20 actions of love

Talking about love in general is empty, only real things are close to me. In one wonderful film, the protagonist’s voice-over says: “There is a lot of love in the world. I love being in airports. Nowhere is love manifested so much as when people meet after parting. And then there are shots of people meeting each other, hugs, joy, kisses … Love is a real miracle in our everyday life.

What does «love» mean to me? Before studying at UPP, my own bright and strong emotions, and the same emotions of another person, were my idea of ​​love. And the power of love was measured in the desire to spend your time and affection on me by a loved one, and on my part to spend time and affection on him. Now I realize that I was talking more about my love language.

The concept of love has changed a lot for me since I weighed my values ​​and goals. Now, for me, love is the result of daily work on oneself, passed through balanced decisions by an intelligent person and fulfilled by the whole body. The lover is a worker, a scientist and a dancer, united in one person and living beautifully for the benefit of another person.

Love is what I do What do I do when I love? I will list the most important twenty points.

1) Love is time. A friend calls, we talk about everything and nothing, we discuss some poems, we talk about men, about acquaintances. We chat for an hour and a half or two. Usually, I’m terribly frugal in terms of time, but I decide to give this time to her. I know she really needs it. It is now vital for her to communicate with people, she distracts herself from those huge problems that have fallen on her with such chatter and a cheerful discussion of petty nonsense. I want to believe that this is a gift from my side for her. I could interrupt our communication, but I appreciate and value our relationship and spend this time on her so that she switches from bad thoughts to an easy and pleasant mood.

2) Love is attention. Made a Christmas present for my mom. She is very pleased.

3) Love is emotions and feelings. I feel emotional uplift next to the person I love. My emotional rise is visible and I “inspire” in my own way a similar state to people who are close to me, especially to the person who is loved by me. I inspire joy and energy. By the way, for me this is a small realization that my own emotions can also be a gift.

I understand that I have a lot of work ahead of me. Ahead is the exercise «interesting person» and «sunshine».

4) Love is support in exciting situations. I meet a young man. In the first seconds of acquaintance, the guy first looks away, then makes an embarrassed face, lights up, is silent, stealthily throws interested glances at me. There is a pause. I don’t love him. But out of empathy and benevolence, I ask an easy question to start a conversation. The guy immediately grabs the topic and begins to develop it. For me, there are no heavy pauses, I can be silent with another person with pleasure, as well as look into the eyes. Others did not study at Sinton and are not engaged in self-education, such moments are very difficult for them, I understand this. Therefore, imperceptibly for the other, I bring him into the situation of a familiar and measuredly ongoing conversation. In my opinion, such help is also love. But only without the inclusion of emotions.

5) Love is the ability to stop yourself. My younger brother (20 centimeters taller than me) did not make the bed. I’m going to clean up. He resists to the maximum: he shirks, shirks and continues his policy of «I’ll take it away.» I understand that I can’t physically force him, and if I can, then through a scandal, than I will destroy our friendly contact. I stop myself in a strong desire to yell at him. I decide to leave him alone for a while and let the situation take its course. My discipline is the exact opposite of his teenage looseness, having to accept his desire to be naughty and not obey me. Also love in my opinion.

6) Love is an eye-to-eye look (I’m not talking about an aggressive attack) and an attempt to understand another person: his feelings and emotions, his thoughts and desires. Recently, I have visited families with children twice and always practiced direct eye-to-eye gaze with the child. Immediate response in children. I was immediately “immersed” in their childhood stories, games, noisemakers, stories and events. With some serious enthusiasm and responsiveness, children share their secrets.

7) Love is empathy. I look at my mother and try to feel her feelings and emotions. It turns out, therefore, I really want to change her mood.

8) Love is prohibitions on stupidity in the behavior of loved ones, feedback, as it is fashionable to say now. Mom was deceived in money by a close friend whom she believed. She complains over and over again, very strongly and deeply worries about this topic. I do not support her in her desire to fill her life with this Event. I tell her that resentment is not something to be carried in the shower. She gets angry with me, says that she cannot control her emotions, but she pays less attention to what happened. (Looking at her, I understand well from whom I learned to feel what is happening so vividly and emotionally with my whole body, to experience it so colorfully and sincerely).

