Stress is a frequent companion of an entrepreneur at all stages of business development. Initially, it is associated with worries about the efficiency and profitability of a new business. Further – with concerns about contracts, delivery times, quality of service. Is stress really as bad as we used to think, and can we learn to think differently?
The media are telling us that stress is a detrimental business and must be fought at all costs. Remove, dissolve, remove, otherwise you won’t see a happy life.
Do I need to spend energy to fight him? After all, this is a normal reaction of the body, thanks to which we adapt to a changing reality, and within reasonable limits it is necessary and even useful.
True, it cannot be denied that a life of constant tension has a lot of side effects. Fatigue accumulates, a person ceases to notice the colors of life, a feeling of being driven out appears. Here, it’s not far from quite tangible physical illnesses: the head is splitting, the back is aching, something is wrong with the stomach, it stung in the heart. The destructiveness of stress depends on what we think about it. Kelly McGonigal, a professor at Stanford University, described an experiment that looked at how stress affects life expectancy.
High stress levels increase the risk of premature death by 43%
People were asked two questions:
• How much stress have they experienced in the last year?
• Do they think stress is bad for their health?
After 8 years, it turned out that high levels of stress increase the risk of premature death by 43%. But this is true only for those who consider stress dangerous. Everything depends on thoughts.
What habits of thought drive entrepreneurs into stress?
Anti-stress program: 10 ways to think differently
We are all used to thinking in algorithms in certain situations. And our productivity depends on it. If you learn to track and “intercept” negative thinking habits, there is every chance of turning stress into an ally. And here are 10 ways you can do it.
1. Anti-filtration
Negative filtering is focusing only on the negative side of a situation. It is like black glasses through which a person looks at life. For example, during negotiations, an entrepreneur signed a contract, but faced a dissatisfied remark from the customer. And then, remembering the events of the day, he does not seem to notice the good that happened, but focuses only on criticism addressed to him.
The brain is so arranged that we remember negative events longer and in great detail. This negative thinking has developed through evolution, when the threat lay in wait from different sides, forcing us to be in constant tension. Ancient times have passed, but the habit remains.
People who keep a positivity diary are 10% happier
Practicing mindfulness (or mindfulness) will help you develop a new skill of positive thinking. To do this, just keep a diary, you can use a work diary. At the end of the day, write down three positive things that happened that day. According to a study by Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, people who keep a positive journal become 10% happier.
2. Antipolarization
We often get used to thinking in opposite categories: black and white, good and bad. And the entrepreneur, falling into the trap of his own perfectionism, tries to do everything for 5, and if it didn’t work out for 5, then this is automatically bad. As if there are only extremes in the world and there are no halftones. Such thinking greatly limits the possibilities and contributes to the growth of internal tension. After all, to be the best, you must constantly keep the brand, do everything perfectly, not make mistakes. Which is basically unbelievable.
What to do if you notice such a habit? Stop rushing to extremes, assessing the situation, and try to gradually lower the bar of perfectionism. Ask yourself a simple question: “What percentage is bad or good?” Better let something be done not perfectly, but still it will be done. This is already a result.
3. Anti-catastrophe
Catastrophization is such a habit of thinking, when a person all the time expects and imagines an impending disaster. What if there is a production failure? What if the goods do not arrive in time? And when the phone rings, the person shudders, and the imagination is already drawing the most dramatic scenario. As a result, the entrepreneur always expects the worst. In this state, it is very difficult to create something and act productively.
To change thinking, it is important to learn to soberly and unbiasedly determine the likelihood of an event. Can this really happen to me? If so, then instead of worrying, it is better to take timely measures. If not, then why bother?
Another especially disturbing thing is to bring your own fear of a catastrophe to the point of absurdity and ask 5 times one simple question: “What is so terrible about this?” Most often, a person sobers up by walking along this chain to the end.
4. Dealing with control errors
The issue of control over the situation is key for many. If it seems to us that someone from outside controls us, we perceive ourselves as a helpless creature, a victim of evil fate. For example, if a senior partner has not fulfilled an obligation, I am also not responsible for anything, it is not my fault. So it is, but the situation is not solved from this.
