10 tips to keep your child clean at the start of the school year

Getting clean before entering school

Having acquired cleanliness is a prerequisite for entering kindergarten. Rest assured: in the first weeks, there will inevitably be a few small “accidents”, most often well tolerated by the educational teams, who are used to them. 

First of all, we are not forcing. The acquisition of cleanliness is a major point in the development of the child, but each of them will carry it out at their own pace. And don’t despair if a few weeks before the start of the school year, your child is still not clean. This acquisition can be very rapid, especially in the summer, when the parents are more available. In addition, the summer temperatures make wearing diapers more uncomfortable: your child will certainly be more comfortable without his diaper.

What to remember: always respect the rhythm of your child. Here are some practical tips. 

1. Look for the signs that show it is ready

The majority of children control their bladder and sphincters between 24 and 48 months naturally. Eight out of ten children get clean spontaneously, girls generally earlier than boys. Before you start, make sure your child is physiologically ready, has good motor coordination, and is able to control their sphincters. To become clean, he must know how to walk for a few months. A voluntary and autonomous walk that has nothing to do with hesitant first steps. He also knows how to sit, stand up straight, stay stable and stand up alone when he sits down.. He goes up and down the stairs alone. He says pee or poo, pointing to the potty or the toilet. He can go two hours in a row without wetting his diaper. If so, point it out, “I see your diaper is dry. Do you want me to buy you panties or briefs? “. He can hold back for a while when he feels the urge to come. He scribbles on a piece of paper, which is a sign of good fine motor skills. He hates that his diaper is dirty and asks you to change him when it is. He is able to clearly say whether he is hungry or thirsty, proof that he knows how to interpret and verbalize the messages his body sends him. He “visits” your washroom with an interest in it. He imitates the greatest and manifests an increasingly assertive desire for independence.

2. Wait for the right time

Accepting to become clean is accepting to obey your parents and adopt the rules of life in society.. A child in the midst of a period of opposition (18-24 months) is not ready, so it is better to wait until he has passed the phase of systematic opposition. If he says no to everything because he is in this period when he affirms himself by the “no”, he will refuse to give up diapers on principle. The conflict will crystallize around cleanliness, whereas if you try again 15 days-1 month later, it will happen on its own. If you force yourself before he has the physical and psychological maturity, he risks locking himself into a stubborn refusal and you will then take much longer to obtain a result.

3. Motivate him to take the plunge

To prepare him psychologically, read him stories on the subject, in small doses. Above all, don’t make it a fixation. Encourage him to let you know when he has the urge to urinate or defecate, but let him verbalize himself, his body and what is going on inside is his own. Don’t bother him with “Do you want to pee? Do you want to poop in your pot? ”… To make him want to be clean as quickly as possible, make him understand that it is in his best interest, that wet and dirty diapers are not pleasant, that he is now one of the big boys, with all the advantages in terms of freedom that this represents. To help him make progress, talk to the people who take care of him – nanny, grannies – to synchronize efforts and different ways of doing things.

4. Take it gradually

Getting clean is done step by step. The first is the nap without a diaper. Offer the potty before the nap and put him in his diaper after. If it stays dry two or three times in a row, you can try a nap without a diaper. Then gradually lengthen the diaper-free time slots throughout the day. To make the transition, buy her elastic waist diapers, that are used as panties and that they can remove or put back on their own. If there isn’t too much of an accident, if he uses his potty correctly for at least a week, you can switch to panties or underpants. Children who are clean during the day continue to sleep in diapers at night for another three to six months. You can start removing her diaper at night if it is dry every morning for a week. Put on a draw sheet to protect the mattress from small incidents that are always possible. Up to 5 years, it is normal for this to happen!

5. Offer him a pot rather than a reducer

The potty is easier to use to start toilet training because the child feels safer and more stable in it, and can thus adopt the best biomechanical posture. From 20 months, you can put a jar at his disposal to familiarize him. Initially, he can sit on it, keeping his diaper on to “play” to do in his potty. Then he can sit there once the soiled diaper has been removed; place the wet diaper in the jar so that he understands what it is for. Learn to recognize the behavioral cues that mean your child is about to pee or poop, and invite them to go on their potty. Put him in the toilet so he can understand the place and what to do there. Avoid the duck-head or musical pot, it must remain a functional object, not a toy. Prefer “three in one” jars, with a glass and a small container that can be emptied. Do not let him play on his potty, otherwise he will no longer understand what the object is for, and make toilet paper available so that he learns to wipe himself. You encourage him to grow up, it’s up to him to manage the operations from start to finish, even if hygiene is not quite the point. Again, be patient, it takes time to integrate these new habits.

6. Do not impose fixed hours

The acquisition of cleanliness should never be felt as a constraint or a balance of power, it’s up to your child to feel when he wants to or not. However, when he embarks on the “active” acquisition phase, you can offer him regular appointments. For example, after a meal, before or after a nap, before going to bed…, but without imposing it. If he gets up immediately without result, do not insist, it is because he is not yet ready.

7. Take the inevitable little accidents with serenity

Once you’ve made the decision to skip diapers, stick with it. Corn the acquisition of cleanliness does not happen overnight, and we must accept without scolding the small accidents and leaks that do not fail to occur. Shaming her may block your child and trigger episodes of acute constipation. Moreover, he would imagine that you only like him on condition, when he manages to pee or poop in the pot. And don’t put on a diaper on certain occasions that you feel are “at risk”. For example, during a long car trip or for convenience when sleeping with other people. He wouldn’t understand if you were forcing him when he knows he doesn’t need it anymore. He may then go back …

8. When he’s in his potty, encourage him, but don’t overdo it …

With each new small improvement, congratulate him, but not too much either! That’s no feat, and if the whole family cries out for wonder, he might think he’s getting clean to please his parents and not because he’s growing up. Just say, “I’m happy for you and proud to see you’ve grown up.” To counterbalance the privileged and tender moments of the exchange which disappear, it is good to add some hugs and kind words, but no need to give him gifts. Certainly it makes you happy, but beware of emotional blackmail. If he has become clean, it is because he has the skills, not to please others.

9. Don’t put the pressure on

Potty training is most natural in the world from 24-30 months. There is no reason for this to turn into an obsession. Avoid comparisons with the big brother or cousin who were clean earlier. Don’t force yourself, don’t tell him: “I decided to take your diapers off because you’re grown up and you’re going to go back to school soon!” Your child needs to hear, “I think you are ready to pee and poop in your potty.” I trust you, you will get there. If you agree, I’ll take your diaper off. “

10. If he’s reluctant, take a break

If your child has trouble letting go of his diapers, it’s probably because he doesn’t quite want to grow up., that he is not ready to let go of anything from infancy. Listen to him. Small leaks are normal, but if the accidents multiply soon after you start wearing panties, give her a diaper, without shame or punishment. Take a break for one to three months, and don’t bring it up anymore. Potty training is built on trust and collaboration. Some get clean overnight, day or night, others keep their diapers at night for up to 4 or 5 years. Each person at his own pace !