11 Benefits of Introverted Children

Parents are trying with all their might to “fix” him, to make him sociable, cheerful, assertive. This is a big mistake, says psychotherapist Marty Laney, a leading introversion specialist in the United States. Marty Laney is an introvert herself, mother and grandmother of introverts. She knows how difficult it is for such people in the world of extroverts. But is it necessary to break the child, trying to remake it?

Marty Laney is convinced that this will bring nothing but suffering and feelings of inferiority to children. In his book My Child is an Introvert. How to identify hidden talents and prepare for life in society” (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014) she invites parents to think about the strengths of an introverted child and build on them in his upbringing.

1. Introverts have a rich inner life.

Introverted children are well aware that they have their own inner world. He has an extraordinary vivacity. Instead of looking to others, they rely on internal resources and are guided by their own ideas. Therefore, they are resistant to outside pressure and rarely succumb to herd mentality. They always want to get to the bottom of things.

Self-absorption is the source of their strength, but it can also lead to feelings of loneliness. They seek to know not only themselves, but also other people, to understand what drives them.

What to do: parents need to help little introverts learn to express thoughts, master the art of communication. Without contact with like-minded people — children or adults — introvert children begin to think that their experiences are completely alien and unfamiliar to others, that an insurmountable wall separates them from those around them. It is necessary to protect the inner world of a small introvert. Share your thoughts and feelings with him, ask what he thinks about them, but do not rush to answer, give him time to think.

2. An introvert can «smell roses»

In other words, introvert children know how to live and enjoy the present, appreciate the little things, the details that extroverts pass by without turning their heads. Often such children do not even need to leave the house to find an interesting activity. They enjoy the leisurely rhythm of life and attach great importance to simple pleasures.

What to do: don’t laugh at your little introvert’s ability to enjoy a leisurely stroll, building a tent out of a blanket, sitting at home coloring pictures. Find time, take a break from the hustle and bustle and share a moment of calm with your child. Our little introverts remind us that life is made up of just such moments.

3. Introverted kids love to learn.

They have a genuine thirst for knowledge, but it is often difficult for them to show it at school, surrounded by noisy, active classmates. It will be easier for them at the university: there the training system is more in line with the nature of the introvert. Many introverts write well, often keeping a diary in secret from others.

Usually they get great pleasure from reading. They like to read aloud to themselves or listen to someone read to them. They engage in an ongoing internal dialogue and constantly compare what they have learned with their own opinions and their reactions.

What to do: encourage and develop his interest in learning. Without a steady stream of information to stimulate thought, a child can become bored and even depressed. Enroll him in the library, take him there regularly, and take your time choosing books.

Discuss books and movies with him. Let him understand that this is not just entertainment, but a means of knowing the world around him and connecting with it. Help him find books and movies that suit his interests.

4. Introverts are capable of thinking outside the box.

Introverted children are good at problem solving. They usually listen and absorb all the information, think it over for a while, and finally give an unexpected, but usually reasonable answer. Children analyze circumstances in the context of their individual thinking, often coming up with fresh and original ideas.

What to do: Encourage your child’s creative thinking in every possible way. Ask for his opinion on various issues. Consult with him about the problems that you face yourself. If he’s in trouble, look for a creative way to a non-standard solution. For example, ask your child to draw a picture, write a story, a poem, a play, or a song about something that is bothering him. Let him see that the very process of creativity can lead to interesting results.

5. Introverts are creative

Creativity is a close relative of non-standard thinking. No wonder there are many writers, artists, dancers, actors, musicians among introverts. A creative person perceives the world as a huge mosaic. Putting its elements in his own way, he creates something new and unusual.

What to do: Encourage the creativity of your little introvert. Buy him paints, pencils, plasticine and do not be afraid of dirt. Let your child have musical instruments — do not be afraid of noise. Let the child fantasize — do not criticize him. Invite him to describe his most powerful creative experiences. Try to get him involved in dancing, singing, playing a musical instrument, or in amateur theatre. Take him to museums, concerts, plays, flea markets — let him observe as many ways of creative expression as possible.

6. Introverts are highly emotionally intelligent.

They are well aware of their feelings. But parents do not always understand this, since the emotional reactions of such children are late. When an event occurs, the introvert child outwardly seems calm, cold and even indecisive. In fact, he takes a break to deal with thoughts and feelings, to understand the essence of the event, to think and develop the necessary reaction, taking into account possible consequences.

Introverts develop early the ability to formulate moral judgments, they can be wise beyond their years. Understanding their feelings, they are usually capable of empathy.

What to do: appreciate their developed senses. Remember that the areas of the brain responsible for emotions are the last to form — communication skills are honed and polished over the years. If he asks about your feelings, answer honestly so as not to distort his perception. If he is kind and generous to others, praise him, let him understand that sympathy and compassion are a good trait.

7. Introverts are natural conversationalists

Yes, a child who is taciturn at school and at children’s parties can turn out to be a master of meaningful conversation. Introverts are born listeners. They are reliable and straightforward, they can be completely trusted. They ask important questions, do not interrupt the interlocutor, make insightful remarks, remember what was said to others, and understand hints perfectly.

What to do: Praise their ability to listen, ask questions, and keep the conversation going. Emphasize the difference between idle chatter and honest, frank conversation — the basis of true friendship. Help the little introvert find friends who can discuss important topics with him.

8. Introverts don’t get bored when they’re alone.

They love and value privacy. They don’t need to be active in order to feel busy. Introverted children have an amazing ability to concentrate and sometimes simply disconnect from the outside world, plunging headlong into some business.

What to do: let your little introvert learn that the ability to not get bored alone is an invaluable gift. Such a person is truly free, he does not depend on others. This is the foundation of many professions in which introverts can be successful. Teach your child to value and allocate free time. If he wants to be alone when there is fun around, calm him down and tell him that he can see his friends another time.

9. Introverts are modest

Many children today are involved in «vulgar competition» — in sports, in all kinds of television shows, beauty contests. This is due to parental vanity, the influence of television and show business. Introverted children do not participate in the struggle of ambition. They are not attracted by worldly fame and spotlights. They prefer the roles of spectators rather than actors. From excessive interest in their person, they may even experience physical discomfort. Although in a suitable environment and with the right mood, they are happy with someone else’s attention.

What to do: respect the little introvert’s reluctance to be the center of attention. You can remind him that there is nothing wrong with not wanting to flaunt yourself. But it should be remembered that such children also love it when they pay tribute to their achievements, especially when they themselves consider success deserved. But, paradoxically, modesty has a positive effect on their self-confidence.

10. Introverts tend to have healthy habits.

Extroverts are often unable to slow down the frantic pace of life and recuperate. Introverts don’t burn out as quickly because they prefer to take their time. This is one of the reasons for their longevity. Such character traits of introverts as reliability, consistency, perseverance, flexibility, honesty, lack of vanity, following the principle of “first think, then do” help them maintain health.

What to do: support the desire of a small introvert to follow healthy habits. Introverted children often go to bed early, and such sleep helps to recuperate. They willingly follow the rules of healthy eating, if they understand what their meaning is. Perhaps they want to eat more often, but little by little, in which case be flexible and go to meet them.

11. Introverts make friends

They are loyal, caring, compassionate, understanding. Excellent listeners. This makes them truly invaluable friends. It is not so easy for an introvert to get along with another person, but if this happens, the relationship will be strong and long. They are not prone to conflicts and rivalries that destroy children’s friendships. They have few friends, but the more they value them.