17 emotions I went through when I got coronavirus

Horror and fear covered me when my husband’s temperature rose above 38 degrees at night. If not for all this hype around COVID-19, I would have given him an antipyretic and calmed down. But then … frightened by the information about the grave consequences of the disease, the emerging immune storm, the lack of places in hospitals, I was numb with fear. I wanted to hide under the covers and not believe that COVID-19 had come to my house.

Curiosity was the second emotion. From 6:30 to 11:00, as after a speed reading course, I instantly studied all the posts that I had saved in bookmarks on my phone. I listened to the lectures of doctors Komarovsky, Myasnikov and Denis Protsenko. For myself, I realized that only 20% of people COVID-19 causes complications, which, alas, can be neutralized only in specialized medical centers under the supervision of doctors. But in 80% of the disease occurs in a mild or moderately severe form at home. But how do you get among the easily ill?

Anxiety covered me when I realized that I could not predict the severity of the development of the disease in myself and my family. Having learned the test results, no matter what the patient does, he cannot be sure that he will not be among those 20% who develop a severe form. Of course, according to doctors, taking vitamins D, C, zinc helps the body to effectively cope with the disease, and a positive attitude works wonders. But … anxiety for my husband and daughter with their always sore throat, for their parents, who were our guests 4 days ago, did not leave me for an hour.

Calmness came to me when I had a brand new pulse oximeter at home to measure saturation (percentage of blood oxygen saturation), a tonometer (a device for measuring blood pressure), packs of all the necessary medications and a treatment protocol with clear instructions for each day, what, when and why to take. Yes, I believed in the power of drugs and a positive attitude. And also in the knowledge of doctors. I was lucky, there are two certified doctors in the family, albeit of a different profile. With them, it is easier to go through a similar situation.

Amazement, how much and quickly I can organize everything, allowed me to be as energetic as possible for the first two days. I understood that I would be the second sick person in the family, because we sleep in the same bed with my infected husband. I had to prepare and have time to do a lot before the illness: fill a full refrigerator with food, take vitamins and food to all elderly relatives for two weeks in advance, buy a bactericidal lamp and wash the whole apartment to a shine. Everyone asked: why are you washing? I understood that it would be less comfortable for me to get sick with heaps of dust, so I cleared the area to a shine.

Fright came when, 2 days after the onset of the first symptoms of my husband – fever and aches – a night cough covered me, and two days later my daughter’s thermometer showed 37,3. We all ended up indoors for the next 20 days! And this is not a vacation on the seashore, these are the four walls of your home and the inability to go somewhere. On the one hand, there is a teenage daughter who wants to run away to her friends as soon as possible, who complains that she is being kept locked up, and on the other hand, her husband, who has taken a horizontal position for all 20 days, is, I have the right, sick. And I’m in the middle!

Indifference helped me stay calm while looking at everything happening in my house. It’s good that we had the opportunity for everyone to lock themselves in their room and do whatever they want. We only met while eating. I had read somewhere before that during an illness or forced confinement it is not necessary to unite, unite and amuse everyone. Let everyone choose their own way of recovery. He wants to talk – listen, he doesn’t want to – let him lie, just don’t pester him with your desires.

Rejoicing happened when my husband got a positive PCR test. Since he was the first to get sick, we made a paid test only for him. What was she happy about? The fact that this happened and that now you can let go of the situation and not be afraid about every sneeze in the direction of the child and husband. It happened. We are sick with coronavirus, not bronchitis or ARVI. After recovering from my illness, I will return to dancing again and go to water aerobics, we will be able to meet with friends without being afraid to infect them involuntarily. There will be coffee in a cafe, going to the cinema and theater, and my daughter will go to school with antibodies.

I accepted the reality and was glad that we would be able to fit in before the New Year and be healthy.

Thanks I came to this world with messages on my phone: upon learning about my illness (and I had to cancel appointments along the way, postpone the dates of projects), my close and distant friends offered help. Advice, a desire to deliver medicine to my city (my family and I got infected exactly at the time when the drug labeling collapsed, and they disappeared from pharmacies), help in sending medicines from another city. Yes, I am a happy person – I have so many caring acquaintances. The meaning of the phrase “don’t have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends” I fully understood only when I got sick!

Shamethat I can let my colleagues at work, I felt on the 5th day of illness. My head ached, my body ached, there was only one desire – to do nothing. “Hey, I don’t recognize you,” I said to myself, because I have always been energetic, positive and never let anyone down. And then … the brain could hardly digest the work tasks that had to be done. I even called a friend and a colleague in the shop with the question: “If I feel really bad, can you replace me?” She quickly brought me to my senses, saying that she was very busy with a new project, so she could only help as a last resort.

