13 steps to become more confident

At any rate, business guru Becky Blalock, author of Dare: An Honest Talk About Confidence, Courage, and Careers for Women in Responsible Positions, is absolutely sure of it.

Of course, not everyone knows how to take responsibility, speak in public and lead a team. Shyness, modesty and caution are genetic in most of us. “It was easier for such people to survive in antiquity, and they were able to pass on their genes to more descendants,” Becky writes.

Fortunately, uncertainty can be overcome. And here’s what will help.

1. Control your thoughts

On average, each of us has 65 thoughts a day, but 000 to 85% of them are negative — fears and worries. “These are warning thoughts, they make us more cautious,” Blalock writes. — And we got them from our cave past. But today this survival mechanism works against us, as it forces us to focus on fears, not hopes or dreams.”

In other words, thinking all the time, “whatever happens,” you will not succeed. It is important to learn to restrain negative thoughts and fears. “You have to understand that these are just disturbing thoughts. They will not necessarily become a reality,” says Blalock.

2. Set a goal

When asked what they want to become or what they want to achieve, most will answer, “I don’t know.” This is an invalid setting. You always have to see what’s at the end. What are you doing everything for? What are you striving for? Realizing this is the key to success.

3. Start your day with gratitude

Every morning it is useful to remind yourself how many opportunities life gives us. “Many people on Earth are deprived of the most basic things,” says Blalock. “If you start the day with gratitude, then keep the right mood until the evening.”

4. Get out of your comfort zone.

A fun fact about your comfort zone is this: if you regularly step outside of it, it will expand. If not, it will shrink and very soon you will be trapped in your comfort zone. Do everything to get out of it.

You probably happened to do something scary, and then realize that you were afraid in vain. Here is an example Becky gives: “Once, during a visit to a military base, I was offered to jump from a parachute tower. I decided to try, but when they put a parachute on me, I realized that I could not step over fear. I told the military that I would not jump, because I have a small child at home. Then one of the guys just pushed me. And I am grateful to him. Unfortunately, there are not always people around who can push us, so you need to learn to do it yourself.

5. Remember: how many people — so many opinions

No matter what you do, there will always be someone who will criticize and scold you. Only those who do nothing do not hear remarks. However, not everyone is worth listening to.

6. Be Prepared for Failure

“It’s not failure that destroys our self-confidence, but the inability to get back on our feet after it,” the expert believes. Learn from failure and try again.

7. Find a mentor

Whatever you set out to do, chances are others have already done it before you and can offer helpful advice or be a role model. Find these people and learn from their experience.

8. Choose Your Environment Wisely

“Your worldview is the arithmetic mean of the worldviews of the five people with whom you communicate every day,” the author repeats the well-known saying. — Make sure you surround yourself with people who support you.

When I quit my job to write books, some were surprised and predicted that no one would read them. Of course, there were those who believed in me. I tried to meet them more often.”

9. Do your homework

In almost any situation, proper preparation helps to become more confident.

Coming up for a public performance? Rehearse the speech at home several times. Record on a tape recorder and listen. Is there an important meeting tomorrow? Find and study all available information about its members.

If you are prepared, then you know what to expect. And that inspires confidence.

10. Relax and exercise

Research confirms that good sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition have a significant impact on mood and productivity.

“Moderate sports activity three times a week for 20 minutes saturates brain cells with oxygen and helps prevent depression,” Blalock writes.

11. Breathe

Deep slow inhalations and exhalations help to cope with anxiety, anger, fatigue. In addition, by controlling the breath, we understand that we can control the body, which means we become more confident in our abilities.

12. Be willing to pretend

You can worry, not know something, or not be sure of your decision, but this should not be noticeable from the outside. Learn to look professional.

13. Feel free to ask for help

“Don’t assume people know what you need,” Blalock writes. Don’t wait to be offered help. So you’re just wasting time. Ask and you won’t be denied. People are flattered when they are asked for advice and support.”

And you will have the image of a wise person who knows how to work in a team and who, in turn, can be turned to for help.

About the Expert: Becky Blalock is a Managing Partner at Advisory Capital LLC and author of Dare: An Honest Talk About Confidence, Courage, and Career for Women in Responsible Positions.