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How to stop seeing the negative in everything? Do you think this will take forever? Not at all. It only takes 24 hours and these six psychological tricks to change your outlook on life.
Pessimism comes from mood, optimism comes from our will. Many contemporary philosophers agree on this. In other words, if a gloomy view of the world does not require any effort from us, then optimism often comes only after some work on ourselves.
We selected a few exercises from cognitive behavioral therapy and personal growth experts and imagined how the day would go for someone who wants to become an optimist and learns to do so. Of course, the picture turned out to be conditional: in order to acquire a positive view of what is happening, time and a considerable amount of courage are needed. However, you can always try…
7:30 am Right after waking up
Neuroscientists believe that at the moment of awakening, we are especially susceptible. Therefore, the first minutes of wakefulness are good to use in order to create a positive attitude for the whole day.
Concentrate on the pleasant event of the coming day. Lying in bed, imagine that you are in a movie theater and you see yourself on the screen – the way you would like to be. Try to feel happy, full of energy. Look at the coming day as if your dreams came true in it. Find your loved ones in this picture – they also realize themselves, everything is fine with them. Enjoy these pleasant sensations. Feeling during the day a breakdown or a change in mood, remember “what you saw” – this will give you energy.
According to the method of Stephen Hassen, author of the book “Liberation from psychological violence” (Prime-Eurosign, 2001).
10:00 in the office
Time to deal with business issues. Turning to superiors or partners, fearing that they will refuse you, means, most likely, a refusal and receive. We achieve our goal more easily if we think about the result of the meeting with optimism, in a conversation we act as an equal and confident interlocutor. But how not to take a back seat under the harsh gaze of the boss?
Close your eyes for a minute and imagine your interlocutor during a morning jog in a tracksuit and a hat with a pom-pom… Try to “see” how he and his children (or grandchildren) make Easter cakes in the sandbox… So he will cease to be the master of the situation, you will see in him an ordinary living person with whom you can talk. Such a thought experiment helps to perceive the situation realistically: you better see what is the real superiority of the interlocutor, and what is only an external effect (office decor, clothes, manners that confirm his social status).
According to the method of Yulia Krizhanskaya and Vitaly Tretyakov, authors of the book “Grammar of Communication” (Sense, Peter, 2005).
14:30 Lunch break
It is not always easy to pause in the working whirlwind, but it is necessary. The pace of modern life makes it increasingly difficult for us to experience true joy, to slowly savor pleasure, being aware of it and taking care of all stages of its experience. Take a walk for at least a few minutes before dinner. Walk with confidence, not too fast, not too slow.
Breathe slowly and deeply, relaxing your diaphragm. This will help you get rid of internal tension. Take a look around with interest, as if you are seeing everything that surrounds you for the first time, imagine that you are in a museum or in another country … Gradually, a sense of peace will return to you. While admiring the clouds, pay attention to their color, consider the trees that you will meet on the way. Think about the cycles of nature, that spring always comes after winter… The thought that everything in this world is renewed will give you strength.
According to the method of Martin Seligman, author of the book “The New Positive Psychology” (Sofia, 2006).
16:00 During an important meeting
The intense work rhythm is growing. The conversation just finished keeps spinning in your head: you should have fought back differently, used tough arguments … You want to go back and replay everything, regret that you failed to achieve the goal gnaws and takes away strength.
Try to interrupt this flow of experiences. Imagine how you could react to the words of the interlocutor in the worst, unimaginable way. For example, they would have thrown the computer on the floor, scattered important papers around the office … Imagine this picture vividly, in detail.
It turns out that the very thought of what we could do provokes an explosion of emotions, releases energy, and mood improves.
Go back to how the actual conversation ended. Now you are able to calmly think about and analyze what happened, because in your imagination you have already experienced a surge of emotions, and they no longer take away your strength and do not cloud your mind.
According to the method of Larisa Gracheva, author of the book “Emotional Training: The Art of Controlling Yourself” (Rech, 2004).
19:00 In traffic
You are tired, hungry and feel irritation growing inside: “Here we are stuck, we will stand here for two hours, if not more! I will not have time to check the lessons with the children again! And you won’t be able to dine like a human being!” You are nervous, your pulse quickens. What you are feeling right now is a typical reaction of a pessimist, confident that the worst is bound to happen. But you are quite capable of learning to control these disturbing sensations.
First of all, think about the most favorable possible scenario: “The road will clear quickly, and I will arrive on time.”
Then imagine what might actually happen by taking a middle ground between pessimistic and positive thinking: “I’ll be late, but not by much. What I don’t have time to check, I’ll ask the children tomorrow on the way to school. And you can have dinner easily, in a hurry. ”
This point of view is no less realistic than that of a pessimist.
According to the method of Vera Loseva and Alexey Lunkov, authors of the book (together with Nina Rusakova) “Learning to be happy” (Sense, Peter, 2006).
22:00 Home on the couch
You feel dissatisfied: “The day has flown by, but things have not moved!” But if you remember what you still managed to do? And it wasn’t necessarily possible today: note the happy events, the moments when you managed to overcome yourself, when you were proud of yourself. Remember what skills you have acquired, the qualities that you have developed in yourself.
Turn your attention to the position of your body. If your posture is angular (looking down, head tilted forward and slightly to one side), then internally you are still immersed in work problems. Sit straight, lean back on the back of a sofa or chair, relax your arms and legs, raise your head slightly and look up.
Ask yourself: “What would I really like?”
Dream about your life as a whole, and perhaps you will see new scenarios. Such a technique with a change in posture and style of thinking is good to apply in situations where it seems to you that you have reached a dead end and do not know how to proceed.
Based on the methodology of Robert Dilts, author of NLP: Effective Presentation Skills (Peter, 2002).