How to spice up your relationship when you go on vacation with the children?
Sea, sex and sun… here is the dream cocktail of the holidays. But when you leave with the children, between family excursions, fatigue linked to the heat, crises of the youngest child or the restless sleep of toddlers due to changes in the environment … this program often falls apart. Yes, if the hormones are initially boiling, the libido can quickly plummet. This is indeed the great paradox of vacations… with children. How to spice up your relationship despite everything? Our advice to free you up time with your loved one and offer you a trip… to seventh heaven!
1- Plan separate spaces
This is the essential point of the vacation, which parents do not necessarily think about when booking. Indeed, for the sake of economy, the latter often opt for small surfaces. However, to maintain the couple’s privacy, “it is important to provide a separation between the space of adults and that of children. This must be part of the priorities of both spouses, ”explains Dr. Mimoun. Likewise, if you go camping and your toddlers are big enough, take a tent for them, and another for you.
2- Take the time to look at yourself and touch yourself
During the holidays, it is important to reinvent your sexuality. And every intention counts! “Looking at each other again and touching each other allows you to rediscover a bond. Parents can share beauty rituals: take turns passing sunscreen, combing each other’s hair. You have to take advantage of the extension of time to allow yourself to do things that you don’t usually do, ”explains Nathalie Giraud. Parents can also choose together at the supermarket, their shower gel, their toilet cream. One way to prepare for their naughty date in the shower.
Also, if the children are not too far away, “get into the spoon position, without necessarily having sex. Then breathe together, synchronously. Your bodies, in osmosis, will release oxytocin, which will give you a feeling of calm, ”indicates the sex therapist.
3- Take a romantic showers
After you’ve been sweating all day, find yourself in the shower. “The bathroom allows the couple to be together in a locked place,” explains Nathalie Giraud. And it offers many advantages: you can mask the noises with the water but also make love on the ground and put towels on the tiles if it is too cold. Be careful not to slip!
4- Send the children to a nap!
“During school period, children don’t really like going to naps, but during the holidays, they enjoy it. This is the perfect time for them to rest after having had their fill of activities in the morning. For their part, parents can meet in their room, or their closed space, for a cuddly break, ”says Nathalie Giraud. This allows you to get out of the routine: parents meet horizontally in the afternoon, in the twilight, and not in the evening. “It is a moment outside of time, a parenthesis since we know that we will wake up next”. The sex therapist’s advice: put yourself in a spoon position and take the time to communicate in a low voice… ”.
5- Keep the children … without feeling guilty
If you are going with the family, do not hesitate to have your children look after your relatives. For those who stay in a hotel or on a campsite, be aware that establishments often set up babysitting services. If you have chosen a campsite or a holiday club, do not hesitate to register your children from time to time for the workshops offered by the structure, for the day. Some entertainment even takes place in the evening. What to leave you time in love. But, “to fully benefit from each other, it is important not to feel guilty about leaving your child,” explains Dr. Mimoun. As Nathalie Giraud emphasizes, “parents must rethink time in a qualitative and not a quantitative way. Moreover, the children are also very happy to see that the couple flourishes outside of them. “Clearly, there is no point in staying glued to your toddlers all the time, the important thing is to have a good time with them. Not to mention that they will be delighted to meet other friends at the baby club.
6- If you don’t have a nanny, keep the children busy!
The holidays are an opportunity to discover new activities (collecting seashells on the beach, picking flowers, etc.). Once back at the hotel, offer the children a coloring or collage workshop. It will excite them and give you a few minutes of respite. And then, a DVD of their favorite cartoon, once like that, it doesn’t hurt! Which will leave you an hour and a half ahead of you …
7- Explore romantic and atypical places
Seaside, waterfall, field of poppies, sand dune… on vacation, there is no shortage of heavenly places to make love. Explore new horizons, far from the everyday decor. If you go with friends or relatives, they can watch your children. You can then try a midnight swim or love at sunrise! Good and beautiful memories in perspective!
8- Keep fit for… your spouse!
When we travel, we tend to increase the number of visits and activities, especially when we have children. “Some also say to themselves that it is the moment to catch up with all the sport that they have not done during the year”, explains Doctor Mimoun. However, the ideal is not to do too many activities if you want to be in good shape for your partner. “There is no point in setting several goals, at the risk of expecting too much and not achieving our objectives. “Above all, you have to think about finding yourself,” he says.
9- Be playful and sensual
In everyday life, but especially on vacation, anything can be a pretext for playing. You have to take the time to look at yourself but also to look around you. “Everything can take on another dimension: the ice cream that we eat while looking at our partner in a subjective way, even during a family walk. The mother suddenly becomes a lover in the eyes of her husband. You can also eat a peach and discreetly ask your companion to lick your fingers, ”says Nathalie Giraud. At restaurants for example, even with children, stroke your companion with your foot. “In summer, with sandals and bare feet, this type of game under the table is even easier,” explains the specialist. So do yourself a favor!
10-Learn about “quick sex”!
Free yourself ! Sun requires, in summer, we dress more lightly. To excite your partner, “dare not to put on panties or take off an item of clothing that you usually wear”, advises the sex therapist. A kind of quick hug inducement. And then, on vacation, we rarely have a lot of free time without the kids. It’s a way of reinventing your sexuality during the summer.