Contents
- 1. You are doing great at work, but there are difficulties in your personal life.
- 2. From the outside it seems that you are driven by ambition, but in fact – anxiety
- 3. Others think that everything is going smoothly, but in fact it is very difficult for you.
- 4. Any disruption to your routine makes you mad.
- 5. You can’t relax even when you’re very tired.
- 6. Even with friends, you think about something else.
- 7. You get pissed off even by mere trifles.
- 8. You often cancel plans because you don’t have the strength to play the right role.
- 9. Weekends are harder for you than working days.
- 10. No one takes your experiences seriously – from the outside you seem successful
Everyone is well aware of the external manifestations of anxiety: panic attacks, sudden mood swings, fixation on disturbing thoughts and self-absorption. But it also happens that anxiety does not “rise to the surface”, but accumulates deep inside. Yes, you are tormented by constant anxiety, but you continue to live an ordinary life and fulfill your duties, and those around you do not even suspect what is really happening to you.
This anxiety is called high-functioning or latent anxiety. “This is not an official clinical diagnosis, but such a term is a good description of the state of people for whom anxiety causes significant discomfort, but still does not interfere with normal functioning,” explains clinical psychologist Alicia Clark. – And if it still interferes, they are diagnosed with an “anxiety disorder.”
Hidden anxiety is a kind of mechanism for protecting the psyche from possible problems. “Some people think that if they mentally prepare for all the potential troubles, they will thereby protect themselves from disappointments and failures,” says clinical psychologist Carly Klani. As a result, you get satisfaction both from the fact that you managed to avoid failure and from the fact that you achieved success (often this happens at the same time).
If you recognize yourself in this description, you are far from alone, and your problem can be solved. To do this, first of all, it is worth analyzing the main signs of hidden anxiety.
1. You are doing great at work, but there are difficulties in your personal life.
“People suffering from hidden anxiety often tend to apply in personal relationships the same behaviors that helped them achieve success in their careers,” explains Simon Rego, chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center.
But your loved ones are not colleagues or subordinates. Outside the office, generally different rules apply. “In personal life there is always an element of chaos, it is difficult to control, and success in this area is a much more shaky and blurry concept than career growth,” says Carly Claney. It is very difficult for some to come to terms with this, it even seems to them that they are losers in everything except work.
2. From the outside it seems that you are driven by ambition, but in fact – anxiety
At first glance, a person who works for almost a day and instantly answers e-mails may seem very ambitious. In fact, you are driven by anxiety. It is not the desire to succeed that drives you, but the fear of being a failure. “This behavior is usually caused by fear of possible trouble: a loss of reputation or even a complete failure in work,” Carly Klani insists.
3. Others think that everything is going smoothly, but in fact it is very difficult for you.
“Sufferers of hidden anxiety usually believe that the best way to deal with anxiety is to take control of everything. Therefore, they prefer to plan everything in advance and make to-do lists. This helps them avoid the unexpected, control their anxiety, and optimize their lives in general,” explains Alicia Clarke.
“But if you’re used to always pushing yourself to give 100%, those lists and plans can turn from a help to a burden,” adds Clarke. As a result, we exhaust ourselves, get tired, become even more anxious, procrastinate and neglect our duties, which only aggravates our condition.
4. Any disruption to your routine makes you mad.
If you’re used to dealing with anxiety by planning ahead, any disruption to your plans due to unforeseen circumstances can piss you off. “The annoyance in this situation often comes from fear,” explains Carly Claney. We find ourselves unprepared for unexpected interruptions and are afraid of losing control of the situation completely, which further increases anxiety.
5. You can’t relax even when you’re very tired.
“Sufferers of hidden anxiety usually understand that they need a reasonable balance in life and proper rest in order to be effective, but in practice they find it difficult to relax or distract themselves from worries,” says Alicia Clark.
Their evenings are usually occupied with household chores, and if they avoid them, they are tormented by guilt for allowing themselves to rest. And they even “rest” by simply switching to a slightly less tiring activity.
6. Even with friends, you think about something else.
Such people are constantly preoccupied with something: even when relaxing with friends, they think about work, and at a meeting they remember a quarrel with a loved one. “You are used to thinking things over quickly and are often immersed in yourself, so it is difficult for you to fully engage in communication,” explains Alicia Clark.
If you are used to constant activity, periods of rest and inactivity can be uncomfortable, even if you spend this time with loved ones. As a result, anxiety increases.
7. You get pissed off even by mere trifles.
Anxious people are usually especially sensitive to their environment. “You feel everything deeper, notice minor changes better and almost constantly have to filter out background stimuli (uncomfortable clothes, uncomfortable air temperature, noise, bright light), spending internal resources on this and often without even noticing it,” says Alicia Clark.
A trifle, which most people hardly pay attention to, can be very annoying for a person suffering from hidden anxiety. “If it is extremely important to you that everything around you is arranged in a certain way, any deviation from the “ideal” order of things can increase anxiety,” Simon Rego explains.
8. You often cancel plans because you don’t have the strength to play the right role.
Hidden anxiety makes unreasonably high demands, and you spend a huge amount of energy trying to meet them. Constant anxiety and the need to organize your life to make it more predictable is very tiring. As a result, you sometimes have to cancel your plans because you simply do not have the strength to play the right role in front of others.
9. Weekends are harder for you than working days.
For a person with hidden anxiety, a day off does not mean the opportunity to rest and recover, but the need to do a lot of things.
“You are tired, and there is still a long list of household chores in front of you, for which there is still not enough time. No wonder weekends sometimes seem harder than working days,” says Alicia Clarke. And when the weekend is over, instead of being happy with the number of tasks completed, you worry about what you didn’t have time to do.
10. No one takes your experiences seriously – from the outside you seem successful
It can be especially difficult for a person suffering from hidden anxiety because no one understands him.
“You suffer from “constant failure” and “loss of control”, but this is completely incomprehensible to others. You are constantly praised and encouraged, which makes you doubt your own feelings, ”explains Carly Klani. When you try to open up and be yourself, and you are not understood or dismissed, it further convinces you that failure is absolutely unacceptable, and anxiety worsens.
Living with hidden anxiety is often exhausting, but anxiety can be learned to deal with. If anxiety takes too much energy, you should consult a psychologist. You have every right to feel good, and in all areas of life, and not just in one thing.