Everyone has difficulties in communication: they don’t fully understand us, they don’t like us for something, they don’t perceive us the way we would like. But if you learn a few simple tricks, it will become much easier to avoid conflicts, make friends and win over others.
These techniques are so simple that it is even surprising why we rarely use them. And most of them require ordinary observation. Shall we try?
1. Pause
Even the closest people sometimes hesitate to tell us the truth or hide what is in their hearts. If this is important to you, ask a leading question, and shut up, looking the interlocutor in the eye. After a couple of seconds, he will not withstand the tension, he will try to defuse the situation and lay out everything as it is.
2. Yawn
You are literally drilled with eyes, only it is not possible to calculate the “spy”. The feeling is not pleasant, to be sure. Want to know who? Yawn! And take a quick look around. The one who is staring at you will certainly yawn. This is not a joke, yawning is very contagious! You can even check: just look at pictures of people yawning. Well, how?
3. Turn off the music in your head
A familiar melody has stuck in your head, but you can’t remember what the song is and where you heard it. You would be glad to get rid of it, but it sounds again and again! The more you try to get rid of it, the more it becomes attached and eventually occupies all thoughts. Don’t even try. This is how the Zeigarnik effect works, which consists in the fact that consciousness constantly returns to incomplete or interrupted actions. Try to remember the end of the song. Not the beginning, not the middle, just the last lines. Then the brain will reboot, and you can focus on more important activities.
4. Nod
Do you want people to support your idea? Nod until you’re done speaking. In this case, the interlocutors will unwittingly believe that you are right. They may not nod in response, but they will most likely agree. Just don’t overdo it, otherwise it won’t work.
5. Eliminate conflicts
If you come to a gala event and notice that one of the guests clearly does not like you, if possible, sit on a nearby chair. It’s easy enough to show dislike to someone sitting across from you. But everything becomes more complicated if a person is nearby. There are a lot of problems. First, you have to turn around all the time. Second, it’s not safe. Thirdly, closer relations inevitably develop between those sitting side by side: the rest will certainly notice the brewing conflict, and this is the risk of spoiling the holiday.
6. Pave the way
We’ve all been in a crowd more than once, and frankly, it’s annoying. People move randomly, or stand as if rooted to the spot. In short, there are too many of them, and you have to go through. What to do? Look in the right direction. Not on others, not under your feet, and even more so not on your phone. Look where you are going and they will begin to part in front of you. Why? The fact is that usually people look into each other’s eyes, and they will certainly notice where your eyes are directed. In this case, it will become clear to them what you want, and they will begin to make way for you.
7. Catch the words
When you’re talking to someone one-on-one and you want to make a good impression, try to catch what word is often heard in his speech. Whenever he says it, give positive reinforcement. Smile, nod, say yes – something like that. The interlocutor will certainly notice that he is being encouraged and will begin to repeat this word even more often. However, it all depends on how much you are interested in him. It’s definitely worth a try.
8. Listen and repeat
If a friend is actively talking about something, slightly paraphrase and repeat his statement. In this way, you make it clear that you are on the same wavelength and listen very carefully. However, know the measure. If you do this too often, the interlocutor will notice it.
9. Welcome warmly
If this is your first time shaking hands with someone, try to warm your hands. When they are warm, the acquaintance will be just as warm. Believe it or not, it helps to endear yourself. But cold hands produce the opposite impression.
10. Study eye color
As you know, it is important to maintain eye contact when talking, as it builds trust. However, many people admit that it is quite difficult not to look away, and it does not matter whether they are listening or talking. So, the next time you talk to someone, pay attention to the color of the eyes of the interlocutors. Then the awkwardness will disappear and eye contact will become natural.
11. Find “laugh friends”
Take a closer look at the laughing company: people exchange glances for a reason – everyone looks at the one who is closest to him. This is a great way to unmistakably guess who your office colleagues or your friends are especially fond of. Perhaps you should take a look at it?
12. Neutralize the haters
If you think someone doesn’t like you, ask them for a small favor. For example, borrow a pen. Someone who really doesn’t like you should say no, right? And here it is not. “Borrow a pen” is such a trifle that it’s simply ridiculous to refuse. But most importantly, after your small request is fulfilled, a miracle will happen. The “hater” will decide that it is quite possible to deal with you.
13. Forget about “scissors”
Perhaps you and your colleagues are reminded of the old Rock-Paper-Scissors game when you have to make a decision. For example, when you decide which of you will take on an unpleasant job. If yes, apply a simple psychological trick, thanks to which you will always win (or almost always). So, before starting the game, ask the main question. And immediately after that, say: “rock-paper-scissors.” Your opponent is most likely to choose scissors!
14. Swear softly
When your voice is raised at you, do your best to remain calm. Anger is often expressed by shouting, and from shouting you want to protect yourself. As a rule, people who are shouted at, rush to the counterattack, and then a disgusting scandal begins. But if you answer quietly and politely, the anger will quickly fade away. The one who broke loose will feel embarrassed, and most likely will be the first to ask for forgiveness.
15. Remember “daddy’s advice”
Do you want your words to sound convincing, and no one doubted them? Mention casually that your dad said so. Surprisingly, most people tend to trust the authority of the father figure.