Falling in love, engagement – during this period we lose our heads with happiness and enthusiasm so much that we stop thinking about future family life, which will begin after the solemn ceremony. What is worth knowing in advance so as not to be disappointed after a few months or years? The family therapist explains.
If you want a relationship to remain healthy and last a lifetime, this can be achieved if you prevent problems before they appear. Ten secrets of a happy marriage that everyone who is about to walk down the aisle should know:
1. The fire of passion will die out over time. Passion between spouses usually fades over time. This is normal and not a problem.
2. But it can be rekindled. Although passion and mutual attraction cool down over the years, you yourself can maintain the fire of mutual love and kindle it again and again.
3. Don’t forget the old days. Remember what fueled the passion in the beginning, and try to repeat it, even if there is no particular desire or mood.
4. Do more romantic things. In order for the fire of love not to die out or to kindle an already extinguished one, one must regularly perform passionate deeds.
5. Be prepared to speak honestly and frankly about problems. The partner will be angry with you, offended, complaining, you will also experience these feelings from time to time. Do not let temporary unpleasant experiences destroy the connection. Each of the negative emotions provides an opportunity to discuss differences, listen to each other and, ultimately, realize mutual love even more clearly and decide to improve relations.
6. Don’t let yourself get defensive. The most important secret of the longevity of a marriage is the ability to listen to the claims and grievances of a partner calmly, without reciprocal aggression. Seeing that you are listening carefully, the partner will certainly soften the anger and try to express feelings more gently and sincerely.
7. Show love every day. Mutual attraction in marriage is maintained through the mutual manifestation of love. It is important to show each other signs of attention and show love every day, and not just once a year during the holidays.
8. Go out regularly together. Go to an event or party every week as a couple. Such “dates” strengthen relationships.
9. Compliment your partner often. Look for an excuse to compliment, even if you have to come up with one. Pain always captures our attention, which is why both men and women often tend to focus on the negative aspects of a relationship. To overcome this tendency, you need to consciously and intentionally pay attention to the positive moments and always show your gratitude for the manifestations of love and care from your partner.
10. Don’t be afraid to take risks. Allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable both in the bedroom and outside. Try new things with your partner, even if it’s awkward at first.
The reward for courage will be a passion that does not fade for many years. If you think that it will be easy to keep the fire of love and mutual attraction in a marriage alive, you are in for a severe disappointment. Make an effort, keep the fire of love and passion alive in your relationship, don’t deprive yourself of many years of happiness and romance.
About the Author: Todd Krieger is a family therapist with 30 years of experience.