“Where were my eyes? How could I have chosen this person?” Have you ever asked yourself these questions? In order not to step on the same rake in a new relationship, it is useful to analyze your past experience. And also – keep in mind the main criteria that you should rely on when choosing a partner.
1. Laughter. Find someone who genuinely laughs at your jokes (hence having a similar sense of humor) and doesn’t take life too seriously. Believe me, shared laughter can be the best way out of many useless arguments.
2. Support. It’s not just about being behind a partner, like behind a stone wall – you must be sure that your loved one will not wash dirty linen in public and sort things out with you in public.
3. Attractiveness. Of course, this is not a guarantee of a long and happy relationship, and yet it is extremely important that the partner initially attracts you.
4. Communication. Look for someone with whom you can talk about everything in the world, and especially to discuss any “uncomfortable” feelings and any difficult situation. The one who will be honest with you, who will not betray.
5. Breadth of views. For a long-term relationship, it is extremely important that the partner does not judge others and does not rush to judgments at all, especially if you yourself are characterized by flexible thinking.
6. Availability. Look for someone who will be in touch with you – physical, intellectual and emotional. Such a person will not leave you guessing what he or she meant. You do not have to puzzle over what is still going on between you. Everything will be extremely transparent and understandable.
7. Interest. It is important that the partner is interested in what is happening in your life, but at the same time he should also have his own circle of interests.
8. Proximity. Sex, like appearance, is not everything, but a lot. Try to find someone with whom you match.
9. Constructive criticism. Your task is to find someone who will be able to give you honest but correct feedback so that you can grow and develop, and who will be ready to hear criticism in his address.
10. Acceptance. In a long-term relationship, it is extremely important that you and your partner accept and love each other for who you are, without hoping that the person next to you will one day change.
11. A sober perception of relationships and family life. It is important to understand: the “happily ever after” we know from fairy tales does not happen by itself. A happy life together requires work, and ideal “second halves” simply do not exist. Relationships are always a process, not a result, and perfection in it, most likely, cannot be achieved. You have to be ready for this.
12. Hugs. Look for someone whose hugs can brighten up the end of even the worst day, with whom you can find support and comfort.
13. Look. It happens like this: a person looks at you – and everything is clear without words: that he loves you, that he is on your side. This is what you should strive for.
Of course, even the compliance of a potential partner with all the criteria listed above is not a guarantee that the relationship with him will last a lifetime. People change and there’s no getting around that. What may seem attractive at first may later become the main cause of quarrels.
Your main task – requiring, however, a separate detailed conversation – is to establish relationships with yourself, because this is the person with whom you will spend your whole life. And if there is someone nearby who shares your desires, aspirations, views and plans for life – well, give him or her a chance and see where it leads.