10 tips from a psychologist on how to develop willpower in a child

Willpower allows each of us to keep ourselves within the limits of what is permitted and cut off everything superfluous that impedes the achievement of any goal. People who do not have willpower are less able to persistently achieve success in certain endeavors, and are more prone to various addictions.

That is why every caring parent wants to develop this important quality in their child, which will largely determine his future life.

The main thing in this business is to practice regularly. Of course, at first there will be failures, but with the systematic repetition and training of already learned skills, you can develop the necessary level of willpower in your child.

We present the 10 most effective exercises for developing willpower in a child.

10 Introduce your child to the concept of “willpower”

To begin with, define a goal – offer the baby a choice of several options or ask him what he would like to learn. Set the deadline for achieving this task (this will be the criterion for the effectiveness of the exercises).

Explain to your child that sometimes it will be difficult for him and tell him about several ways to overcome difficulties. And most importantly – believe in it yourself!

Understand that everything you need is already in your child. Your task is to awaken and develop these natural abilities to the maximum.

9. Explain the importance of willpower

To do this, tell your child a couple of inspiring stories in which the main character was able to achieve incredible success by sheer force of will. At the same time, do not forget to tell him about negative examples, thereby showing him what can happen if a person does not have willpower.

8. Teach your child mental exercises

Psychologists have developed several simple exercises to improve the mental abilities of the child. This approach has a complicated name – “mindfulness”. In principle, it is very similar to the technique of Eastern meditation, only in this case the exercises are not associated with any philosophical or religious movements.

The main task of the exercises is to teach the child to consciously manage his attention. This technique will allow you to control your thoughts and emotions, as well as correctly perceive visual, auditory and olfactory signals. But this is a very valuable quality for any student.

You can find many similar exercises on the Internet, but you can start with the easiest – by focusing on your breathing. Come up with a “breathing partner” for yourself and your baby (it can be a small soft toy). Next, it will need to be placed on the child’s stomach.

After that, tell the baby to take a deep abdominal breath (so that the stomach rises). The inhalation should be followed by a slow long exhalation. At this time, the “breathing partner” will slowly rise and fall.

It is good if the exhalation is twice as long as the inhalation – this will help the baby to feel peace faster and focus on his own feelings. With this simple method, you will not only be able to teach your child to disengage from stress, but also improve their IQ level by increasing the cerebral cortex.

7. Explain that mistakes are normal

The presence of willpower suggests that a person will overcome various trials that he will have to face in this life one way or another, without having a momentary positive incentive.

If the child does not doubt that in the end he will get what he wants, then it will be much easier for him to overcome difficulties on the way to his cherished goal.

A child should never be driven into certain limits: “you can do this, but you definitely can’t”, “you are a mathematician, the humanities are not yours”, and so on. With such an approach, you will never achieve a positive result.

It is much more effective to constantly give children a growth mindset. If now a child has written a dictation for a triple, then he has many chances to improve his abilities. Do not be afraid to encourage children to improve their performance and set high goals for them.

6. Make your child believe in success and in themselves

Failures can be very effective “teachers” if you teach your child how to deal with them. It is impossible to encourage the fact that the child, after each mistake, is engaged in self-flagellation – such behavior indicates low self-esteem.

Wise parents will be able to teach their child to face challenges and overcome self-doubt without fear. The main thing is for the child to understand that success is the result of hard work, and not random luck. So, with the help of work, he will be able to overcome everything, the main thing is not to deviate from the intended goal and believe in himself!

5. Support your child properly

There are ups and downs on the path to self-improvement. And this cannot be avoided. But how do parents most often react to such imperfections in their offspring?

More recently, it seemed that the son had firmly decided to limit his pastime at the computer, but yesterday he again sat at the monitor until late.

At this moment, you may want to make a scandal, or at least read a notation, threatening him with the prospect of becoming a bespectacled man to heighten the effect. But, this strategy is wrong in advance.

Remember, for a parent in the process of training their child’s willpower, it is very important to maintain self-control. In the end, show willpower!

4. Remind me of the goal when you praise

When you encourage a child for the work done, do not forget to remind him of the main goal to which he is moving.

For example, if your son or daughter won a physics olympiad, instead of enthusiastically exclaiming: “You are just a young Einstein!” Tell him: “You worked hard to achieve such a result, now you have become much closer to your cherished goal – admission to the physics faculty of Moscow State University.

3. Introduce New Habits Gradually

Often we make the wrong decisions because we give ourselves the word to start a “new life”, relatively speaking, only from Monday, and today you can afford to relax. This is a very common behavioral tactic, but it is ineffective.

The key to success is good habits that will gradually turn into a lifestyle. After all, as you know: “Sow a habit – you reap a character.”

It is unnecessary to demand too much from the child from the first steps. In the end, more than one child suffered from the Stakhanovite enthusiasm of parents who decided to test their suddenly awakened pedagogical talent on children.

2. Do not forget to remind about success in the end

Perhaps if a child sweats over formulas every day and presents himself as a Nobel Prize winner, then perhaps he will show more zeal to comprehend science.

In general, with a clear designation of the final goal, it will be very useful to clearly imagine and describe in detail what we will get as a result. The first place on the podium, the ability to easily communicate in a foreign language, studying at a prestigious university or the main role in an Oscar-winning film?

The more often we imagine that our goal has already been achieved, the more likely we will be to win.

The same applies to our children. Due to their age, fantasies occupy a significant part of their leisure time, so it would be nice to use this “valuable” resource to effectively motivate the young genius.

1. Lead by example and start with yourself

There is such a popular expression: “You don’t need to educate a child, you need to educate yourself.” This is how a person works – in the first years of life, he imitates his parents, copies their habits, adopts their way of life.

Therefore, if in words you are correct and positive, and your deeds testify to the presence of negative qualities in your character, then the child will sooner or later lose confidence in your words, and having passed the pubertal phase of his development, he will completely lose respect for you as a child. personality.

Therefore, before you direct your child to a certain direction, you must already be on this road and ahead of him in achievements. Remember, positive example is the most effective teaching method.