If you want to quarrel with a friend who has a child, take it into service. A couple of remarks, and your number will be deleted from the phone book forever.
The look “fu, how can you behave like that, a completely ill-bred child”, the clatter of the tongue – every mother faced such manifestations of “friendliness”. Except perhaps those who do not leave the house at all. Never. What to do, babies don’t always act like the little angels in diaper ads. And as soon as the baby does something socially condemned, there is always some individual nearby who is eager to give advice on education. And it doesn’t matter that she herself has no children and will not have. Lack of personal experience has not prevented anyone from judging others.
We have collected the 10 most , for which it is just right to introduce a fine.
1. “Don’t ignore him!”
Sometimes just not paying attention to the tantrum is the only way you can cope with the beginning tantrum. They pretended that the child did not exist, and he magically calmed down. But the slightest sign of attention – positive, negative, angry, compassionate, authoritarian, with a tinge of despair – and just a whim turns into a real show of a little hysterics. Perhaps this method is not very pedagogical. But it works.
2. “Do not follow his lead”
Since you are all so smart, why don’t you march in formation? In fact, many counselors believe that a child can only be influenced by severity. Yes, sometimes it works: a raging child sees his mother’s furious face, realizes that she is about to explode and that he will be at the epicenter of the explosion, and calms down. But sometimes children get hysterical just because they are sure that this is the only way to be heard. In this case, the only way to calm the child is to hear him.
“When my son had a tantrum, I asked why he was so upset, who offended him. He was not yet wound up enough to hear nothing but himself, and answered. I sympathized with him. She said that I understand his emotions. She said that in his place she would have behaved the same way. And that was enough for him to calm down, ”the mother of four-year-old Artyom told about her experience.
Incidentally, this tactic teaches the child to express their emotions and deal with them. Develops his emotional intelligence.
3. “Let him know who is in charge here.”
Oh, really. How could I not think? Thank you so much for this extremely helpful advice, Captain Obvious! Seriously, comrades. It’s like saying to a hungry man: “Do you know what you want? You need to eat! “
4. “Just smack him.”
Yes, sometimes your hands itch to slap a good slap on the head of a fumes screaming in the middle of the store. And you literally have to keep those same hands behind your back. Because any parent who has ever faced a similar situation knows that if you give a screaming child a spanking, the op will only get stronger. Physical violence will not manage a stressful situation.
5. “Do you know what I would do?”
Oh yes, come on, have fun. Share your wisdom with me! After all, you are just a torch of pedagogical thought! You know much better how to deal with my child much better than I do. After all, it is you who have lived side by side with him for the last two hundred years. How, is this the first time you see him? Do you have no children at all? Then tell me more about parenting. I am ready to listen to you day and night.
6. “Just tell him …”
A logical argument in a calm tone? Of course, with this you will very much impress the kid, who is jacked up to the limit. He’s just a walking logic.
Threaten him? To add fear to his hysteria? Great method. It will definitely work.
Lie to a child? Yes, lying can comfort. True, then she will come out and it will be many times worse than hysteria in the store. But what’s the difference, we don’t think about the consequences.
Thanks. And what would I do without your advice?
7. “Just let him …”
Sometimes it seems like giving up is the easiest way to end your tantrum. We emphasize: it seems. The child will understand from the first time that it is much easier to manipulate you than he thought. Tantrums will be repeated, and requests to buy something will be more frequent. Anyway, where did you see that something good grows out of a child who is allowed to do anything? In general, if you do not endure and give up, then it will only get worse.
8. “Don’t give him anything!”
Surrendering to hysteria is a bad tactic. But sometimes you can still negotiate. After all, agreeing and giving up are two different things, eh?
9. “Let me …”
Want to showcase your teaching talents? Welcome to my world! Try it. To your health. Tame the monster. If he throws his toy horse in your face, it’s not my fault, they asked for it.
10. “Do something!”
And what do you think I stand and admire? I’m doing my best anyway. More precisely, the best and most correct thing that I can do in this situation. If I had ways to control my child’s behavior better and more effectively, I would have used them already. Take my word for it. Unfortunately, babies are completely separate people from us. They have heads of their own. These heads are still forming social skills. Moreover, they are just learning etiquette and the rules of decent behavior. Over time, they will realize that hysteria is not the best way to get what they want. With time. Not right now.