There are also errors associated with internal control. A person takes responsibility for everything good and bad that happens to him, business, partners, suppliers, customers, the situation in the country. There are times when an entrepreneur reproaches himself for a failed deal, because he acted in a wrong way, forgetting to take into account that the purchasing situation has changed.
Mistakes or failures are an inevitable part of life. Everyone is wrong. Try to find a middle ground between hyper-responsibility on the verge of self-flagellation and another pole – spinelessness and the position of the victim, on which nothing depends. And then just act.
5. Dealing with equity errors
A heightened sense of justice is another tendency that can be harmful. If we are convinced that we live in an absolutely just world, over and over again we fall into the accusations of those who, in our understanding, are “extreme”, “deserved” this or that situation, who are to blame for our failure.
Use the feeling of injustice as a point of growth for your own business
The same applies to self-accusation: I deserved punishment, because I overlooked it here, I didn’t finish it there. The most common question people hear from entrepreneurs is: Why is the world so unfair to me? What have I done wrong? Why am I worse than Peter? Why does a customer buy from him and not from me?
Instead of feeling offended at an unfair world, you should take and do the same, or even better, than Peter did for clients. Do not get offended, do not self-flagellate, but use the feeling of injustice as a point of growth for your own business. Just take and do.
6. “How it should be”
We love to drive ourselves into debt, make excessive demands on ourselves, others, and the world as a whole. “I must be a good leader”, “Business must bring 3 million rubles a month”, “Close and the team must approve me”, “Everything should be the way I want”. And this, on the one hand, pushes the entrepreneur forward towards the set goals, and on the other hand, makes him a hostage to his own high expectations.
In life, as in business, there is no absolute 100% hit in all the “shoulds”. How not to despair yourself, if something went wrong, not to eat everyone around, who also “should have”? The recipe is simple: to admit the possibility of your own and others’ mistakes, to recognize that other people are also unique and can live according to their own scenarios.
7. Dealing with change errors
A business can be improved by changing employees, partners, customers, whatever. We often unreasonably expect that another person – a business partner, employee, spouse – can change and begin to more effectively meet our expectations. We want to change others, because our profit and a happy life depend on these changes.
As soon as this thought has visited you, ask the question: how can I change myself? Simple and effective – start with yourself. Accepting the uniqueness of each person, including your own, move at a comfortable pace, grow your business. People who will be on a par or ahead will be useful, those who will lag behind are not needed. They have their own pace, and this must be respected.
8. “I’m always right”
A common pattern of behavior is the desire to prove that our actions and opinions are always correct. Adherents of this model are ready to go to any lengths to show that they are right. “This business will be successful no matter what, we need to invest a little more effort and money.” I saw a large number of entrepreneurs who could not believe that they made a mistake, that it was time to close the business. Despite the objective indicators of failure, they still continued to invest money, selling everything that was at that time in the family, just not to admit that they were mistaken.
What to do? Allow yourself and others to make mistakes. After all, it is easier to admit a mistake, move on and maintain relationships with loved ones than continue to invest in a dying project.
9. Refusal to expect rewards from above
An entrepreneur, especially if this is his first business, gives his all to the cause. Works on self-denial and self-sacrifice, assuming that someday the business will earn itself and the efforts will pay off. This would not make sense if we did not come up with our own terms for receiving such an “award”.
In every situation, we decide how to react and what to experience.
I met situations when an entrepreneur had to work intensively not for a year, two, but for five years. If at the same time he does not sleep, does not restore strength and put his whole life on the line, then in case of failure, a drama or even a prolonged depression occurs. How to avoid disappointment? Live in action, not in waiting. Calculate strength not for a sprint, but for a marathon. Build your own reward and reward system that works on a daily/weekly basis.
10. Reasonable concern for others
And here, too, there can be two extremes. We either forget about others, focusing on ourselves and becoming callous, or go headlong into hyper-concern, feeling responsible for the thoughts and actions of others (for example, the team), their choices and well-being. Everyone suffers from this behavior.
How to avoid the associated stress? Find a balance: be caring, but also interested in the opinions of others and let them live their lives. Perhaps it will be volunteering or charity. See what is closest to you and your business.
As you can see, no matter what happens, we can fall into stress or not. Life becomes much more interesting if you learn: in each situation, we decide how to react and what to experience.