Saying that is an easy way to make yourself hate. In general, this list can be guided as bad advice.
Once it was the norm to give birth at almost 16 years old, and now women give birth to their first child later. In Russia, the average age when a girl becomes a mother for the first time is over 24 years. In Europe, in some countries, it reaches 32. Therefore, if a girl gives birth at 20-22, she will inevitably surprise others. Young – really young mothers are bombarded with the same questions, which cannot but annoy.
1. You know that your figure will never be the same?
If you are talking about breasts, then yes, changes are inevitable, of course. And if about everything else, then this is still the grandmother said in two. There are so many examples around when even mothers with many children look much better than their nulliparous peers! Just look at Natalia Vodianova, Lena Perminova, Oksana Samoilova. You can say anything about them, but they are in great shape – you can’t argue with that.
2. Aren’t you too young for childbirth?
There is a clearly discernible implication in this question: you are still too young, stupid and naive. Don’t worry, I’m just young. Yes, I understand what responsibility is. Yes, sleepless nights scare me, but I can handle it. And yes, I believe that a young, but mature organism bears all the hardships of pregnancy much easier than a life-laden organism.
3. Did it happen by accident?
The question itself is as offensive as possible. First, it’s none of your business. Secondly, can you talk more politely about the unborn child? Calling a baby an accident is extremely disrespectful to, if not to him, then to his mother for sure. In addition, we repeat, this is none of your business. Only a gynecologist with professional questions can look into someone else’s bed.
4. You are still a child yourself
Well, yes, the older we get, the more extensible the age of “still a child” for us. Once it seemed to me that 30-year-old people are very old people, and a 40-year-old madame would easily call a 20-year-old girl a child. However, the reality is that in our country a person is considered an adult from the age of 18. He is legally and biologically mature and ready to make decisions about his future life. At least that’s how it should be. We cannot vouch for the community of infantiles.
5. I hope you had some fun before all this.
“All this” will not prevent me from having fun and enjoying life in all its manifestations. Perhaps there will be even more facets of pleasure. Children do not take our life away from us, but paint it.
6. Wow, but your girlfriends have no children yet – no one!
Someone has to be first. And it’s better that way, than then conversations will begin in the style of “everyone already has it, but what are you waiting for, the clock is ticking.” In addition, childless girlfriends are easier to ask for help. After all, they do not yet spend all their time on their own children.
7. I had to wait until you were firmly on your feet
As one friend of mine, a single mom who is raising two children, says, she would never have had so much strength, energy and motivation if it were not for her daughter. “Children give strength” is her favorite answer to the question of how she does much more than me. On the other hand, there is the story of a friend who turned 42 the other day, and now she is in a panic that she has already flown past motherhood. And all because “I will not give birth in a rented apartment.” End of quote.
8. Maybe at first it was worth traveling and seeing the world?
You know, when my child is 20, I will be 40. It seems that it is not a ruin yet, the age quite allows traveling, and quite actively. Considering that I am going to work, then I will definitely have more money than at 20. And money makes any trip many times more pleasant.
9. What about your career?
Firstly, the child is also on the list of my personal achievements, like my career. Secondly, his birth does not make me disabled. Yes, mothers with children are hired less willingly than childless ones. On the other hand, a trick in the form of a decree is also expected from the childless. So wherever you throw it – there is a wedge everywhere. The career isn’t going anywhere.
10. I hope you won’t go for the next one right away?
Oh, what do we have? And that’s none of your business. After all, no one really, except the parents themselves, cares how many children they will have and with what age difference. Well, seriously, this is nobody’s business. Maybe you should satisfy your idle interests in some other way?
11. What do your parents think about your early motherhood?
It is better to ask them about this themselves. Mom did not judge me. On the contrary, it supported. And she helped in a way that I could not even dream of. It is clear that everyone is different. But I have it like this, and thanks to my mom for that.
12. You didn’t have time to live for yourself
Believe it or not, life after childbirth does not end. You do not merge into one, you and your child are two different people. And at the age of 20, there is enough energy to find time for communication with friends, and for various interesting classes. In general, this funeral of oneself after childbirth is not a very clear phenomenon. Losing yourself in diapers is not at all necessary.
13. You probably miss the lightheartedness
A person always has worries, unless he is a vegetable. And raising a child even alone is not a problem for a normal mature adult. If he, again, is not a vegetable.