When the relationship has exhausted itself, you need to leave. But we do not always follow this rule and easily come up with reasons to stay. Ten men told why they stayed in a relationship longer than they should have.
Few people find a partner on the first try and on the second or third. Of course, some are lucky, but most have to heal a broken heart before we meet our “half”. Breakups are rarely easy, but they do provide valuable lessons. We leave relationships wiser and more conscious than we were at the beginning, we understand more about our desires, this brings us closer to understanding what is really needed.
At the same time, many remained in relationships that had long since exhausted themselves. But men and women do it for different reasons. Answers of ten men why they did not leave their partners, although they understood that the relationship was not destined to become the same.
1. Because of relatives. “She was on good terms with the family: my parents, aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers, their husbands and wives, their children. They loved her and insisted that I could not find such a beautiful woman anywhere else. Although I understood that she was not what I needed, I could not break off the relationship. I knew I would have to listen to questions and regrets. In the end, I broke up with her anyway, several years have passed since then, but the sisters remind me of this. Philip, 36 years old.
2. Because of wasted time. “We fought all the time and didn’t understand each other, but I didn’t want to leave because we had been together for many years. He didn’t want to admit that he had wasted so many years. Of course, now I understand that these are not wasted years, but then it stopped me: we have been together for so long, you can’t just pick up and leave. She herself broke up with me, and I am grateful to her, because then I met a woman whom I fell in love with. Victor, 49 years old.
3. Because of the hope to fix everything. “It was pride. I was sure that I could mend the relationship, fix it. I didn’t want to admit to myself that there are things that I can’t influence, or that I can’t change, or that the other side might not need it. I convinced myself that I could fix everything, and put up with scandals and misunderstandings. Alexander, 29 years old.
4. For fear of losing support. “When I was younger, I was convinced that a man should be strong and keep emotions inside. My friends and I discussed sports and music, but not our feelings. But with an ex-girlfriend, I could be completely frank, talk about fears, hopes, doubts. I could be vulnerable and I liked it. When the relationship became obsolete, I understood this, but I still pulled, because I did not want to lose the opportunity to talk frankly about inner experiences. David, 32 years old.
5. Because of the convenience. “I was lazy. We were not particularly happy, but there were no scandals either. I felt that I did not want to start a bachelor life. I felt comfortable. I knew that if we broke up, then I would have to take care of myself – go to the gym and spend a lot of time and money on dates. So I stayed in a relationship where I was comfortable for quite some time. But over time, the partner became uncomfortable, and she left, as she said, to a person who cares. And I don’t blame her.” Max, 38 years old.
6. Because of the attractiveness. “I know it sounds awful and superficial, but she was beautiful. I understood that I would hardly ever get such a beautiful woman in my life, so I pulled with a gap. At the same time, I felt terrible, as a person she irritated me. Nick, 25 years old.
7. For fear of seeing her with someone else. “I knew that after breaking up she would have another, the thought of it was killing. At the same time, he himself did not want to be with her, but he did not want them to be with someone else. Sounds silly, I guess, but I felt like I wasn’t ready for it, especially when I started thinking about her having sex with someone else. When the relationship turned sour, those thoughts didn’t bother me as much.” Roman, 44 years old.
8. Because of the reluctance to start a difficult conversation. “Every time I tried to talk about our relationship and problems, she started screaming and swearing. I am not a conflict person, in the family of my parents no one ever cursed, and I did not know what to do about it. I knew that if I spoke about it again, there would be a scandal. Therefore, for some time he kept his dissatisfaction in himself and did not say anything to her, and then at one moment he said that he could no longer do this, that I was unhappy, and left. She must have screamed for a long time.” Daniel, 35 years old.
9. Because of the desire to keep a promise. “The relationship had deteriorated a long time ago, we were both unhappy, but I believed that since I took an oath at the altar, I should try to fix everything. At the same time, I didn’t always make an effort, but I still remained and believed that I was acting nobly, keeping my word, and this is what a man should do. This went on for almost ten years, but in the end the marriage broke up. Mark, 46 years old.
10. Because of sex. “We had a lot of relationship problems, but the sex was incredible. I knew that after breaking up, I would most likely have to live without him for some time, and even more so, I would hardly find someone with whom I would have the same compatibility. So I turned a blind eye to problems.” Tim, 28 years old.
Source: Popsugar.com