25 phrases to calm an anxious child

1.

“What do you feel? Can you draw this?”

Children often cannot express their state in words, and this inexpressibility makes it even more painful. With the help of paints or pencils, the child will be able not only to express what torments him, but also to look at his anxiety from the outside, make it tangible and a little less scary.

2.

“I love you. You are safe”

Anxiety makes a child feel insecure. Your words that he has nothing to fear are especially important in this situation.

3.

“Let’s pretend we’re inflating a balloon. Take a deep breath and blow until I count to five.”

One surefire way to deal with anxiety is to even out your breathing. But if you ask your child to take a deep breath in the middle of a panic attack, you might hear the response, “I can’t.” It will be easier for you if you present it in the form of a game.

4.

“I want you to repeat after me: “I can.” Do it ten times”

This method is used by marathon runners to overcome the “wall” – a feeling of powerlessness that occurs after overcoming most of the distance, when the body’s resources are at the limit.

5.

“Why do you think so?”

This question helps the child break down the dark and frightening image of their anxiety into simpler and clearer details. This technique is especially useful for older children who are already able to analyze their thoughts and feelings.

6.

“We are together! We are not afraid of anyone”

Feeling alone and separated is a powerful source of anxiety. Show your child that you will always be with him in your thoughts, even if you are physically far away.

7.

“If your experiences were monsters (Pokémon), what would they look like?”

By giving experiences a concrete image, we make them more concrete and tangible. Invite the child to come up with his “sadness” story, talk to him. Think together about how to scare him away.

8.

“Let’s put your anxiety on the shelf and do something. If you want, then we’ll take it again”

Anxious children often think that their anxiety will be with them all the time. Attempts to convince the child not to think about his condition will lead to the opposite effect. Instead, invite him to briefly separate himself from his experience, step back and view it from a safe distance. This is a very efficient technique.

9.

“This feeling will pass. Let’s get comfortable and wait.”

When our body is in a comfortable position, this state is transferred to the mind. An ordinary blanket and throw can be a wonderful “calm”.

10

“Let’s find out more about this”

Anxiety is like a dark dungeon, with something frightening lurking in every corner. Let the child explore it, but be there. Ask him questions, guide him. Your presence will help him realize from his own experience that “fear has big eyes.”

11

“Let’s count to ten”

This simple technique helps to distract from disturbing thoughts. Invite the child to count anything – a watch on the hands of passers-by, curtained windows in the house opposite, or moles on the hand.

12

“Close your eyes. Imagine…”

Visualization is a powerful technique used by athletes to reduce pain and anxiety. Invite your child to walk through the magical forest from The Lord of the Rings, Hogwarts, or the space station. Ask what he sees – encourage him to fantasize.

13

“Set two minutes and tell me when they pass”

Focusing on time is also good for dealing with anxiety. Watching the movement of the second hand, hourglass or electronic timer, the child ceases to concentrate on his experiences.

14

“I get scared/anxious sometimes too. It’s not very fun.”

Empathy is the strongest remedy against fear and uncertainty. You can also share your own memories and experiences with your child, how you experienced anxiety, how you learned to cope with it.

15

“Let’s write down on this piece of paper all the good things that come to your mind”

Anxiety creates a “short circuit” in the areas of the brain responsible for logic. Lists help organize your thoughts, and positive memories inspire and give strength.

16

“Tell me: what is the worst thing that can happen?”

The purpose of this exercise is to help the child more consciously imagine what he is afraid of and why. Discuss what the consequences might be and how you can respond to them. Instead of a vaguely terrible image of the future, the child will have a clear idea that something unpleasant, but fixable, will happen.

17

“What is written in your “thought cloud”?”

If your kids read comics, they’re familiar with the white bubbles that artists put characters’ words into. This unusual way of reasoning helps them step back from their experiences and observe their condition from a safe distance.

18

“Let’s play court – look for evidence that there is nothing to worry about”

With the help of this game, you offer the child to build his own defense and respond to all possible attacks of the “inner critic”.

19

“I’m already proud of you”

Knowing that his efforts have already been rewarded, the child is relieved of the burden of perfectionism – a source of great stress for most anxious children.

20

“Let’s go for a walk”

Walking in the fresh air burns excess energy, increases muscle tone and improves mood. If right now you don’t have time for a walk, invite your child to jump rope, squat, or just stretch.

21

“I know it’s hard”

Recognize that the situation is serious and your child has every right to be worried. This is how you show him that you respect his feelings.

22

“Tell me about it”

Speaking out your thoughts and feelings will help your child sort them out and find a solution. Listen carefully without interrupting.

23

“Remember how you dealt with..?”

By reminding your child of his past successes, you strengthen him in his own abilities.

24

“I can’t move this heavy cabinet. Will you help me?”

Physical effort helps relieve tension and release emotions.

25

“Let’s think of a different ending for this story”

The child already has a story in his head about what will happen next. And this scenario makes him nervous. Accept his version and then offer to think about how else this story could end.