The new school year has just begun. For many schoolchildren, this is a joyful event: they are already bored with summer. Others do not want to return to their studies and organized school life at all. But for some children, the thought of going back to school causes great fear because they know they will be bullied.
To help a child who has become a victim of bullying, it is important to notice the problem in time. If you’ve noticed any of the signs of a possible trouble at school listed below, it’s time to have a serious talk with him.
1. The child does not want to go to school. He may beg his parents to let him stay at home, exaggerate the symptoms of illness, or play truant.
2. He stops talking to his friends. The child becomes alienated, asocial.
3. His mood changes dramatically. If depression or anxiety begins to torment him for no apparent reason, this may be a sign of trouble, in particular school bullying.
4. He complains about his health. The child suffers from headaches, abdominal pains, his general state of health has worsened. Stress affects the physical condition of the body in children and adults.
5. He has trouble sleeping. The child has difficulty falling asleep or getting up in the morning, wets the bed, or has nightmares. It may be difficult for him to disconnect from difficult thoughts and experiences. Fear and depression keep me awake.
6. He comes home hungry. This could mean that he is being robbed of money for school lunches.
7. He avoids going to the toilet at school. In the toilet, the child is at a dead end, and there are no adults nearby who could come to the rescue. There he is often overtaken by offenders.
8. His things go missing or are broken. Look out for broken or missing toys, school supplies, cell phones. Those who bully a child often take away or damage his things, thus venting their aggression and trying to suppress the will of the victim.
9. Bruises and abrasions are visible on the child’s body. Even if he says that he just fell, beatings should not be ruled out.
10. Academic performance falls. Bullying makes it difficult to focus on your studies. He can skip classes to avoid meeting with offenders. And they can steal or tear his notebooks with homework.
11. He takes out his anger on his parents or siblings. If a child is mocked and bullied at school, he often begins to take out aggression on loved ones.
12. His interests on the Internet are changing. Sometimes children may close their phone or computer screen when you are around because they are ashamed of what others write about them online. Or the child may become obsessed with social media, trying to protect themselves from attacks or constantly checking to see if anything offensive has been written about them.
13. The child is in a hurry to go home. The child tries to return home after classes as soon as possible, fearing that offenders will be waiting for him near the school.
Unfortunately, there have always been those who love to bully others. As a parent, you can’t expect your child to be willing to speak frankly about what’s going on. It is possible that he is tormented by shame and it seems to him that he himself is to blame for what is happening.
Reassure the child by promising that you will not react inappropriately to his story.
By learning to notice the warning signs, you can promptly call him for a conversation. You can start with a simple question: “I don’t think you feel like going to school lately. Maybe something or someone there is bothering you?
You could share stories of being treated unfairly from your childhood: “When I was walking home from school, this guy was constantly running after me and throwing rocks at me. Maybe something like that happened to you too? Perhaps you have experienced bullying as an adult, for example, from colleagues at work, and you are well aware of the feeling of helplessness that a child experiences. Reassure him by promising that you will not react inappropriately to his story and get him into more trouble.
Most understand the fears of the child – they say, mom or dad will now become furious, run to complain to school, and because of this, I will look stupid and they will offend me even more. Many parents fear that their child will be bullied at school. We all want to protect our children, but in order to do this, we must be able to recognize the problem in time and find a way to gently and tactfully talk with the child about what is happening in his life.
About the Developer
Janice Harmon, family psychotherapist. Her .