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Good afternoon, dear readers. Interested in partnerships? Me too. Having a good experience of dealing with the opposite experience and based on the knowledge of psychology, I want to share some secrets with you.
There are 3 stages of a relationship between a man and a woman. Today we will talk about what happens on each of them.
Stage 1. Search for a partner
The main task, which is arbitrarily solved at this stage, is the search for one’s internal (female or male) reflections in a representative of the opposite sex. Moreover, an optimally corresponding reflection is sought.
Often we compare people we meet in real life with our favorite characters from films or stories from childhood. We kind of “try on” how these or those features correspond to a real person. We continue to get to know people with a high percentage of similarity and build relationships with them. Others we ignore, we pass by them and continue to search further.
Psychology notes that at the first stage, people of different age and social status can come across:
- teenagers;
- married and married;
- divorced.
At this stage, marriages are often concluded and children are born. But all this is inferior in importance to the process of recognition itself. Partners analyze certain psychological aspects of relationships, constantly think whether such a person suits them for life or the search will continue.
Often girls who grew up in single-parent families find guys who are similar in psychological type. They unconsciously recreate the suffering that they had to endure in childhood from their fathers. This is explained by the fact that the need is being realized to recreate situations similar to those experienced and, at least at this age, to defend and prove something to oneself (most often one’s importance, usefulness and correctness).
However, for some, the search phase can continue until the end of life if a person is not inclined to introspection and work on his own mistakes.
Stage 2. Satisfaction of needs
When the search stage is completed, a man or woman is found who has important emotional characteristics for us, it is the turn to satisfy our own needs. And we are talking about both physical and moral aspects.
People can’t talk enough, walk around enough, etc. They really want to tell absolutely everything about themselves, their past and plans for the future, as well as about the expectations from these relationships and life in general. As a rule, the couple spends almost all their free time together.
Very often, people at this stage in the development of relationships cannot sleep and eat, they constantly think about their chosen one or chosen one. At this point, their brain and body are filled with norepinephrine and serotonin. There is an active desire to form an ideal out of a partner, outlined in childhood or adolescence.
The desire to control the personality is a characteristic feature of this stage. Often we begin to see that we have not chosen a partner so well. There is a constant process of control over what is happening, what music to listen to, how to spend leisure time, etc. Enthusiasm gradually fades into the background, giving way to the next stage.
Stage 3. Emotional Attachment
Not everyone reaches this stage. Many cannot complete the process of finding and satisfying needs for many months, or even years. And no advice or hints from acquaintances and relatives will affect their desire to independently complete one stage of the relationship and deliberately move on to the next. When there are no open questions and needs, only then comes the stage of emotional attachment.
As a rule, characteristic of this period is that a person accepts both positive and negative sides of a partner. He ceases to idealize him, thus giving him the opportunity to express his true intentions and desires in different situations. It is at this stage that a person begins to feel an acute desire to have a child. He feels that right now he can provide not only the physical, but also the emotional needs of the baby.
Unfortunately, often children appear at the stage of search and satisfaction of needs. And when one of them did not end in success and the couple broke up, the children remain hostages of the situation. After all, it is they who are deprived of such important moments as the constant presence and healthy communication with both parents.
A characteristic desire for this period is also the construction of a common life. Fighting between partners is normal in a relationship. This is due to the fact that many important decisions are constantly being made, on which everyone has their own opinion. Couples learn to yield to each other, to see the main and the secondary.
Sometimes these kinds of confrontations come to a standstill. Often the unwillingness to give in takes over, resentment and aggression accumulate. Many couples make the decision to leave without overcoming their differences in the name of this union. And the desire to maintain a loving relationship fades into the background.
Love
It is worth noting that parting often occurs due to the active work on the relationship of only one partner. The other at this moment decides that there is no need to analyze his own actions and change, and the reason for the disagreement is the inconsistency of the chosen one or the chosen one with his emotional prejudices. Conflicts and quarrels become almost a daily ritual that drives relationships to a standstill.
Therefore, it is important that two people work on relationships, listen to each other. Constant dialogue makes it possible to optimally protect the couple from often meaningless conflicts, allows partners to focus on important things.
Love is not a means by which we can give our lives meaning and joy. Like an energy object, it is able to develop and grow, giving us a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment of life. And the more a couple will cherish their love and work on relationships, the more joy and happiness it will bring.
At all stages, with its help, we can reveal our potential, aspiration, our positive and negative sides. Plus, through love, we also accept the imperfection of our chosen ones.
How to develop resilience at each stage of a relationship?
Everyone, if desired, can influence the development of stability in relationships. For this you need:
- Focus your attention on what is under your control — your own behavior. Decided to change something at any stage of the relationship — immediately embody your intentions. Don’t expect the first step from your partner, because it may simply not be there.
- Constantly remind yourself of the first moments of your love. Do not forget about those features and behavior that made you fall in love with this particular person. Let these feelings constantly manifest themselves in brighter colors.
- Express your annoyance and resentment in a reasonable way. Know how to maintain loyalty, honesty and kindness in any situation. By the way, you can pass the loyalty test.
- Focus on constant emotional rapprochement. Let love be lighter and more sincere.
- Pay attention to and appreciate exceptionally good qualities in a partner. Develop a sense of gratitude for life together and moments of joy. This feeling makes us value relationships more and more at any stage.
- Control your emotions and feelings. Sometimes a partner can make us feel stupid or ignorant in some matters. If you feel empty or angry at this point in time, try focusing on your life purpose or dream. Think about whether you are living the life you dreamed of? Are you developing your strengths and willpower? Identify what can make you a truly happy person, and work in that direction, creating the kind of life in which you will be happy.
- Don’t ignore advice. For example, with the loss of love and trust, the culprit can be either one or both partners. Don’t ignore working together to solve problems that arise. Often the advice of a psychologist or a friend can provide an opportunity to find a new way out of any situation, unexpected for a couple. Don’t give up if the relationship is truly dear to you.
Conclusion
I also recommend that you read an article about selfishness in relationships.
Dear readers! Now you know what stages exist in the relationship between a man and a woman. I hope this article was useful for you, you learned how to help yourself in difficult and decisive moments. All the best and see you in new posts!