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Sometimes you don’t have to eat spaghetti with your hands, but just touch on one of these sensitive topics.
We are worried, nervous, thinking: how will everything go, but will he (she) like me? But often we spoil the first impression about ourselves. What phrases and topics should be avoided when meeting?
1. Being late (or arriving too early)
The easiest way to kill all budding romantic feelings is to have the person on the first date sit alone for half an hour or more, waiting for you. But don’t come too early. A date is not an interview with a big company. Therefore, arriving 15-20 minutes in advance, you will simply be nervous sitting in a restaurant alone. Leave yourself a margin of 3-5 minutes for which you can be late.
Surely you did it. Facebook feed (an extremist organization banned in Russia), Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) and Snapchat profiles, a Twitter story, and even found a younger sister of Vkontakte. This is the norm, now every person before the first meeting spends at least 10 minutes checking the name of the chosen one in the search engine. But you shouldn’t admit it. Telling your partner that he had a great haircut in 2011, or that she gave up baking cupcakes for nothing three years ago, will just make you look creepy. It is better to analyze the information you find (for example, about your favorite flowers) and make a pleasant surprise on the first date.
Hearing about other people’s romantic encounters is as boring as looking at an endless vacation photo album of distant relatives.
3. Talk about exes
And why? Former lovers are things of bygone years. Ruined trips, bad birthdays, ignored anniversaries, and other sins and missteps of an ex. Your partner will not only not be interested in listening to this, he can also draw certain conclusions about you. For example, after listening to a story about a terrible weekend in Paris, take your side. Your chosen one also does not want to listen about good moments. If you had such an idyll, why are you sitting at a table with another, having previously chatted on Tinder?
4. Talk about other dates
If there was an award for the most boring and inappropriate topics of conversation, then the monologue about bad dates would have the first prize. Hearing about other people’s romantic encounters is as boring as looking at an endless vacation photo album of distant relatives. Plus, such conversations are unlikely to serve you well. A disparaging story about «terrible» candidates can make you look bad. Can’t wait to share these stories with the world? Start a blog.
5. Talk about politics
Remember films where a man and a woman fight throughout the story, and then have passionate sex? Well, this only happens in movies. In reality, the debate on political topics is far from attractive. Most often it takes place in raised tones, with flushed faces. Besides, what are you trying to achieve by starting a conversation on this topic? Do you want to prove to the interlocutor that he should agree with your point of view? Or change his views on racism, sexism and religion? It should not be forgotten that the interlocutor can be well versed in these matters, so there is a chance that the argument will end before it starts. And will leave behind only an unpleasant aftertaste.
6. Make fun of other people’s tastes
We have favorite movies and music. And if someone says that the new album of your favorite singer is mediocre, and the series that we have watched seven times is terrible, we are offended. Or we feel out of place. Therefore, refrain from categorically assessing anything on a first date. Your partner may have very warm feelings for Madonna’s work, so in response to a categorical statement about her mediocrity, you risk getting a sharp answer.
The highest form of disrespect is to mutter without taking your eyes off the screen of your smartphone: “You speak, I listen”
7. Frankly bored
And, even worse, to show fake emotions. “You look nothing”, “Who would have thought!” or “Well, it’s necessary!” in response to each remark, they will only annoy the interlocutor. Don’t know what to say? Ask the chosen one about hobbies and hobbies. Not interested? Be quiet, smile and order more wine.
8. Look at the phone
In most cases, «Wait a minute, I have to answer this» means «I’d rather take the state exam at the university again than sit here with you.» The highest form of disrespect is to mutter without taking your eyes off the screen of your smartphone: “You speak, I am listening.” Why not have a gadget-free meeting and chat with each other live?
9. Get drunk
What could be more repulsive than the sight of a drunken, rambling man? Know your limit and don’t go over it. Intoxication comes imperceptibly — just a second ago you laughed at ease and joked wittily, and now you are trying to pronounce the name of the interlocutor. If you feel like another glass of wine would hurt you, stop and order some water.
10. Miss the chance
If we had the opportunity to take with us on the first date a person who would silently observe the meeting, and then communicate your compatibility and interest in each other, then how many problems would be solved. The most popular regrets after a date are laments about a missed chance. If you notice sincere interest, and also feel it yourself — do not wait and take the first step yourself.