Contents
Openness helps us deal with fears. If a person has fully opened up, but he is no longer afraid of anything, because. he has nothing to lose. He gains freedom.
But there is also a downside. You can’t be honest with everyone. Otherwise, you will have to pay. Someone can condemn, someone will then slander.
But, on the other hand, openness helps you to get an outside opinion about the current situation, to think it over. And not always a frank conversation is followed by condemnation and hostility, sometimes another person can help and support.
If you are being judged, it is not because you are the one who causes negative feelings, but only because your story touched their soul. They have their own traumas, stories that you reminded about with your statements. Being open is not so bad, but there are still topics that should not be discussed with others.
10 The manifestation of heroism
A person performs a heroic deed, because. follows the dictates of the soul, he knows that this is exactly what should have been done. He will never talk about his exploits.
Those who are ready to risk their lives for the sake of other people should have received a worthy upbringing, i.e. will not brag. He doesn’t care about fame or public opinion. The desire to achieve fame at any cost is rather characteristic of weak, dependent people. Such behavior will not make a folk hero out of them, but rather become an occasion for ridicule.
Heroic deeds do not need advertising, society sees them anyway. The realization that you overcame difficulties, did not lose your head, is already a reward.
9. Gossip
Gossiping is usually done by people who are jealous of the well-being of another person or who would like to take revenge on him. Sometimes gossip lovers are those who have low self-esteem. They are happy to spread gossip, tk. it helps them to elevate themselves. Some people have too few highlights in their lives, and in this way they have fun.
As we can see, a happy, strong, self-confident person will not gossip. This is a favorite occupation of flawed, unfortunate people. You probably don’t want to join their ranks. Therefore, even if you heard gossip somewhere, you should not tell it to others, but it is better to immediately stop the interlocutor, transfer the conversation to another topic.
8. spiritual knowledge
Almost every religion has its own stages of spiritual growth. You cannot reach a certain level if you do not work on yourself. If you were able to overcome the next step, you should not tell other people about your successes.
You may not be understood, because the interlocutor may not be interested in this topic. And the obsessive desire to save another will cause the opposite reaction: it can permanently alienate a person from the search for truth. Everyone has their own path of spiritual growth, this must be understood and accepted.
7. Good deeds
An Orthodox person cannot be told about the good deeds that he has done. This strengthens his pride. In addition, the Christian hopes that this will help him get to heaven. But if he told others about his act, he was already rewarded. They began to praise him, exalt his kindness, set an example. And this good deed will not be credited to him in Heaven later.
Those who are far from faith should also not praise themselves. We do not like those who boast of good deeds, who expose their help to others for show. Instead of praise and approval, you can get public condemnation.
6. financial solvency
Now people have different levels of income. There may be people in your environment who are much wealthier than you. This can make you feel like a “rogue”, create awkwardness in communication.
In addition, we have a widespread opinion that wealth is directly related to a person’s skills and the ability to profitably sell them. Accordingly, those who do not know how, remain poor, and people would not want to feel like failures.
Those who do not have money problems also do not like to talk about it. There are such friends who, having learned that a person is provided, can ask for a loan and not return the money. Or they will begin to hint at expensive gifts, ask you to pay for lunch in a cafe, etc. Therefore, it is better not to touch this topic.
5. Mental capacity
Talking about who is dumber or who is smarter is a road to nowhere. Albert Einstein said that every person is a genius. And if you judge a fish on the basis of whether it can climb a tree or not, then it can live its whole life considering itself a fool.
Each person has their own strengths. By developing them, he can achieve a lot in this area. And there is no point in discussing other people’s or your own mental abilities, because. this may come across as boastfulness, condemnation, or flattery.
4. Plans for the future
If you want your plans to come true, you should not share them with other people. Professor Peter Gollwitzer believes that when we talk about them to another person, we feel complete. In our thoughts, we have already completed this important matter, and this deceives the brain, it does not seek to do something to achieve the goal.
He was able to confirm this with the help of an experiment, 163 people took part in it. He invited them to come up with a goal. Then half of the participants shared their plans with others, and the second kept it a secret. Everyone was given 45 minutes. on actions that could bring them closer to the goal.
Those who kept silent about it worked all this time and worried that they did not have time. And the rest worked only 30 minutes. and got busy with other things, because. were sure that they had done a lot.
3. Alien secrets
If a person has entrusted you with a secret, you can not talk about it. Otherwise, you will forever lose not only his trust, but also sympathy. Imagine that someone told others about your secret. Would you like to be in a relationship with this person? Nobody likes talkers and can be left alone.
If you know that you are not good at keeping secrets, talk about your weakness before you were entrusted with a secret, or move the conversation to another topic.
2. Personal problems
Each person has their own problems and difficulties. By talking about them, we hope that they will sympathize with us or even help us solve them.
But what can an outsider do? His head is filled with his own affairs and worries. He can only sympathize and after some time forget about them, in the worst case, he will gloat. If you are looking for help, it is worth discussing the situation with loved ones.
1. Family quarrels
Quarrels in the family are normal, because. they help to vent the negativity. But do not interfere with them outsiders. You can make peace in a day, and gossip will walk between friends for a long time. In addition, often “girlfriends” act as instigators, inflate the conflict, supposedly protecting the offended side.
But only family members themselves can figure out what is happening, because. people from the outside do not know all the details of what happened and may give the wrong advice.