20 Love Truths We Learn Too Late

Life continually teaches us lessons, but we, as a rule, learn them only when we can no longer change anything. And although you can’t lay straws at every step, we hope that the collected truths will help you on your romantic path.

1. It is foolish to believe that a partner already knows how dear to us

Don’t take your loved one for granted. Even if you’ve been together forever, don’t forget to talk about how much you appreciate your partner, preferably every day. Use the simplest words for this, for example: “It’s so great that you remind me to water the plants”, “You always make coffee for me first, and then for yourself – it’s so cute!”

2. Happiness is sometimes more important than being right

Remembering your interests and goals is certainly necessary, but it is important to think about the well-being of your couple as well. The constant desire to prove one’s case, even if it upsets the partner, does not lead to anything good. You are a team, and if one loses, everyone loses.

3. It’s better to be alone than “with just anyone”

Staying in a relationship with a partner just to avoid loneliness is unfair to say the least. You both deserve more. You deserve people who will love you and whom you will love. In addition, relationships and even marriage are not a cure for loneliness.

4. Choose a person for who he is now …

… And not based on what it can become under your strict guidance. Do not hope that you can change your partner, “make a person out of him” – a successful, rich, exemplary family man or a wonderful housewife. Sooner or later, everything will end with the fact that the illusions that you yourself have built will collapse.

5. A partner will not make you happy.

If you are dissatisfied with life, the partner will not be able to fix it, because happiness is always a product of inner work. The other person cannot and should not make you happy. It is not his fault that you are sad, unless he treats you badly.

6. It is impossible to force another to love us.

No matter how hard you try, it’s not in our power: people do not choose whom they love. So, if a partner has stopped loving you and wants to be with someone else, you need to let him go. Yes, it will hurt, but it’s better than spending years desperately trying to win back love.

7. Appearance, ambition and income will not help build long-term relationships.

This is a banal truth, but many continue to choose partners based solely on external qualities. And it would be worth diving deep in search of respect, the ability to communicate and negotiate, the willingness to grow.

8. You either grow together or separate and grow on your own.

You are no longer the same person you were ten years ago, and ten years later you will also be different. Therefore, if your partner is not interested in growth, you are most likely out of the way. Take a step towards someone who thinks broader and is not ready to stop there.

9. Love is a choice, not just a feeling

Yes, you can’t force someone to love us, but the truth is that the intensity of passions weakens over the years. And the fact that we stay with the same person for decades is the result of our choice.

10. Love alone is not enough for a healthy relationship.

No less important is trust and mutual respect, which is manifested in the way we behave with a partner. Without this, the union is unlikely to stand the test of time.

11. Even in a relationship, you need to make time for yourself.

Go on dates with yourself. If you stop doing this and direct all the flow of your love to your partner, you will soon cease to be the person with whom he once fell in love.

12. Your needs are your responsibility

Your partner doesn’t have to guess what you want or need. Learn to talk about it.

13. You can not agree on everything, but at the same time respect each other

It’s okay to look at things differently. It’s even more interesting this way: firstly, new topics for discussion are born, and secondly, you see each other in a new way. The main thing in this matter is to respectfully listen to someone else’s point of view.

14. Relationships need to be invested every day.

Relationships are not global. It’s a million little things, moments, actions, words. They need to be raised like a baby or a flower, and not forget about careful care.

15. Focusing on problems does not lead to anything good.

Especially if you only do what you point out to your partner about his mistakes and mistakes, but do not try to help. Start a conversation about problems only when you have options for solving them.

16. To love someone is to accept

And, as mentioned earlier, do not try to change – even for the sake of “his good.” If such thoughts do not leave you, perhaps you simply chose the wrong person.

17. Any relationship is valuable

We are cunning when we say that we “gave someone the best years of our lives” or “wasted time on him.” Almost in any relationship there are not only bad, but also good moments. In addition, any union teaches us valuable lessons. But this does not mean that it should not be terminated, especially if you are unhappy in it.

18. A partner will not satisfy all your needs.

Psychotherapist Esther Perel is convinced that many of us expect our partner to “close” all our needs at once. It will become for us both the best friend, and the lover, and the one with whom you can share your favorite hobby. It will give us a sense of security and stimulate us intellectually… This hope is utopian, so it is worth surrounding yourself with people from whom you can receive all this separately.

19. Real love is not at all like in the movies

Drama, jealousy, tears, betrayals, violent scandals and hot reconciliations – all this is suitable for screens. In life, this suggests that the relationship with a partner is not very healthy and you should at least think about it.

20. Do not compare your union with others

Do not focus on those whose relationships you see only from the “presentation” side: bloggers, celebrities, even our acquaintances rarely show how they really live. Instead of looking back at others and envying their harmony, focus on your relationship.

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