Contents
- 10 Tell the person a secret
- 9. Talk about relationships with mutual friends
- 8. Take a trip with this person
- 7. Pay attention to how the person communicates
- 6. Borrow or lend money to a person
- 5. Feel the boundaries
- 4. Notice the details
- 3. Pay attention to the attitude of the person to the service personnel
- 2. Evaluate a person’s behavior in a critical situation
- 1. Watch intonation and body language
Everything happens in life. No one will be surprised by stories about the betrayal of a close friend or relative, about the betrayal of a wife or husband.
But the person with whom a similar story happened is not ready for such a course of events. For a long time he cannot believe that this happened to him, and then he closes his heart from those around him. He doesn’t trust anyone anymore. It is increasingly difficult for him to communicate, make acquaintances, he is lonely.
It can happen to anyone. Even if it seems to you that you are well versed in people, you are not immune from betrayal or deceit. To prevent this from happening, you should be more attentive to your surroundings.
Below is a list of ways to help you understand what a person really is. Perhaps your new (or maybe old) friend is not at all who he claims to be.
10 Tell the person a secret
The easiest way to find out if you can trust a new acquaintance is to tell him a secret. Come up with a story and share your “experiences” with him.
If after a while there are rumors about you, you will immediately understand who initiated them. You will have to decide whether to continue communicating with this person.
There are people who don’t know how to keep their mouths shut. They can be good friends, help in a difficult situation, but you should not trust them with important information regarding your professional activities or personal life.
If the person is pleasant to you, continue to communicate, just remember that now you should keep your mouth shut.
9. Talk about relationships with mutual friends
Of course, not every person likes to gossip, but if you want to check a person, you have to. Talk about relationships with mutual friends or colleagues if you work together. Listen carefully to what the interlocutor will say about them.
Usually people notice in others those features that are inherent in themselves or cause a feeling of envy.
If he notices good-heartedness, politeness, emotional stability, it is possible that he has these qualities.
If your friend speaks badly of everyone, most likely he is jealous of them or belongs to the type of “eternally dissatisfied” people. It is very difficult to communicate with such a person. Be especially careful if he notes pretense for the sake of profit, sycophancy.
8. Take a trip with this person
If you’re good at communicating, there’s a more extreme way to find out what he really is. Go on a journey with him. The more time you spend with a person, the more you get to know him.
He will not be able to pretend around the clock and will definitely give himself away. There will be many opportunities along the way where you can check on your buddy.
If you do not trust him and understand that the person is behaving insincerely, it is better not to use this method. Trouble may happen, and your friend will not even lend you a helping hand.
7. Pay attention to how the person communicates
See how your friend behaves with other people. Does he have a large circle of friends or does he prefer loneliness? Easily converges with people or ignores any attempts to get closer?
It is not difficult to understand what kind of person is in front of you, you just have to watch him a little. Usually people whose characters are similar find it easier to find a common language.
If your friend or acquaintance is a closed person, likes to stay at home, and you are ready for change, adore adventures and “take everything from life”, you are unlikely to be able to make friends.
6. Borrow or lend money to a person
There is no simpler and more effective method to learn as much as possible about a person. Of course, it is better never to borrow from friends, but change your principles at least once. Moreover, someday you may need financial assistance. In this case, you will know if you can count on this person.
Ask for a loan. If a friend, without hesitation, lends you, then you can rely on him in difficult times. But do not use his kindness all the time and try to repay the debt as soon as possible.
When a friend has financial problems, offer to help them. Better let it be a small amount. If after the expiration of time he does not return the money to you, then you have an irresponsible person in front of you. It is better not to have any financial affairs with him.
5. Feel the boundaries
Each person has boundaries of what is permitted, beyond which he will never go. Or it will only come out in an emergency.
When a person tries to establish communication, he does not notice bad qualities, endows his friend or chosen one with virtues that he never had.
Take off your rose-colored glasses. Your business partner may seem pathologically honest, but what happens when he has the opportunity to profit at your expense? Will he trade good relationships for big money?
Also in relationships with the opposite sex. You cannot know for sure how sincere your partner’s feelings are. Maybe he is attracted to your connections or financial situation?
4. Notice the details
You can find out as much as possible about your friend without resorting to extreme methods. You just need to be careful.
When you spend a lot of time together, you see how a person behaves in everyday life, how he talks on the phone, how he treats animals, what dishes he prefers.
It is especially important if this person is of the opposite sex and you have certain views on him. If he can’t stand dogs, don’t expect that after the wedding you will be able to talk him into a cute puppy. If he orders the same dishes, then he is not inclined to experiment, is quite conservative and does not like changes in life.
3. Pay attention to the attitude of the person to the service personnel
If you often visit cafes and restaurants, shops, take a closer look at the behavior of your friend. Pay attention to how he treats waiters, sellers, administrators of fitness clubs.
If he does not allow himself too much, if he is polite, then the person is well-educated. He will never show his superiority and humiliate those who have not achieved a certain position in society.
If he can be rude, rude, then his parents raised him poorly. Perhaps a bad attitude towards the attendants is not the worst thing he can afford.
2. Evaluate a person’s behavior in a critical situation
Of course, you shouldn’t deliberately start a fire or an attack by bandits. If, nevertheless, a critical situation has occurred, look at how your friend behaves.
If in any other situation a person can be cunning, hide his true face, then at a critical moment he simply will not have time to put on a mask, he will not be up to it.
If your man runs away flashing his heels, leaving you in danger, it’s best to look for someone else.
If a friend helps you at the risk of his life, appreciate his attitude and never betray your friendship.
1. Watch intonation and body language
Pay attention to intonation and gestures. A person can lie masterfully, but his behavior will still differ from that of an honest person. There is a lot of information on the Internet about body language. Study it, it will definitely come in handy in your life.
There are several signs that will help recognize an insincere person: during a conversation, he abruptly changes the subject, makes excuses for no reason, tries to touch his face all the time.
Just do not overdo it, you should not look for the desire to deceive you in every person. If you pay too much attention to intonation and body language, and share your observations with loved ones, people will start to think that you are developing paranoia.