aspire to is imposed by advertising, society and parents. Think about the most important episodes in life. Then imagine what it would be nice to remember at the end of your life. The brightest events from the past and imaginary events from the future are your main reference points.
Prioritize
Use the Eisenhower matrix (pictured below). Organize tasks according to urgency and importance. The most important tasks focused on long-term success are located in the “important and non-urgent” square.
Set your own goals
Who sets your goals? If you’re on your own, then you’re fine. If the goals are dictated to you by others – a reason to think. You’re wasting your time on someone else’s goals, not your own. That is why it is important to be able to say “no”.
Try something new
Until you try, you will not be able to understand in which areas you are really talented. Experimenting with different activities will help you find what works for you.
Get out of your comfort zone
If you feel good, pleasant, everything suits you, this is a sign of degradation. Getting new knowledge, maintaining health and everything that leads to development requires effort, not comfort.
About expert
Evgeny Barmenkov – psychologist, psychotherapist, head of the “Psychologist-Help” center, member of the All-Russian Professional Psychotherapeutic League.