Contents
- 10 Children copy the behavior of their parents
- 9. Grandchildren should be loved as well as children
- 8. For a child, mother is always good
- 7. Parents invest in the child values that he will remember all his life
- 6. For a child to trust you, you need to be able to keep his secrets.
- 5. Do not encroach on the territory of the child
- 4. Denying is not an option
- 3. It is necessary to prohibit only that which can harm the health of children.
- 2. No pressure on kids
- 1. Children must respect their parents
Daria Dontsova is not only a famous writer, but also a wonderful mother. Her eldest son Arkady, who was born in his first marriage, is already 47 years old, he himself has a son, Nikita.
From her third husband, she gave birth to a daughter, Maria, she is now 33 years old. The girl is married to a programmer Yuri Subbotin. And in 2015 they had a son, the second grandson of Daria, Mikhail.
The writer has always loved and loves her children and grandchildren, spends a lot of time with them.
10 Children copy the behavior of their parents
The writer advises before scolding children for some act, you should ask yourself if you did the same. Whatever you say to the baby, he will pass these words on deaf ears, but will repeat all the actions after you.
So, if you constantly tell him that you need to love your grandmother, and after her unexpected arrival you yourself begin to swear, he will remember for the rest of his life that you need to treat your grandmother badly.
Education is not morality. Do not constantly repeat that you need to say “thank you”. A child will learn to thank others if there is a living example in front of his eyes, for example, dad, who, after dinner, can say “thank you”.
Daria’s grandson Misha, at the age of 3, knows what is allowed and what cannot be done. He never hits dogs, he doesn’t scream, he doesn’t stamp his feet. there are no examples of such behavior before our eyes.
9. Grandchildren should be loved as well as children
Daria Dontsova admits that she treats children and grandchildren equally. Her grandson Misha reminds her of little Masha. When the girl was 5 years old, she loved to sleep holding her hand. If Daria tried to remove her hand, Masha woke up and demanded her back. Now Misha has the same habit.
Grandchildren for her are an opportunity to nurse a small child again, with the smell of baby soap or milk. But there is still a difference. Now their family has more opportunities, and she can buy another toy for her grandson to please herself and the baby.
8. For a child, mother is always good
The writer is sure that children are loved in our country, and earlier it was considered indecent if a woman did not give birth. We have bad mothers, but there are not so many of them.
Daria is not used to evaluating herself. She gave birth to children to love. And for children, mom never changes and never gets old. Any child can come to her, even bad and nasty, and she will always accept him.
7. Parents invest in the child values that he will remember all his life
Like buildings, children can have good foundations, or they can be on quicksand. If the right values are invested in a child, he may do the opposite out of a sense of protest, or he may fall into bad company. But sooner or later he will return to the values that his mom and dad instilled in him.
6. For a child to trust you, you need to be able to keep his secrets.
If a child has shared some secret, you can not tell it to others. Once she herself said that she would hide the trick, because. dad is upset. But if this happens again, then she will be forced to tell him everything, and his pressure may rise. Children must be sure that their mother will not give out their secret to anyone if she promised to keep this secret.
5. Do not encroach on the territory of the child
If a teenager decided not to let you into the room, hung terrible posters there, you should not argue with him. This is his territory, his room, which cannot be entered without his permission. He doesn’t touch your things. And this applies not only to the room, but to everything else.
If he brought a daughter-in-law whom you do not like, you need to make an effort and try to love her. Something in the life of an adult child should be good: work or family, an exciting hobby. Does he like this kind of life? If so, you don’t need to interfere with it.
4. Denying is not an option
Many parents drive their children into the framework of strict prohibitions. Daria Dontsova is sure that this is not correct. If they consider their child old enough, they are not forbidden anything, they are simply not interested in doing something bad.
All the friends of the children always sat at their house, she and her husband allowed to bring guests, treat them to everything that is in the refrigerator. And they always knew what children were fond of, with whom they were friends.
When the boys started smoking, she did not throw tantrums, but advised him to take good cigarettes from dad. And it worked, after a while they quit smoking, because. no excitement, no one takes away a smoke. Daria says that they never hid alcohol, the children could get it and try it. But after tasting, they no longer wanted to drink.
3. It is necessary to prohibit only that which can harm the health of children.
So, if a child wants to pierce his nose, you need to explain to him that because of this, ventilation may be disturbed, he may develop sinusitis. If all this did not affect him, let him pierce and get sick.
It is important to explain to the child why you are against it, to tell how it all can end. But if this whim can seriously harm health, parents should be firm.
2. No pressure on kids
Daria Dontsova said that neither she nor her husband tried not to put pressure on the children. So, when their daughter graduated from high school, they wanted Masha to enter the Faculty of Psychology, where her dad worked then.
But the girl said she wants to be a buyer. They did not object, but only warned her that if something went wrong, she would not have an airbag; higher education.
Masha thought about it and went to the psychology faculty herself, and then received a second education. Her dream has come true, she works as a buyer, and her knowledge of psychology helps her a lot.
1. Children must respect their parents
The writer recalls that her father and mother held important positions. They always put their work first. Her grandmother was involved in her upbringing. At that time, everyone lived like this: parents worked hard, and children tried to study well.
Parents kept their distance: if guests came, the girl could not sit next to them, she also ate separately from adults. Daria herself behaved differently with children.
But she agrees that children should respect their parents and remember that mom is not a friend. She can help, will do everything in her power, but she will not tolerate rudeness and familiarity. Parents are older than children and smarter, they need to be treated with respect.