Delightthat adolescents really easily tolerate this virus: my daughter had a temperature of 3 for only 37,3 days, and her throat hurt. All worries were in vain, she quickly got out. The second reason for the jubilation was that we did not infect our parents, they are healthy! Moreover, they finally believed that COVID-19 existed: for some reason, the older generation of my family did not take all this seriously, it seemed to them that they were out of spite isolated from the world, so that they would rather become sad from depression and the inability to see their grandchildren.

Confusion therefore, my whole family recovered in 10 days, and my cough continued even on the 19th. I was the only one in the family who was prescribed a CT scan and a bunch of tests. And when everyone already had negative tests, I still had a plus sign. And I generally do not like to get sick or to heal myself.

Indignation covered me when I received CT data with 24% lung damage, persistent cough and the appointment to inject a third antibiotic – where else! It was the 21st day of my illness. I was very angry at the infection in my lungs. Therefore, I bought myself a new expensive puff of a fashion brand, which I could not afford for three years, as well as a tube of badger fat for a compress, and downloaded breathing exercises. Introduced morning and evening walks with the dog at 5000 steps and singing for any reason in her daily plans. So intuitively, I embarked on the path of recovery: I urgently needed to take a new outfit for a walk and sing a song at a friend’s party.

Tenderness I began to feel for my family members. We coped, we did not gnaw each other with complaints and discontent, we learned how to effectively distribute responsibilities. We treated each other with reverence, each did so that it would be easier for the other.

Confidencethat it was necessary to start a new project, which I had dreamed of for a long time, came precisely during an illness. As if something clicked in my head, and a clear plan of action appeared. Probably, the disease allowed me to slow down and think about what was missing in the usual rhythm of life.

Delight did not leave me throughout my illness. Especially for the selfless work of doctors in spite of everything – the dissatisfaction of patients, lack of time and opportunities. I came to the clinic and saw that the doctors were taking patients to the last; somehow I went into the office at 22:15, despite the fact that the clinic is open until 20:00. I also called a medical friend and she advised me, although she could no longer physically speak.

Love to yourself, to your body. Now I pampered not only my relatives, but also myself, like a little girl who wants sweets today, and tomorrow cutlets and an interesting book for the night. Perhaps this was the first time I experienced this feeling in full measure. Before the coronavirus, due to the eternal haste, I simply did not have time for myself, but then I learned to think about my desires and needs. I don’t know if it’s good or not, but I enjoyed it.

My illness has become a time of rethinking! 

Expert Opinion

– Stress (and the coronavirus, whatever one may say, is stress for all of us) develops in several stages. Anxiety stage, adaptation stage and exhaustion stage. It is impossible to live in stress and not depend on it. And fear is a normal reaction. Not only is the body under the influence of a viral load, but also a distress signal is sent to the brain (hypothalamus), which begins to release stress hormones. But first, let’s define the concepts. The virus is not a problem, it is a fact. Fact is something that we cannot influence. And the problem is what we can influence, what is in the zone of our influence. So how we respond to COVID-19 is our area of ​​responsibility. Press on a person – and you will find out what he is filled with. Emotion is the body’s reaction to any change in the internal / external environment. Therefore, it is always there.

There are 4 basic emotions (everything else is their variation): fear, anger, sadness и joy… How many of them are positive and how many are negative? It turns out that for one positive emotion, nature provides 3 negative ones. What does this mean? It is easier for the brain to be in negative emotions, it is less energy intensive for it. Therefore, it is easy to fall into anxiety and depression. For joy you need to try. Especially after the coronavirus. Don’t let negative emotions take over. Turn on your mind.

Ask yourself questions.

1. What happened to me?

2. What do I want to do in this situation?

3. What can I do and what can I influence?

4. How can I take care of myself?

Remember the announcement on the plane when you were told about the use of a mask in an emergency? “Put the mask on yourself and then on the child.” Now is the time to put on the mask. And I’m not talking so much about the mask as about love and self-care.

What can you influence and how do you take care of yourself?

• Listen to doctors, control those tests and take the drugs that are recommended for you.

• Learn to control your thoughts. Remember, the level of excitement is not always equal to the level of danger.

• Normalize your sleep.

• Adjust the power supply.

• Add physical activity, but wisely and in consultation with your doctor. Heroism and haste are not needed in this situation.

• Keep in touch with those who make you happy.

• Fill your life with the things that fill you up, not drain you. Dancing and singing is wonderful. As well as buying a new down jacket, which can please you.

• Learn basic body techniques (such as square breathing) to help you learn to manage your emotions.

• Start keeping a journal in which you write down the good things that happen to you every day.

• Love and be loved. This is something that will remain valuable at any time.