As we get older, we increasingly notice that our habits and social circles are changing. If earlier we easily made new acquaintances and were ready to walk until the morning, now, having become more closed, we need solitude. This is normal – with age, many become introverts. Check if you have changed with our checklist.
According to psychologists, introversion or extroversion are innate qualities. But there are very few “pure” types in real life. We can be considered introverts and draw resources from within ourselves, but at the same time be friendly and able to establish contacts with others. And we can be born extroverts, but due to various circumstances become closed.
What many researchers agree on is that many of us become more extroverted at first as we get older. And there are reasons for that. Firstly, as we grow older, we mature internally – we accumulate life experience, we get to know ourselves and others better. We gain some self-sufficiency. We learn life lessons – sometimes painful ones. We learn to rely on ourselves.
Secondly, extroverted behavior in youth is due to our nature. At this age, the task of a representative of humanity as a biological species is to find a mate and give birth to offspring. And for some time we remain more open to communication and acquaintances.
But then, over the years, regardless of how personal life develops, nature “directs” our energy from the outer circle to the inner one, to the family. Even if our family is only ourselves and, say, a cat.
To experience excitement (this is not about sex, but about the rise of vital energy) and happiness, we no longer need to be at a noisy concert or at a party among many people. We learn self-regulation and understand the value of moments when we are left to our own devices. And irritants such as loud music, the hum of voices, the play of lights and many people quickly tire us.
Signs of “turning” into an introvert
1. The house in which you put things in order and comfort has become your “place of power”. Here you restore the supply of vital energy, and you are not bored alone with yourself. If you live with a family, then you need time and space for privacy in order to communicate further.
2. You’re at work and a friend texts you, offering to meet and chat. Most likely, you will reschedule the meeting and go to the family in the evening. Yes, you love your girlfriend, but you need to tune in to meet and talk with her. Therefore, you prefer to make plans in advance.
3. But you don’t always need pre-planned gatherings either. So, you can refuse the offer of colleagues for a drink on Friday evening. You have a wonderful team, but during the working week you get tired of communicating with colleagues, so you choose the company of friends, relatives or a quiet evening alone.
4. The upcoming appearance, at a party or a gala event, causes you more anxiety than joyful anticipation. You know that you will quickly tire of the sounds and flashing of faces and will look for an excuse to leave from there without offending anyone.
5. For the same reason, the arrival of guests is not the easiest event for you. And over the years, an internal “filter” is triggered – those people you want to see on your territory are becoming less and less.
6. A serious conversation with a friend is much more important for you than superficial chatter about anything. The older you are, the less interesting it is to communicate “in passing” – much more valuable than minutes spent in deep conversation with significant people.
7. Going on vacation, you prefer to go with a partner or alone, rather than a fun noisy company, as before.
8. You are much less likely to turn on the TV, radio, or music player in need of silence. You are especially tired of all these shows, news with their negative anguish and scandalous programs.
9. It’s getting harder for you to communicate with overly emotional people, especially if they are impatient “right now” to involve you in a stormy conversation. And God forbid, if they begin to tease you in a friendly way with questions: “Well, why are you so boiled?”
10. Flirting and the need to please the opposite sex are much lower than before. This does not mean that compliments and attention are unpleasant for you. It’s just that you are much more focused on yourself than on how others perceive you.
11. You still have friends, but you are much less likely to share details of your relationship with your loved one or relatives with them. And not because you don’t trust your surroundings – you just don’t feel the need to complain or, conversely, brag and get advice. To do this, you most likely have a psychotherapist.
12. Once in a new place, you will no longer, as before, first ask passers-by for directions. And the reason is not only that you use a smartphone with a navigator. You just got used to relying on yourself, and contact with strangers requires energy that you have learned to save.
13. In recent years, the circle of your communication has changed markedly. Toxic, envious, aggressive people and those who are called “energy vampires” are gradually disappearing from it. Talking to them can hurt you, and as you get older, you value your own time and mental strength to waste on those who devastate you.
14. Perhaps there are fewer people around you – with many who hung out with you 10, 15 years ago, you have long lost touch. But if life gives you interesting, congenial people, you appreciate such an acquaintance. And the ability to hear yourself helps you determine whether this person is “your” and whether you are ready to gradually make friends with him.