Contents
- 10 Behaving “unusually” compared to other parents
- 9. Overprotective
- 8. Intrude into the life of the child, solve his problems
- 7. Imitate the behavior of the child’s friends
- 6. Professions of parents
- 5. Making remarks in front of strangers
- 4. A bunch of personal details and family history for the kid’s friends
- 3. Old fashioned
- 2. Actively live in social networks
- 1. Talking about their personal life
Most parents do not notice how their children grow up. Just yesterday, the rosy-cheeked peanut could not live even an hour without a mother, and today he is defending his rights to privacy. He wants to dress fashionably, walk until late at night, make decisions on his own.
This cannot be avoided, each person lived a period of growing up. At this time, communication with parents is usually lost, misunderstanding arises. Some children become ashamed of their parents. Of course, dad and mom are very upset, they have been trying all their lives for the child, and he does this to them.
Do not be upset, worry. First of all, you need to turn off emotions and look at yourself from the outside. Maybe you really are imperfect, and the child is not to blame?
In any case, you will have to focus on this problem and solve it. In this article, we will analyze 10 situations when children are ashamed of their parents. Perhaps at some point you will recognize yourself, understand how to act in order to improve relations with the child.
10 Behaving “unusually” compared to other parents
If you are different from the parents of friends and classmates, the child will sooner or later begin to be ashamed of you. The reason may be the appearance. Many women (and men too) are trying to look younger, buying fashionable clothes that are “like a saddle for a cow”.
A child may be ashamed of his parents if they behave unusually: they joke a lot, constantly give advice. He will worry even because of such trifles as an accent, a manner of speaking.
Moreover, in most cases, he has no difference to the parents of classmates. He does not pay attention to them, even if they do not look like other parents.
If such a problem has arisen in your family, try to establish contact, talk with the child. If you are really acting strange or looking unusual, maybe it’s time to reconsider your behavior?
If the reasons are far-fetched, try to calm your child, tell him about your growing up, about similar situations in your life.
9. Overprotective
The problem of many mothers who do not want to understand that the child has grown. Before you is almost an adult. No one is suggesting that you leave your teenager unattended. That’s only if the child went out into the street, and you shout to him: “Kitty, you forgot to put on mittens!”, It is worth considering.
If in the morning he meets classmates at the entrance and heads to school, and you follow him and try to hand him sandwiches or apples, it looks ridiculous.
Soon your child will become the object of ridicule. Therefore, no matter how much you want to show love and tenderness in public, do not do it. Otherwise, the child will not only be ashamed of you, he may hate you.
8. Intrude into the life of the child, solve his problems
When a child has problems, parents cannot stand aside. Just before running to help, ask your child if he agrees to accept it.
Sometimes parents do stupid things. They run to deal with a teacher who undeservedly put “2” or with a classmate who raised his hand to their child.
Understand that the child wants to decide everything on his own. Remember yourself. What would you do if your mother went to the parents of Petya or Vasya, with whom you had a little fight?
The child feels like an adult, give him the opportunity to figure out his own life. Of course, everything should not be left to chance. Look at the situation and do not intervene when it is completely unnecessary.
7. Imitate the behavior of the child’s friends
It has already been noted above that some parents want to stay young. They dress fashionably, try to act like buddies. They hope that such behavior will bring them closer to their son or daughter, they will become not only parents, but also friends.
But in reality, everything happens in a completely different way. Such parents become the object of ridicule, the child begins to be ashamed of them.
His classmates and friends will laugh at you, the child will be between two fires. He will need to make a choice, and most likely he will make it not in your favor. Do not try to regain youth, behave according to your age.
6. Professions of parents
It is very difficult to find a way out of this situation. If a child is ashamed of the parents’ profession, it offends them greatly, even hurts them. Mom and dad no longer want to solve this problem, they feel offended. Still, parents work day and night to provide for themselves and their children, and they are ashamed of them.
This situation is also your fault. It is not that your profession is not prestigious or poorly paid, but that you have raised your child poorly. Children who respect their parents will not be ashamed of their work.
You will have to wait out this period or try to change your life. You should always strive for the best, because children are your reflection. You will always be an example for them, good or bad, depends on you.
5. Making remarks in front of strangers
Even a small child should not make remarks in front of strangers. Most parents are not embarrassed by the fact that they are in a crowded place, they begin to “teach life” to their son or daughter. Didn’t say it, didn’t do it…
Before you say something, think about it, could you say this to your husband, sister, girlfriend? Your child is the same person, it is unpleasant for him that you arrange performances in public. If you have something to say to your child, do it at home.
4. A bunch of personal details and family history for the kid’s friends
Children do not like it when parents arrange a remembrance evening in front of their friends, girlfriends or classmates. Outsiders do not need to know that your child first fell in love at two years old.
Don’t talk about how long he took to potty train or eat with his hands until he was three years old. These are intimate memories, let them remain in your family. You don’t have to talk about them at every holiday dinner.
This is unpleasant for your child, he feels like an adult, and here you are with your memories of the potty and the first steps. At such moments, he is ashamed of you, he is embarrassed in front of his friends.
Also, such memories can cause bullying. You don’t want your child to be teased, do you?
3. Old fashioned
The child is ashamed of his parents if they try to be fashionable. Again, if they are far behind the times, he will be embarrassed by them too. If the wardrobe of the neighbor Maria Ivanovna, who is already over 80, is no different from yours, you should think about it.
Also, if you act as if you were in an early 50th century courtyard, the child has reason to be ashamed. You can fix everything if you want. Or talk to your child and say that this is your choice and you like the dress that was fashionable XNUMX years ago.
Separately, it is worth mentioning about fathers and mothers who, by age, are suitable for their child as grandparents. With all their desire, they will not be able to become younger, but they love their child and want the best for him. In such a situation, it remains only to wait for the child to grow up and understand this.
Parents who actively use social networks can also become reasons that the child will be ashamed of them. If you can’t live without social networks, love to like and write comments, do it, but not on the page of the child, his friends and classmates.
You will have to be a little more restrained regarding the records that you post, especially family photos, they are only with the permission of all family members.
Before writing, posting or commenting on something, think about whether this will be the reason why the child will begin to be ashamed of you.
1. Talking about their personal life
Even if you consider your child a friend, you have a good relationship, you share the most intimate, there is no need to overdo it. You do not need to touch on the topic of your sexual adventures, much less discuss it with your child’s friends. In such a situation, many children simply do not know how to behave, what to say.
If it is customary in your family to talk about everything, then give the child the right to be the first to start conversations “for adults”. You can talk to him, but you don’t need to go into details.