If a child has a strong and strong-willed character, it is important to know that he will not always agree with your point of view. It’s not necessarily bad. But getting him to change will be very, very difficult – upbringing can turn into a struggle for power. The most important thing is that the child feels that you understand him.
How to deal with such a child? Try to show empathy as much as possible and offer several options to choose from. If he refuses to go to bed, offer to read a bedtime story or remind him that his favorite plush toy is waiting in his room.
Try to create a scenario where everyone wins. Trying to convince a child of something, choose your arguments carefully – such a child expects honesty from you. In any dispute, try to be understanding. Explain why you should not offend your younger brother or sister – they are very unpleasant.
Discipline is an important part of parenting, but it is equally important to be able to find understanding with children.
With the advent of children, life changes dramatically. It is perfectly acceptable to explain this to a child. The main thing is to make it clear that you still love him very much and care about him.
Discipline is an important part of parenting, but it is equally important to be able to find understanding with children.
Here are 10 tips for parents of children with strong wills to heed:
1. Always remember the age of the baby. The younger the child, the more dependent on you and the less able to do or understand things on their own.
2. Consider where in seniority the child is among brothers and sisters. Older children in the family usually like to command, while younger children are often more carefree. This pattern is indeed very common. And this is no coincidence – parents are usually more demanding of older children.
3. Honesty and fairness are important to him. If a strong-willed child feels unfair treatment, he begins to defend himself. In this case, it is necessary to find mutual understanding. If it’s big enough to understand this, explain why you had to do it this way.
4. He wants to feel his independence. Therefore, such children do not like to be reminded to brush their teeth. If he is not happy with such advice, it is better to just give him a short list of what needs to be done. For example: every morning we brush our teeth, have breakfast, get dressed, etc.
5. He needs you to listen to him. In fact, he cares how you feel about him. He wants you to be happy with him. Take time to listen to your child and give them confidence.
6. It is important for him to be respected. If the child feels your respect, he will not have the need to swear and argue. Very often, children with strong character fight with their parents precisely because they are trying to gain respect.
7. He needs order. When a child knows exactly what you expect from him in a particular situation, it is easier for him to control his own behavior.
8. It is important for him to know that his word also has weight in the family. This helps the child feel your respect. Do not just say that you do not like his ideas – try to put them into practice. So what if they’re not perfect? But the child will be just happy.
9. Let him learn from experience. Most children with strong wills prefer to learn from experience. So when you tell them to stay away from the hot stove, they may come closer. In cases where it is not a danger to life and health, let the child do what he wants.
10. All is well. Everything is going as it should. Constantly fighting with parents is normal for a child with a strong will. In turn, you must teach him not only to regulate his emotions, but also to be aware of them.
I always say that a good parent is one who makes mistakes and who admits them. The main thing is to learn from them and try to fix everything. This will show your child that it is okay to make mistakes. And this is one of the most important lessons you can teach him.
About the Developer
Leanne Evila – family therapist with 10 years of experience. Lives and works in California. Read more on her .