10 Rules for a Happy Life by Elizabeth Gilbert

1. You don’t have to be fearless, just be curious.

I don’t recommend being fearless. I met such people — they were either psychopaths or three-year-old children. I think we are very curious by nature. Curiosity is an amazing thing: with tiny efforts, we can achieve unprecedented results.

If, waking up, every morning you ask yourself the question: “What else am I interested in knowing?” and day by day get closer to your goal at least a millimeter, your life will become better.

2. Make friends with your fears

I am afraid of many things in life, but I had to learn to thank my fear: “I understand, you protect me, you are my “bodyguard”. We do not appreciate that it is fear that keeps us alive for so long.

We are still alive because at some point our fear tells us: «Don’t get in the car with this guy,» «Don’t walk the dark streets,» «Don’t get in the water, you’re not a very good swimmer.»

We are indebted to our fears for the life saved. Start telling your fear how much you appreciate it. You need to be friends with your fears.

3. Stop looking for certainty

There are paradoxes and uncertainties in the world. And as long as we keep looking for rules that keep us away from them, we won’t feel confident.

4. Be patient with yourself

You don’t have to take a huge leap and expend a lot of energy to be happy. Everyone is waiting for some sign or miracle. Of course, there is something dramatic and exciting in this, but this does not happen often. We are all looking for the easy way. But I didn’t write my book in one day.

Before doing this, I experienced a lot, there were many tears. In order to reach the white line, you have to fix the things that need to be fixed. And for this you need to be patient with yourself, the ability to forgive yourself and others, because change is a difficult thing.

5. Don’t expect guarantees

Many of us hesitate to start something just because we are not sure of the end result. But it does make sense. If we knew how the journey would end, we would never have started it. “What if I go on a journey and find nothing at the end?” — you ask.

I assure you it doesn’t happen. At the end of every journey, even if you don’t get what you wanted, you will learn more about yourself. And yes, it is impossible to get rid of disappointment, but it is part of the journey.

6. «Refuse» and «surrender» are not the same thing.

To give up something is to admit that what you have been doing is not interesting, or difficult, or boring. Surrender means to admit: “My strength is running out, I can’t do anything anymore and I can’t give anything.”

I was often ashamed of the things that happened to me as a result of my refusal of something. Conversely, all the best things in my life happened the moment I gave up.

In those moments, I realized that I was not the strongest person in the universe, and just went with the flow.

7. Be creators of your life, not bystanders

In the book «Big Magic. Creativity without fear” (“Ripol Classic”, 2018) I advised readers to find an outlet in some kind of creativity. Journalists then asked if I was afraid that after this book the world would be filled with bad pictures? I did not expect such arrogance.

Art should not be only elite, talent can be shown in any field. Even if you can’t draw, don’t be afraid to create! It’s much better than just watching life go by from the sidelines.

Find what inspires you, what interests you. Do not be afraid of criticism, create, take risks, and then life will begin to bring more joy.

8. Find your «tribe»

Perhaps many of us need a mentor. But what if a group of peers with similar interests and problems is much better than a mentor? In such a group, you motivate each other to become better. If your «tribe» does not yet exist, perhaps you should create one and become the leader of your clan? If what you need doesn’t exist, make it yourself.

9. Keep on living

It’s a shame when things don’t work out. But the worst thing is when we give up and we say: “I will never tell anyone about my dreams again”, “I will never love again”, “I will never do this again”. And then what is left for us to do for the rest of our lives? Waiting to die and pay the bills until that day comes?

If there can be happy moments in our life, we should not give up. We must continue to live. There is nothing more meaningful in life than just being a curious and interested person.

10. Ask the right questions

Many people, after reading my book, think that traveling will change their lives. They ask me questions: “What is the name of that pizzeria in Naples?” But the book is not about pizza, but about questions that we ask ourselves.

Ask: “What do I want to do in my life?”, “What would I like most or least?”, “What makes me happy?”, “Who helps me understand that the world is full of opportunities?”. Ask the right questions — become a scientist based on your own experience.