Contents
It is generally accepted that we have sex for two reasons: for pleasure or for procreation. In fact, there are many more, and men and women have different motives for making love. Which?
For a long time, scientists were practically not interested in the reasons why we have sex. This is easy to explain: in addition to obtaining pleasure, the main purpose of sex was still considered the opportunity to have children. But in recent years, psychologists have conducted a lot of research and surveys, and based on them, at least four general groups of reasons that encourage us to have sex can be distinguished.
1. Physiological causes
- the desire to relieve tension;
- the opportunity to enjoy;
- sexual arousal caused by the sexual attractiveness of a potential partner;
- replenishment of sexual experience and improvement of the technique of making love.
- desire to possess the object of desire;
- hope for an increase in social status – directly or through stories about their sexual intimacy with someone;
- a thirst for revenge – when they enter into sexual relations with someone in order to hurt another;
- general utilitarian aspirations – situations where sex serves to obtain some advantage in a relationship or in life in general.
3. Reasons based on emotions
- confirmation of love and fidelity;
- expressing feelings for a partner.
4. Reasons for feeling safe
- increase self-esteem;
- the need to fulfill obligations/duties to a partner;
- protection of a partner from encroachments from the outside – simply put, “if I do not do this, there will certainly be someone else.”
“Male” and “female” motives
If we analyze the reasons that prompt us to have sex, we can more clearly assess our relationship with a partner. By the way, psychologists pay attention to a significant difference between the motivation to have sex in men and women.
So, men are much more likely to indicate as the main reasons from the first group – the physical attractiveness of the partner, the release of tension, the desire to gain new experience.
This is quite within the framework of modern ideas about male sexuality. But the fact that the reasons from the second group are also more popular among men than among women is rather contrary to stereotypes.
It is generally accepted that it is women who are more likely to have sex in order to achieve some specific goals.
In the fourth group of reasons, there is relative equality: safety issues become the motivation for having sex for approximately the same number of women and men. However, here, too, there is some preponderance among men.
And only in one and only third group, this preponderance is on the side of women. Women more often perceive sex as a confirmation of love and fidelity and as an opportunity to express their feelings for a loved one.
Of course, there are also completely individual reasons that are not included in the list. “I can’t refuse any girl, I’m afraid to offend, so it’s easier for me to sleep with her,” says 27-year-old Maxim. “Some of my friends will never say no to sex, too, if they get the chance. And they don’t need a reason to do so.”