3 negative attitudes that hinder self-improvement

All of these excuses serve the same purpose—they remove some of the responsibility for our own lives from us. When we realize this, we will have the opportunity to get rid of them and reveal all our true possibilities.

“It’s easy to say that we want to improve our lives. But when it comes down to it, it turns out that it’s even easier not to change anything. We begin to come up with endless excuses for ourselves why we can’t, shouldn’t, or don’t want to do what is useful and important for us, ”explains Jeffrey Siegel, a life coach from Boston.

Here are three typical excuses that are especially common

1. “I don’t know how”

We all would like to go through life on a reliable path. Unfortunately, when we finish getting an education, we will not have a curriculum further. Someone to tell us what we need to know. There are no more teachers and lecturers who are always ready to answer questions and indicate where to go next.

We have to compose our own “curriculum”, study and “take exams”. This is a difficult job, and we will not always be able to cope with it. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “if only…” excuses that allow you to shirk responsibility.

• If I only knew how to improve my diet, I would eat much better.
• If someone made me a training plan, I would play sports much more often.
• If I knew what I was really interested in, I could find a job.
• If I knew how to expand my business, I would be much more successful.

In reality, these are mostly technical problems. You can find answers to them yourself or use paid services. Unless the information we are looking for relates to some extremely rare and little-studied topic, even a simple Internet search can provide a lot.

• Do you want to learn how to meditate? There are many video tutorials on the web.
• Do you want to learn how to cook organic food? Look for a food blog or follow Instagram feeds about healthy eating.
• Want to get in shape? Look for free yoga classes or try a new workout program at your local fitness studio.

The question is not whether you can find information and opportunities for yourself. The search for information itself can become addictive. The question is whether we are ready to make efforts for self-improvement. Google search won’t change us. To do this, you need to really immerse yourself in a new activity.

We must firmly decide what we want to become and learn to trust ourselves. When we say, “I don’t know how,” we are actually saying, “I don’t believe I can do it.” That is why the support of others is so important. A coach, mentor, teacher can give a lot of practical advice that will help us believe in ourselves and feel that we are ready for the next steps.

The best mentors are able to break down the whole path to solving our problems into small steps that we can take one by one. More importantly, a mentor helps us decide to take action, although we do not know exactly what awaits us along the way. Uncertainty should not interfere with us.

To stop justifying our inaction with “we don’t know how”, we need to look inside ourselves and understand what we really know. Start with this. Seek support from those around you and trust that you will find the answers to your questions along the way.

2. “Now is not the right time”

“I had a client who was divorcing his wife at the time, had recently lost a parent, and on top of that, his business was on the verge of bankruptcy. He had an incredibly difficult and chaotic period in his life. I warned him that now is not the best time for drastic changes. But he proved me wrong. “If not now, then when? I’m already undergoing major changes. So what if there are a few more? he said to me. He changed his whole routine and took more care of himself. I started cooking, running in the morning and keeping a diary,” says Jeffrey Siegel.

This story well demonstrates that in life we ​​are surrounded by many problems at any time. We always have to take care of our health, work, family, relationships and everything else. All this cannot be “paused” when we need a breather to do something else. Our overall “busyness” naturally changes over time.

When there is a period of “calm”, take advantage of it and make every effort to solve the most important problems. At the same time, you should never put something off until later, hoping that some magical moment will come when you will be “ready”. “If you wait for ideal conditions to develop, you will wait a lifetime,” warns Jeffrey Siegel.

It’s not really a question of whether now is the right time. The question is whether you are ready to continue to endure your current position in life. If not, then why wait, why not change something right now? If today is not the right moment, what makes you think that tomorrow will be the right time?

The real reason may be that you are not yet ready to give up your current lifestyle. Let him not suit you, but at least he is familiar and familiar. But, unfortunately, leaving everything as it is, we will not achieve what we really want.

3. “I know what to do, but I don’t do it”

This problem can be safely called the “King of self-sabotage” or the “Prince of procrastination.” You understand what can be done to improve your situation. You just don’t do it or do it very irregularly.

“I have had clients who tried again and again to make their lifestyle healthier and each time gave up their attempts. They had no lack of knowledge. They lacked consistency and determination,” says Jeffrey Siegel.

This problem can manifest itself in different ways. Here are the most typical options:

“Impatient”. You quickly get bored with everything and constantly want something new. Therefore, it is impossible to stick to the chosen course long enough to see the results. After a couple of weeks, you drop everything and look for some new promising program, follow it for a while, and soon you get bored with it. The cycle of constant disappointment continues.

“Lost Hope” You’ve tried losing weight, exercising regularly, controlling violent emotions, taking better care of yourself. But after numerous attempts, you did not get better, and maybe even worse. You are tormented by a sense of shame, and you give up. Another failed attempt. It’s too hard. You’d rather leave things as they are than try again to fail again.

“They don’t understand what they want.” It seems to you that you want a lot: expand your business, improve relationships with others, get your body in shape. But you don’t really know what you want. It is not the “cubes” of the abdominal press that are important and not the size of the bank account. It is important to feel confident in your own body. It is important to be confident in the future, that you can provide for your family. The problem is that you still haven’t clearly articulated what you really want to get.

“Eternally dissatisfied cynics.” You feel like the whole world is against you. Everyone seems to have conspired to prevent you from reaching your desired goal. Instead of changing something, you endlessly complain about injustice. You don’t see anything good around you. If you were not so cynical and distrustful, there would certainly be those who would sincerely want to help you. To achieve what you want, you will have to get rid of the contemptuous attitude towards other people and learn to cooperate equally.

“those who consider themselves unworthy.” You know what you want, but you don’t believe you deserve it. “Who am I to dream about this?” your inner voice whispers. Low self-esteem deprives you of any motivation. Self-doubt paralyzes you. You will wait for “permission” from others, because you do not have enough self-respect to just start going towards your goal.

You can name dozens of different reasons that prevent us from acting and approaching the goal. Many of them are related to unresolved emotional “blocks” and limiting beliefs. It is important not only to clearly understand what you want, but also to believe that you can really achieve it, that you deserve it.

When your mind says “you can’t” and your heart seems to whisper “you can!” To resolve this contradiction, you need self-confidence, support from loved ones and a little faith. Only this will help you finally stop looking for excuses and start moving towards your goal. And while working to increase productivity, we simultaneously grow as a person.

What if others interfere with us?

If we fail to become more productive, the problem is not always only in our internal blocks. Often, very real external obstacles stand in our way. Of course, some people are more fortunate than others. Someone has significant resources and support from friends and colleagues, someone is deprived of this.

Employer policy or family issues may be keeping you from getting ahead despite your best efforts. And yet, before thinking about external obstacles, it is important to deal with internal obstacles. To be productive means to be able to live correctly. Do not think that increasing productivity is only for our employer.

It’s about learning to play the game of life well. “Productivity touches every aspect of our lives, from relationships with others to work. To a large extent, it depends on our attitude towards ourselves. If we lead the right way of life, we automatically become more productive. The main thing is to work on yourself, grow and develop,” says Jeffrey Siegel.

In order to achieve your goals, it is important to “smooth out the sharp corners” of your character, to realize your internal contradictions and become the master of your own life. Nobody will do this for you.