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3 signs your man is going to be a bad dad
There are guys who cannot be corrected: in some the spirit of freedom is too strong, while in others eternal youth plays. It is interesting to have romances with them, but not a family. How do you know if your partner is one of those?
For a relationship to be strong and happy, both partners must work on it. But sometimes it turns out that someone alone pulls everything on himself, and the discontent that arises against this background pours out on the second. He, in turn, tries to escape the flow of negativity, and this is where the relationship ends. It is especially sad when this happens in the background of planning or immediately after the birth of the child. How to understand that a man is not yet ready to become a father? We deal with a psychologist.
From the standpoint of my “Master of Analysis” methodology, there are very clear signals indicating that a man is not yet ready to become a father and a woman can easily recognize them if she pays attention.
“Childish” behavior in an adult man
This is the first and most obvious sign. Long hangs on social networks, hours playing a console or computer games, refusal of some basic things like food or sex in favor of entertainment – these are signs that you have a son, not a husband.
When a woman meets a man who acts like a teenager, the best thing she can do for the future is not to marry him, much less bear children from him. Because this man is still a boy psychologically, and you will not remake him until he grows up himself. The maximum that shines for both of you is the relationship in the “mom-son” model, where you will perform the function of a mom, and he is a son.
Remember, children cannot raise children. A husband with the psychology of a son will in every possible way sabotage possible competition from the baby, behave aggressively in the struggle for your attention, or simply leave when you still give birth and switch from satisfying his wants to the needs of the baby. If you are not ready to play this game, it is better not to get involved in it and immediately refuse to marry such a man.
A man who spends 90% of his time on the Internet, on parties with friends or in his world, where there is no place for you or children, is not ready to become a father. He already feels good, and everything suits him! And you do not need to amuse yourself with hopes that by forcing him to drag himself down the aisle or getting pregnant, you will make him an exemplary husband and father. No! You won’t, because these are also signs of adolescent behavior and an immature personality. In addition, a golden mean is needed on this issue, especially when it comes to the female position voiced to a man in response to his behavior.
Nobody says that with the start of family life it is time to stop communicating with all friends and dig in at home. The question is in context and how long social contacts take in relation to everything else. The fact that a woman is waiting for her husband for hours from another spree in bars is afraid to send for greens to the store, because he can easily leave for a few days in another city or hang out in the garage with a friend when they are waiting for him at home, this is not about a family. And even less about children. Throw away illusions and just run away from them. Hang out, walk, have mind-blowing sex and fill your albums with the memory of a crazy youth. But do not marry such people, they are not yet ready for this, and even more so they are not ready for children.
I don’t want, I can’t, I won’t
The third point, giving one hundred percent immunity from children with a specific guy, is the realization that he does not want, cannot and will not take responsibility for his woman and your common future. There are a number of stop words, upon hearing which, a woman can immediately draw a conclusion about the man’s intention and whether he is ready for children. “Let’s live for ourselves”, “let’s first buy an apartment (a car, a cat of a rare breed or an airplane – it doesn’t matter)”, “no money”, “the time is not right” …
Each of these phrases only says that the man does not want or cannot directly say that he does not want and will not take responsibility for you and your child, because he does not need him. You will start looking for some opportunity to remove his protective barrier from words – irritation on his part, frequent quarrels, manipulations, blackmail and parting will begin. No matter how good it is before the topic of children, as soon as it comes to them, a scandal will begin. And so it will be every time the woman returns to the conversation. Think three times, do you need it?
Are you ready for children?
To avoid all this nightmare in your life, leave the man alone and immerse yourself in yourself. Understand whether you yourself want this child or something is ticking somewhere and the idea that you urgently need to give birth has been imposed on you. It is rather difficult to distinguish the personal desire for motherhood from the pressure of society. In our country, after all, in our country the people do not differ in tact and all and sundry can ask why she is suddenly not giving birth to a girl, give advice and use other methods to knock her moral compass.
In fact, when a woman really wants a child, her husband automatically begins to expect the same. So if you yourself are afraid of motherhood inside, this is reflected in the relationship in a couple as in a mirror – a woman is energetically stronger than a man, and all her desires are transmitted to him. And since she doesn’t want, neither does he.
Why is it better to have children in marriage?
The second prerequisite for pregnancy to occur is that the parents-to-be must be married. This is not only a matter of the legal side of the issue, but rather of our unconscious. Unmarried lovers rarely concentrate on anything other than pleasure, and even more so they do not think about procreation. Well, we also remember the point about responsibility: if a man is really interested in a woman, he wants to answer and is ready to claim her rights. And without this, both partners are not sure that the game is worth the candle.
In the case when a man’s unwillingness to have children is associated with chronic trauma, fears or psychological experiences, a woman should talk about her feelings and needs. It will not help – contact a specialist. The main thing is not to scandalize, not to blackmail the man and not to put pressure on him. Relationships should be built on love, harmony and voluntariness.
Why are we afraid to become parents
The issue of children in the family is always visible in the analysis and consultations of psychologists. It always becomes clear whether both parents are ready for them or not. There can be anything here, and in each specific case you need to look for your own reason and choose an individual approach. There is always a reason, you just need to find out.
A man or a woman does not want children, but they are afraid to admit it, someone in a couple did not let go of their previous relationship, someone has problems with their parents, long-standing fears and traumas, parental reproaches stuck in their head – this and much more can be the reason that the future dad is not ready for babies. In this case, a woman should either immediately choose someone with whom she can build a family, and not get involved with men with whom she has different goals. Or to help the one she loves, but then she will need a lot of strength, the man’s desire to change something and a good specialist. Whatever your case, it has a solution if you want to accept it.