10 Ways to Deal with Judgment and Criticism

“If you want to avoid criticism, do nothing”

Criticism can be different – constructive and destructive, motivating and demotivating, supportive and shattering, tactful and toxic. It is important to understand that meetings with criticism are inevitable, because the views and opinions, perceptions and perceptions of people differ.

Sometimes the factor of sympathy or antipathy also matters. Therefore, it is important to come to an agreement with yourself and understand: even if you do something outstanding, very valuable, do it with talent, from the heart, there will still be someone who does not like it. The one who condemns, devalues ​​and criticizes. This happens because some people tend to think that they know how to live, think, express or not express themselves.

Tolerance to criticism, the ability to perceive it, to cope with it, to distinguish constructive criticism from toxic ones are very important skills for life. At a time when one person perceives constructive comments, finds valuable points in them and uses them for his own good, the other will be offended and feel hurt.

A possible unpleasant side effect of such resentment is vital passivity. This phenomenon was well described by the philosopher Elkin Hubbard: “If you want to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nobody.”

If criticism is destructive, if its goal is to humiliate, “destroy”, “break” a person, shake his self-confidence, manipulate, feel superior, it is important to be able to respond to it.

Everyone does it differently: someone goes into conflict, someone tries to defend himself, justify himself, someone ignores unpleasant words. It is extremely important to be able to defend your boundaries in order to put the criticizing person in his place.

How to deal with criticism: 10 life hacks

1. Learn to recognize whether criticism is constructive or destructive. Consider what her purpose was. The person wanted to help you (for example, sometimes criticism helps to improve the quality of your work, “product”, to work out weaknesses, contributes to your development) or had another goal (for example, to assert yourself, humiliate you, put you in an awkward position).
2. If you feel like the criticism has been toxic, take it as a challenge. Consider that the critic is teaching you, in a peculiar way, to stand up for yourself, to stay true to yourself and resilient, no matter what.
3. Develop the ability to respond to criticism. Oftentimes, people experience confusion when faced with it. They don’t know how to answer, that’s why they are so afraid of other people’s assessments. But for the right comments, you can thank the person. And if they are erroneous, unfair, answer specifically, clearly, do not try to justify or defend yourself.
4. Don’t answer right away. Give yourself time to calm down and analyze.
5. Don’t get defensive when you are unfairly judged or criticized. This will only increase the attacks of the critic.
6. Argument. It is very important to have clear facts and arguments in order to adequately respond to criticism. Even if a person does this to help, it may turn out that some of his statements are useful, and some are not. Therefore, it is important to think about what to answer. Mark the points that have benefited you, give arguments against what does not suit you.
7. If you are afraid of criticism, it is useful to consult a psychologistto find the origins of this fear, deal with it and learn not to let it negatively affect your life.
8. Treat critical comments as feedback. Sometimes criticism is inevitable, for example, when defending theses, at exams, when discussing projects. And sometimes feedback, like advice, is not asked, but there are those who want to give it, and it may be inappropriate. In this case, you have every right to fight back.
9. You can ask for feedback yourself, it should come from competent people whose opinion is important to you. Such criticism can be of great benefit to you.
10. Remember your strengths. It is important to remember them when you are criticized. Yes, we always have something to work on. But there is something that we have already achieved, in which we are good.

Criticism in social networks and the Internet

When publishing something on the Internet and social networks, you need to understand: your text, video or photo can cause different reactions. Someone will just look and move on, someone will support, someone will give an assessment and criticize.

It is important to learn to trust yourself and not let anyone impose their opinion on you. If someone’s point of view does not coincide with yours and is perceived by you as criticism, a worthy response may be: “Thank you for your opinion.” You can add that you have your own view of the situation.

Don’t kid yourself: we can’t please everyone. The boundless love of others is a utopia, which is better to refuse. When engaging in a dialogue with a toxic critic, it is important to know that sometimes he is just waiting for this in order to pour even more poison on you in response.

Remember that comments on your posts can be written by completely inadequate people, “trolls”. And polemics with them can harm your emotional state. Why succumb to provocations and waste your energy on them?