16 psychological tricks to please people

These techniques can be used to please new acquaintances, improve your position in a team, or strengthen existing relationships.

1. Copy the behavior

A few years ago, scientists from New York University conducted a study proving that the so-called “chameleon effect” really works. 72 people completed the task in pairs with strangers, half of whom, at the request of the researchers, copied the behavior of the subjects, and the other half did not. As a result, the participants in the experiment, whose behavior was “mirrored”, reported that they liked their partners and would like to continue communicating with them.

So, using his “signature” gestures and facial expressions in communication with the new boss, as well as repeating his posture, you can quickly achieve his location. The main thing is not to overdo it.

2. Try to get noticed more often

According to a study from the University of Pittsburgh, we are most like the people we see often, even if they don’t know us. As part of the experiment, four girls, unknown to other students, attended classes at the university. Two came often, two rarely. The students were then shown their photographs and asked to rate them. Those whom the subjects met regularly in class received higher scores.

3. Compliment

In The Happiness Project, lawyer Gretchen Rubin writes, “Everything you say about other people affects how others see you.” This scientifically proven phenomenon is called spontaneous transfer of qualities. Those around you associate the compliments you give to others with your own character. This phenomenon works and vice versa: if you constantly speak negatively about others, negative traits begin to be attributed to you.

4. Radiate positivity

According to Ohio University research, people unconsciously pick up on the emotions of those around them. In other words, the mood of the interlocutor is always transmitted to us. Do you want to make a good impression? Demonstrate a positive attitude.

5. Be friendly and competent

We like it when professionals are pleasant and open in communication. Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy argues that in business it is better to be friendly and open first, and then show competence in an important matter. Then people will first trust you, and then they will respect you. According to Amy Cuddy, “this is inherent in us since ancient times, when the most important thing for survival was to gain the trust of relatives.”

6. Don’t strive to be perfect.

Eliott Aranson of the University of Texas proved that our missteps improve the opinion of others about us, and ideal people scare with their unattainability. During the experiment, the students listened to the recording of the quiz. The participant who answered the questions correctly and accidentally spilled coffee at the end won more sympathy than the one who behaved flawlessly and did not make a single mistake.

7. Focus on common views

According to research by Theodore Newcomb, people find people who look like them more attractive. This is called the similarity attraction effect. We are pleased when someone shares our political views or musical taste. You are more likely to make friends with a person with whom you support the same football club. However, it is also noteworthy that, according to scientists at the University of Virginia, we like people more who, like us, have a sharply negative attitude towards something.

8. Accidentally touch

You need to be careful with this psychological trick: the touch should be light, unobtrusive and barely noticeable. It has been proven that it affects the interlocutor on a subconscious level and makes him feel warmth towards you. Scientists at the University of Mississippi found that waiters who touched restaurant customers in the process of serving received more tips.

9. Smile sincerely

Numerous studies have confirmed that smiling is disarming. On dating sites, people are more likely to view profiles with photos of smiling users. In addition, smiling at the first meeting helps a person remember you better.

10. Treat the person the way they want.

Everyone is pleased when their opinion of themselves coincides with the vision of others. Stanford University experts have conducted a series of experiments on this topic. Participants with adequate and low self-esteem interacted with strangers. The subject of the conversation was the personality of the subjects.

As a result, people with positive self-image expressed a desire to be friends with those who praised them. And participants with low self-esteem preferred critics. Scientists attribute this to the fact that we always want to receive predictable feedback.

11. Share a secret

The self-disclosure strategy is the simplest and most powerful relationship building technique. Of course, you do not need to immediately open your soul to a stranger. First, discuss the news, the latest movie releases, then tell something about yourself, and only then tell something personal. This will create a feeling of closeness, and it will be easier for the interlocutor to trust you in the future.

12. Let me tell you about myself

According to experiments at Harvard University, talking about ourselves brings us no less pleasure than food, money and sex. Let the interlocutor tell something about himself and use the tactics of active listening: nod, agree, specify the details. So he will have the most pleasant memories of the conversation.

13. Show that you can keep secrets.

If you have been entrusted with confidential information, keep your mouth shut. So you will be assigned the image of a reliable person. In today’s world, people value most of all those who can be relied on and trusted.

14. Show a sense of humor

According to numerous sociological surveys, most people note a sense of humor as a mandatory quality when looking for a partner or spouse. The main thing is to joke appropriately and not vulgarly.

15. Be open to communication

According to psychologist Jim Taylor, emotional openness can explain why a person looks attractive in the eyes of others. Of course, this behavior can be risky, because it makes us vulnerable: it is never clear whether the interlocutor can be trusted. But sometimes such a risk can be justified.

16. Pretend that you like the other person

When you think that a person is disposed towards you, you begin to like him. This is how the phenomenon of mutual sympathy works. Moreover, when we assume that a person should treat us well, we behave more openly towards him in advance. So we unconsciously increase the chances of making a favorable impression. If you are not sure how the other person feels about you, pretend that you like him. Maybe he will start to like you.