I’m cold, I have too much work, I’m tired, I’m fed up… We complain about everything and nothing, sometimes without even realizing it. Want to see the glass half full? Here are our tips for getting there.

For some people, complaining is a way of life, they don’t even realize they are doing it. Quite naturally, they have developed this bad habit of complaining about their boss, their work, their schedules, their fatigue or the weather to those around them.

The first step to starting complaining no longer is to be aware of how many times you complain in a day. You can write this down in a notebook each time you complain. The results can be surprising!

Psychologist Robin Kowalski has defined the top 5 reasons for complaining:

1/ Receive attention: we complain to attract the attention of others

2/ Hide responsibility: we accuse someone else, a company, an institution or a concept to justify its inaction or to clear its way.

3/ Generate envy: driven by the desire to be appreciated, we complain about someone to highlight our qualities.

4/ Feeding its power: one secures one’s place as leader by finding allies in the face of a common enemy.

5/ Excuse a poor performance: one complains to explain his failure, one finds extenuating circumstances.

Understanding the underlying reasons for our complaints is an essential step to stop complaining.

To do this, whenever you feel like complaining, try to coat that complaint with positive things. For example, if you complain that you are tired, think about and try to express the positive side of this fatigue: maybe it is because you had a great evening with friends or because you get up very early for a job you are passionate about.

It is very difficult to stop complaining and criticizing everything when you are surrounded by negative people. Sort out your relationships. Don’t spend your days with people who spend their time complaining.

Instead, surround yourself with people who have a positive attitude and energy, and try to put yourself in their head when you feel like complaining: how would they have reacted in my place? Optimists, like pessimists, are contagious.

Striving to notice, and even better, to write down all the things for which you are grateful is a quick and easy exercise with spectacular results!

Take a notebook and write down at least 3 reasons you have to be grateful every day: you train your brain to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

What if we spent our energy doing things rather than complaining about having to do them? Instead of letting a problem drain your energy and occupy too much of your head and complain about it over and over, it’s better to act and deal with it quickly.

If you have the unfortunate tendency to complain about someone to a third party, it may be because you are frustrated at not addressing the person concerned. Be sure to formulate your complaints to the right person: identify your real need and express it without complaining.

To stop complaining, you have to admit that you can’t always make a difference.

Accept that there are certain situations, people, or events over which you cannot have control. It will allow you to let go, to accept things as they are and as they come.

Instead of complaining about failure, it is better to question yourself. Failure is formative and is not inevitable. To learn from your mistakes, you need to understand what went wrong in order to learn from those mistakes.

People who complain a lot often tend to focus on the past. But we cannot change the past! Here and now, there are solutions to get better, to do things differently, to feel good. Don’t keep complaining about what happened to you, take a generous attitude towards things and celebrate the positive events that are happening to you now.