9) Love is care, cleaning, cooking in the house. I threw out the trash, cooked dinner, made tea. A wonderful feeling of caring.

10) Love is when I pick up things and completely pay attention to them, they are now expensive and beautiful. Taking care of things becomes easy and pleasant. I have long understood that it is much easier to love things than people, they do not resist and it is clear that it is useful for them.

11) In my opinion, the tool of love is a focus on the interests of another person. It is difficult for me to concentrate on another person, but it is given. I look at my friend A and begin to “torture” about his future life. “How do you plan to live the next 30 years?” The guy has eyes like tea saucers. “Never thought about it! Need to think». I try to feel into him, into his movements. He moves as if on hinges, spins, spins, the situation is difficult for him. We sit at a table, I’m opposite. I lean back, reduce my presence and pressure on him, give him the opportunity to take up more space. The guy calms down a little. And the question is not simple. In response, I hear: “Well, I don’t know …” I see that he is interested and the question hooked him. I continue with another question: “How much time do you need to answer this question? » I receive a strong surprise in response, but at the same time I also have a bold and interested look. Prior to this, he played in shyness. Fine. It starts spinning again and answers: “It’s like an exam with you … well, it takes six months to decide.” I catch myself putting too much pressure on him, but I support “Great, you’ll answer in six months, agreed.” I understand that I passed it on. I stop myself and ask him: “What jokes do you know?” Joins the topic and tells jokes. In the end, I hope that I gave him a topic for reflection. She posed questions. If I am not mistaken in it, I will think. Or maybe it won’t. But to heaven with sticks …

12) Love is a choice between intervening or not intervening. The most difficult question for me is to give advice or not to give, to climb with my own control centers or to give me the opportunity to decide for myself. My brother is dating a girl who, in my opinion, is not promising. Forbid him to meet (if possible) or allow him to make mistakes? The price of a mistake is a potential divorce and a “broken trough” with alimony and a fatherless child, on the other hand, the price of a mistake is to cross out his independence and relationships, take away the right to make a mistake. I choose to speak and warn. And then let him decide and act. I still don’t know the correct answer. That is, it turns out that love is, first of all, thinking with your head, and not with feelings? And if you love, then you develop your ability to think, not to feel?

13) Love is to give up jealousy. Insanely difficult, but possible. Another person has the right to create other beautiful relationships in this life. It is important to choose a person who knows how to create, and not use the freedom provided for the sake of his egoism and lust. Love is the ability to see a person’s potential and support him.

14) Love is daily violence against your unnecessary desires. I want to yell at my flatmates because they threw the boots in the hallway, yell at people on the subway so that they don’t get in the way and don’t push, get angry at my friend because … there is always a reason.

15) Love is work on oneself, so that others feel very, very good with me, it is easy to communicate, it is convenient to live, it is pleasant to realize oneself. I ask myself a question, but with a woman like me, I myself would begin to communicate? And what kind of person would be interested in talking? Oh, this is not an easy job to drag a hippopotamus out of the swamp.

16) Love is a matter of life, it is a list of values, it is a list of goals every day. Daily orientation on the ground.

17) Love is the courage to declare your plans and values ​​to another person. Because nothing excites people as much as the values ​​that they have or do not exist. It is the courage to disagree with the opinion of another person, even if he does not agree and this will jeopardize the relationship.

18) Love is “speaking softly about sharp things.” Good advice from Olga Paratnova: the tougher thing you have to say to people, the softer your voice should be. This is a concern for the other person to hear what may be more important to him than to me. This was when I told my friend that she behaves like a car owner. Whoever comes to visit her stuffs food, not paying attention to the lack of hunger in this person.

19) Love is the courage to communicate with unpleasant people, and not hide in your little world from communicating with these people with reproaches for the imperfection of others.

20) Love is the search for a compromise between my desires and the desires of other people. If you want, then we will go to the White Sea, and I will wear dresses to a restaurant in my hometown.

Are there acts of love that I’m proud of?

Oddly enough, I am very proud of my quiet act when I gave my young man the idea to write to me 🙂 under the windows of the hostel on the pavement: “Good morning, my love!” I am proud, because for him this romantic act became a source of pride and joy. He enjoyed the glory that fell on him. True, later I was somehow not very pleased to be in the center of close attention of the hostel, but it was a Beautiful Event.