Contents
Sagging shoulders, a sad look, sighs, monosyllabic answers – it is usually not difficult to notice that a loved one had a difficult day. It is much more difficult to understand what to say, how and how to support it. And absolutely aerobatics – do not immediately rush to solve the problems of another. How do you express empathy then? Let’s talk about the three easiest ways.
Recall a time when you had a hard time — because of a conflict at work or with a partner, unresolved financial difficulties, professional burnout, disappointment, or a personal crisis.
All that is needed at such moments is to simply listen to you, without judging or giving advice. But this is not easy – it is much more customary to comment, analyze the situation or give examples from life.
Three tips will help you show more empathy when communicating with others, and who knows, maybe they will begin to respond in kind.
1. Make it clear that you noticed how difficult it is for the interlocutor
When we start a conversation with the questions “How are you? Is everything all right?”, the interlocutor may get the impression that we are not particularly ready to listen to the story of his problems. Show more sensitivity and attention, make it clear that you see changes in the mood of a loved one and want to know more about the reasons.
You could say, for example, “Something seems to be bothering you. This is true? Can you tell me what happened?” Listen to the answer without attempting to encourage, distract, or offer advice.
2. Show a sincere desire to understand a loved one
It is important to convey to the interlocutor that you are not trying to “fix” him or the situation, but you are worried about him and want to know more about what he is experiencing.
Ask: “And how do you feel about this? You worked so hard, and all the merits were attributed to your colleague – how do you feel about it? Or: “I want to understand how it is when you are not allowed to even take a step on your own. Will you tell? How is it for you?
If it is appropriate (and only in this case!), tell the interlocutor about what you noticed during the time of communication with him. For example: “I remember how your eyes burned when you first started this job. Does she still inspire you so much, or has something changed?
A close person can be very encouraged by a reminder of how much he has already achieved and what a fine fellow he is, the main thing is to speak succinctly and talk about him, and not about himself.
Let the interlocutor understand that you are completely on his side, close to listen and support him. Even if you think you know exactly how to solve a problem, it’s best to keep your advice to yourself unless you’re asked for it.
Depending on how and what the loved one responds, you can decide what to do next: continue the conversation or change the subject, but in any case, after a while, be sure to ask how things are going to show that you care.