We cannot become a good friend to another person if we have not learned to be sensitive to ourselves. Social psychologist Jacques Salome not only lays out the basic principles of “correct” communication, but teaches the philosophy of communication.
1. See the depth. A lot of books, talking about effective communication, offer simple technologies. But a person who has studied them can be likened to a would-be chess player who has learned the rules for moving pieces – nothing more. Yes, the horse, of course, walks with the letter “G” – but where and why? Salome’s book teaches not the right moves, but an understanding of the philosophy of communication and the relationships behind it. Having mastered these depths, we ourselves will be able to find the right moves.
2. Understand the other. It is no easier to hear than to be heard. “I’m not feeling well, but don’t worry, go on vacation,” what does a loved one really want to say? What drives him – secret resentment, guilt? Salome is convinced that we are able to understand another person. But only when we learn to hear and understand ourselves.
3. Hear yourself. The original title of the book is: “If I listened to myself … I would hear myself” (“Si je m’écoutais… je m’entendrais”). This is the main idea: no one can become a good friend for another person if he has not become a sensitive interlocutor to himself. With the help of examples, stories from life, Salome offers to figure out what injuries and resentments, unmet needs and personal myths actually control us when we suddenly snap at an innocent request for no reason, experience inexplicable irritation with a person who has done nothing wrong to us, or we are offended by loved ones, while they, on the contrary, expected gratitude from us …
Peter, 304 p.