PSYchology

What is it, shock therapy for neuroses or fun for the narcissistic rich? What is not said about psychoanalysis! It’s time to figure out what’s what.

There is hardly anyone today who has never heard of the Oedipus complex (and at the same time, who knows exactly what this expression means?). They joke about psychoanalysis, write in magazines, make films. Meanwhile, many common opinions about him are not confirmed by personal experience. But being in captivity of prejudice, it is difficult to decide on a meeting that could be beneficial. We chose ten conjectures and found out how true they are.

1. I know my problems and can analyze them

Many people try to understand the causes of their difficulties on their own. But it is impossible to get to your unconscious alone! After all, understanding your problems does not mean solving them. Quite the opposite: when we think about ourselves alone or even with a friend, the way we think is predetermined by our personality and psychological defense mechanisms, and the result is going in circles. To break this vicious circle and allow the unconscious to emerge, the presence of the analyst is necessary. The main thing that is important to understand is that we go to analysis not in order to hear what we already know, but in order to find out some inner truth that we did not guess about, which we did not notice.

2. It will change me completely

Change yourself — this is precisely the goal of analysis! After him, a person will no longer be the same as before, since a turning point has occurred in his life. Of course, some old habits and inclinations will remain, but the attitude towards other people, towards life is changing at a deep level, and this is of great benefit. A person who does not love himself, is not confident in himself, will not just increase self-esteem. Experiencing new internal and external conflicts (which inevitably happen), he will be able to support and value himself, rely on his own internal forces to work through and overcome them. It will never be perfect, but always a good enough solution.

3. This introspection teaches us to admire ourselves.

Yes, this is an egocentric occupation, but its essence is not at all that a person turns into what is usually called an egocentric. One might get the impression that people who decide to start a course of analysis are very self-centered. Meanwhile, for the most part, they are victims of the action of unconscious mechanisms that make them satisfy the needs of other people more than their own, and this is precisely the main cause of their suffering. And analysis allows you to finally take care of yourself. Yes, indeed, at first they will be interested exclusively in their own person. But the time will come, and this phase will be passed, and they will learn «honest selfishness», which consists in the ability to take care of themselves, while not forgetting about others.

4. It makes no sense to talk to a person who is silent.

No, talking to another person is never useless! Moreover, the psychoanalyst is not silent at all. If he doesn’t say much, it’s to give the patient a say and let him build his own solutions. The art of a specialist lies precisely in speaking at the right moment. His participation in the conversation is precisely calculated: the analyst pronounces words in order to note something, to direct, to calm the patient. He is aware that if he says too much, it can cause unnecessary anxiety and fear in the patient. In addition, he should not act as an adviser, mentor or role model, as this restricts the freedom of the patient.

5. It’s only for the rich

It is extremely important for us to learn how to take care of ourselves and invest both mental strength and financial resources in ourselves. Paradoxically, few can allow themselves this, unconsciously believing that they are unworthy of better and do not deserve change. Significant spending and the need to pay for missed sessions can push a person to stop using destructive defense mechanisms (for example, fleeing into illness) or masochistic scenarios. By remembering to pay, the patient gets a chance to stop creating symptoms for himself and treat himself mercilessly. In addition, payment for sessions is a guarantee of equality and mutual dependence of the patient and the analyst. How could we openly express our anger at the analyst if we did not pay him!

Although the economic crisis often forces analysts to adjust rates to the income level of their patients, this type of therapy still remains primarily aimed at the middle class.

6. Psychoanalysis is destructive to the «original» people.

On the contrary, psychoanalysis allows you to find your way. Many patients whose creative abilities were previously suppressed were able to develop them precisely through therapy. When a person really has something to say, analysis allows him to express it better. On the other hand, perhaps he will stop pseudo-creativity, which is only a neurotic expression of mental suffering. For example, often a person who writes or draws in order to fight his inner chaos, having no words to express his trouble, gives up this occupation when analysis teaches him to express himself in a different way.

7. After psychoanalysis, neurosis only intensifies.

Of course not! Indeed, during the analysis, and especially closer to its completion, there are very difficult moments — anxiety and depression appear. These states show that a person is faced with the truth, which he did not suspect and which is difficult to face. Or he had to give up some conviction that he still lived with. Of course, during such periods, others say: “He used to feel better …” But this is not so. Immediately after parting with the psychoanalyst, the patient may re-play painful situations … But now he does this in order to be convinced of his ability to say “no”, to behave differently. And this will continue until the moment when he really changes his position in relation to his desires and pleasures.

8. Psychoanalysis is needed for those who are going through a crisis

Yes and no. Those who turn to a psychoanalyst are driven by a desire to understand what is happening to him (“Why do I fail every time where I want to succeed?”; “Why do I suffer from chronic pain when the doctor assures me that everything is all right with me? «). Figuratively speaking, one can say that a person may decide to go to psychoanalysis simply because he feels a small stone in his shoe: some inexplicable, but disturbing inconvenience that he himself cannot get rid of …

9. If one of the spouses begins psychoanalysis, then the matter will definitely end in divorce.

No, unless the patient realizes in therapy that the relationship serves him primarily to hurt himself. Most often, the analysis of one of the partners helps the couple develop their relationship. The couple finds ways to make their lives better and to mitigate differences. It happens that a person begins an analysis in order to decide on a divorce, and finds that he does not want this at all. And it happens vice versa.

10. Better a course of short-term therapy than years on the couch with a psychoanalyst

It is not the same thing: the same work cannot be done in a few weeks or in many years. Yes, the analysis takes a very long time, on average 4-7 years. And this is indeed a very serious financial investment in yourself. But why so long? First of all, because psychological processes develop slowly and patients cannot be urged on: the work progresses depending on what the patient can endure and how much time he needs to understand the essence of his problems. The main goal of psychoanalysis is to help the patient establish a productive interaction with the various forces of his unconscious, to find a mature «I», which can continue the internal psychoanalytic work after the analysis is completed. Maturation is a gradual process, it cannot be forced, no matter how much we want it.

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