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In recent years, narcissistic personality disorder has been talked about more and more. Not surprisingly, it is believed that this diagnosis can be made in about 5% of the population. “About” because people with narcissistic traits rarely realize that something is wrong with them and seek help. How to understand that your interlocutor is just like that?
People with narcissistic personality disorder are known to have an inflated ego, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an acute need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Behind the mask of self-confidence in their case lies an extremely fragile sense of self-worth, which can suffer from the slightest criticism.
But this is what the narcissist himself feels – and how can we guess about his experiences? How to recognize such a person?
1. He openly admires you, but his words seem fake.
Does it happen that the interlocutor praises you, utters loud words of love and admiration, but for some reason they seem to you a dummy, something memorized and rehearsed? He turns to you with a fiery speech, but his eyes remain empty and cold? Perhaps the whole point is that you have a narcissist in front of you.
It must be understood that narcissists are damn smart, observant and excellent at copying others. They know perfectly well what and when to say, but they don’t feel anything about it. So, if it seems to you that there is nothing behind the words of the interlocutor, perhaps it is.
2. He is too calm in stressful situations.
All of us, even the most calm and balanced, sometimes break down (cry, scream, feel completely powerless) if the situation gets out of control or all circumstances are against us. Everyone, but not narcissists.
Even in the midst of a disaster, they manage to remain composed and maintain the utmost composure, and only if you look closely, you can guess from the implicit signals of the body what it costs them: some grit their teeth, others tap their feet. There is nothing wrong with such a reaction in itself, but it is a sign that your friend may have a narcissistic personality disorder.
3. He answers questions you didn’t ask and gets into unnecessary details.
If a person starts telling you a long story to explain some fact that you may not have even noticed (for example, where did the woman’s hair come from on his work chair), this is an alarm bell. Most likely, he is trying to justify himself, because he is really guilty of something. With such an interlocutor, you should keep your eyes open: it is likely that you are being deceived.
Forewarned is forearmed
Why is it important to know all these signs? Because, as we have already found out, there are a lot of daffodils, and sooner or later such a person will surely meet you on the way. And, if you do not know how to calculate it, how such people behave and what is behind such behavior, it is easy to fall into a trap.
Many mistakenly believe that narcissists are harmless and, at best, deserve our indulgence. But, alas, the image that first comes to mind – a man who endlessly spins in front of a mirror and is infinitely in love with himself – has little to do with reality.
In fact, everything is much worse: the narcissist skillfully manipulates and uses others while he needs them, and then simply throws them out of his life. And the experience of dealing with him can become quite painful.
If you have read this text to the end, most likely there is someone in your environment whom you suspect of narcissism or whose behavior haunts you. Again, if it seems to you, it probably doesn’t seem to you. Perhaps our article will help you confirm your suspicions, take the necessary steps and protect yourself from a narcissist.