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Autumn and winter in the city is a dull time when it is easy to slip into the blues. But emotions are not introduced into the body from the outside, but come from within. How to learn to better understand yourself and manage your own perception in order to get rid of melancholy and maintain a cheerful mood?
1. Understand and respond correctly to real signals of your emotions
Negative emotions are very important: they give a signal of what we lack for harmony and comfort. However, most people are unaware of these signals and react incorrectly to them.
The three most common emotions that hurt us the most are fear, anger, and guilt.
- Fear is a warning of danger
- Anger is a reaction to something that is unfair or dishonest to ourselves.
- Guilt is a signal of our dishonest / unfair act towards someone
To get rid of these emotions and restore mental balance, you need to remove the reason why they arose. We need to eliminate the threat, restore justice in relation to ourselves or to the one we offended (and if this is not possible, forgive the offender or ourselves).
This is far from always possible to do simply and quickly, but it is necessary for the unpleasant emotion to go away.
It is important to remember that no amount of sweets, alcohol or anything else will remove the real cause of the emotion. On the contrary, it often adds feelings of guilt and anger towards oneself. Be aware of these simple signals and eliminate the causes of their occurrence as quickly as possible.
2. Don’t complain
Don’t complain about snow, rain, bulky clothes, or glasses fogging up on the subway. Ideally, don’t complain about anything at all. A complaint, like any other thought, increases itself in our consciousness. Complaining does not help to “blow off steam” by giving vent to negative emotions.
On the contrary, once in the focus of our attention, it acquires new details and facets, distorting perception in a negative direction.
In the cold season, there are especially many reasons to complain. But by doing this you will not help yourself or anyone else, but only worsen the mood of yourself and those around you. Instead of complaining, try to think constructively.
3. See “through” people
It is very easy to take the rude and unpleasant behavior of the people around you at face value and let it ruin your mood. But it is much better to learn to look a little further.
A person in harmony and joy never behaves rudely, aggressively or caustically. Such reactions are always a consequence and often an involuntary outlet of their personal anxieties, problems and worries.
Rarely do these unpleasant reactions have anything to do with you. You are just an excuse. And understanding this radically changes the perception of such situations. They are still unpleasant, but they no longer matter much.
Once you’ve kept your composure, you’ll begin to wonder what’s going on in that person’s life if he or she reacts that way. Because in order to maintain peace and harmony, we ourselves need to respond competently, no matter what happens around.
If you respond correctly to your own emotions, think constructively, not complain, and understand that other people’s negative reactions are a consequence of their incorrect reaction to their own emotions, then at any time of the year comfort, joy and peace will be with you.
About the Developer
Alexander Valyunin – hypnotherapist, member of international associations NGH, IBHEC and 5-PATH® IAHP. More on it .