Contents
- 1. Do not criticize, but give feedback
- 2. Don’t give in to negative emotions
- 3. Try to be friendly
- 4. Avoid an accusatory tone
- 5. Do not compare with others, but recommend useful experiences
- 6. Judge the action, not the person
- 7. Don’t discount other people’s efforts
- 8. Structure your assessment
- 9. Do no harm
- 10. Encourage the person you criticize.
Sometimes we wonder: why are some people first interested in our opinion, and then offended by our assessment? Often this leads to conflicts, mutual disappointment, and sometimes we stop communicating with colleagues or friends altogether.
In order for criticism to be constructive, to increase your authority, to be listened to and consulted with you, follow simple rules.
1. Do not criticize, but give feedback
Start the evaluation with positive comments, with what you really liked. Be sincere. Then comment on what you would have done differently.
2. Don’t give in to negative emotions
Start criticizing only in a calm state. Otherwise, there is a great risk of getting personal, and this leads to resentment and conflict.
3. Try to be friendly
Smile and speak in a calm, even voice. In this case, the interlocutor is more likely to listen to your words.
4. Avoid an accusatory tone
Replace «You did it wrong» with «I think it should have been done differently.»
5. Do not compare with others, but recommend useful experiences
Let’s say you say: «You didn’t succeed, but Ivan Ivanovich coped with the task!» Such a comparison, firstly, gives nothing to the interlocutor, and secondly, undermines his self-confidence. It is more constructive to build a conversation like this: “Ivan Ivanovich was engaged in a similar project. In his blog, he described the experience and mistakes made in the process. Maybe you should read his blog? Surely there will be a lot of useful things.
6. Judge the action, not the person
Feel the difference between the phrases «Your report contains incorrect data» and «You are so inattentive that you made a bunch of errors in the report.»
7. Don’t discount other people’s efforts
Try to take the place of the interlocutor, imagine how much effort and energy he has invested in what you are now evaluating. This will help you become kinder to him.
8. Structure your assessment
Confusion and a large amount of information will not help to convey your idea. Speak clearly and to the point. This will give credibility to the assessment, and the interlocutor will listen to it.
9. Do no harm
It happens that we unconsciously seek to disappoint the other. For example, you see that a colleague, friend or acquaintance has done something brilliantly. He himself is sure of this and expects you to praise him. Instead, you say, «Overall, not bad.» With such an assessment, you will at least spoil the interlocutor’s high spirits, and at the most undermine self-confidence.
The reason for this behavior is jealousy. Try to do otherwise: first, be above envy, admire the work. Secondly, let envy motivate you to new achievements and self-improvement.
10. Encourage the person you criticize.
It is important to end criticism with a kind word, so as not to discourage the interlocutor from wanting to consult with you or do something.
Constructive criticism brings together and becomes a source of personal growth both for the one who speaks out and for the one who is criticized. Dialogue is a source of new experience, knowledge and a way to find common interests. By criticizing with meaning and good intentions, you create a strong base for partnerships.