Contents
- 1. We waste money
- 2. Isolate ourselves
- 3. More often than usual? having sex with random partners
- 4. Putting Our Needs Last
- 5. Overeating or undereating
- 6. We allow “toxic” people into our lives
- 7. Taking Unnecessary Risks
- 8. We are specifically looking for something that worsens our mood.
- 9. Comb the skin
- 10. Refusing to go to the doctor
- 11. We destroy relationships that are important to us.
- 12. We abuse alcohol
- 13. Specially provoke allergies
- 14. Dressing for the wrong weather
- 15. Train to the point of exhaustion
Self-harm is commonly referred to as self-cutting or other physical injury. But this is far from the only type of aggression towards oneself. We may not be aware that loved ones are harming themselves in some area of life. The stories of ordinary people tell about self-destructive behavior, imperceptible to others.
Here’s what a woman who realized she was destroying herself with promiscuous relationships with casual partners says: “Self-harm is not always associated with physical pain. It’s as if we are always pulling a thread, starting to unravel ourselves at the seams. Unfortunately, this behavior only seems safe at first, but in the end it can lead to serious harm and even suicide attempts.”
We have collected 15 types of self-destructive behavior that is invisible to others.
1. We waste money
“I’m usually very frugal when I’m not depressed. But when another attack of melancholy attacks me, I start constantly buying something. Much of this has to do with self-esteem. It seems to me that if I have good things, I will start to love myself more. Partly trying to fill some void inside. When I finally realize that I threw a lot of money down the drain, the emotional state worsens. Then everything repeats itself, a vicious circle arises.
Filomena R.
Sometimes casual sex is just a very unhealthy way to deal with stress.
“I buy unnecessary things to fill the inner void. At the moment of purchase I am happy. But when the money runs out, or when I bring the purchases home and realize that I don’t need them, it becomes hard.”
Alisha A.
2. Isolate ourselves
“I isolate myself from the world, I sit at home all the time, even knowing that it would be useful for me to go somewhere and do something outside the house. I have health issues? and it seems to me that no one wants to endure inconvenience because of me. As a result, I only go to the supermarket for groceries. I am always alone or with children.
Susie J.
3. More often than usual? having sex with random partners
“I convinced myself that my hypersexuality meant that I myself controlled the body and accepted myself and my desires. In fact, sometimes casual sex is just an unhealthy way to deal with stress. After such connections, I feel spiritual emptiness, loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Clarice S.
“I donate a body just to have someone hug me for a few minutes. If (but rather when) then a man hurts me, I believe that I deserved such an attitude.
Missa D.
4. Putting Our Needs Last
“There is one kind of self-destructive behavior that people don’t think about, and that is neglecting one’s own needs for the sake of others. Let me give you an example: girlfriends like to chat late at night. And although I get up early in the morning, I still do not refuse to talk with them. I don’t want them to feel lonely. Or when I have to pay bills and my friends have their water turned off for non-payment and I help them and then I don’t know how to make ends meet.”
Esther P.
5. Overeating or undereating
“I have bouts of overeating. I stop being aware of what I’m eating and continue to overeat until I get sick, and then I hate myself for it.
Rebecca B.
6. We allow “toxic” people into our lives
“It seems to me that I am a bad person, so I punish myself by letting in those who treat me badly.”
Katie A.
7. Taking Unnecessary Risks
“Sometimes I take risks on purpose – I walk alone at night in disadvantaged areas, I put myself in situations that cause anxiety.”
Chloe L.
8. We are specifically looking for something that worsens our mood.
“I watch shows or movies that drain me emotionally. I search the Internet for depressive films or films about suicide to make myself worse.
Hannah D.
9. Comb the skin
“I comb my hands all the time, pull out my hair. When I told the psychologist, he did not take it seriously, said that this was not real self-harm, because there was no blood.
Alisha P.
10. Refusing to go to the doctor
“I avoid going to the doctor all the time, although I have a serious injury that can get worse without treatment. To be honest, I have unpleasant memories of dealing with doctors, so I try not to go to them.
Candace S.
“I don’t do anything. I cancel doctor appointments, don’t shower, skip medication because everything seems pointless. I isolate myself from everyone so as not to be a burden.
Autumn S.
11. We destroy relationships that are important to us.
“I hurt the people I love. I destroy relationships with them and life, because it seems to me that I do not deserve anything good.
Angela W.
“I push everyone away with unpredictable emotional outbursts. Am I very worried? sometimes on point, sometimes not. Something provokes me and I explode. Because of this, I lost friends and partners more than once. I had to quit my job. This is my form of self-destruction.”
Mande M.
Punishing myself with discomfort because I can’t afford to hurt myself more seriously.
“Recently I realized that I was trying to push my friends away. I say crazy things to scare them away. Until they left me, but I feel that our relationship is no longer the same as before.
Kate W.
12. We abuse alcohol
“Am I drinking too much alcohol? especially during depression. Alcohol improves mood for a short time. It’s easier to pretend to be happy for loved ones who care and worry.”
Liv W.
“I am “treated” with alcohol. The moment I get drunk, it doesn’t feel like self-destruction to me. I understand this only after a few days, when I again fall into the abyss of depression and realize what I have done.
Bethany M.
13. Specially provoke allergies
“I drink milk even though I’m allergic to it and I get really sick every time.”
Shiyan J.
14. Dressing for the wrong weather
“Sometimes in cold weather, I don’t dress warm enough on purpose. I tell myself that I will endure the cold. Or, conversely, during the heat I choose too warm outfits. When I’m hot, I feel like I’m locked up. I often get claustrophobia. And I punish myself with this discomfort, because I cannot afford to inflict more serious harm on myself, as I did before. And in the end, it’s still not enough. I try to resist the temptation to punish myself, I try to take care of myself. Sometimes all I can do is wash my face and comb my hair, but that’s at least something.”
Kamrin D.
15. Train to the point of exhaustion
“I work out too much in the gym. It seems to others that if you lead an active lifestyle, then everything is fine with you, but this is not always the case.
Candy J.
“I exercise too much. This is usually considered a healthy way to deal with stress, but I abuse it – I drive myself to injury and exhaustion.
Nika B.
Source: huffpost.com