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Each specialist is unique, each has his own style of work. At the same time, any person is worthy of that psychotherapist who will answer his (individual) request. Here are some signs that you should change your psychologist.
1. You don’t feel connected.
An established relationship between therapist and client is the key to successful therapy. If you do not feel that you have a connection with a psychologist, that you trust him, it is probably time to look for a replacement.
2. You don’t see improvement
You have been seeing a psychotherapist for several months now, but you do not feel even any progress. There are problems that take longer to solve and are more difficult to learn to deal with. Worse, if you still have no hope for change.
- What kind of psychologist are you for your loved ones?
3.No borders
It seems to you that the therapist has ceased to see you as a client. He discusses in detail with you his personal life or problems that are not related to therapy. He may be overly interested in the details of your sex life. He wants to be friends with you outside of his office. It looks like he has trouble keeping his distance.
4. He looks distracted
It seems to you more and more that the therapist has trouble concentrating. During the session, he answers phone calls and SMS messages. He seems to be thinking about something else. Sometimes he seems to fall asleep. It’s not just impolite, you’re paying him.
- “The hardest part is finding meaning. We’ve been looking for him all our lives.»
5. You are no longer the center of attention
If during the session the therapist talks only about himself, this is not a good sign. Some level of frankness on his part can be therapeutic, but the psychologist should certainly not be at the center of the conversation. If you are not allowed to insert a word, think about it.
6. He is not neutral
The psychotherapist in all matters identifies with either you or your partner (if you are undergoing family therapy). Yes, there are situations when a psychologist must agree with one person in a particular case, but he should not take sides. The therapist may have problems of his own that come to light during the session.
7. Condemnation and evaluation
Feeling guilty about what you are doing or have done that does not fit into your value system can be quite an adequate reaction to the situation. The therapist can explore this feeling without making the patient feel bad. If it seems to you that the psychologist is trying to judge you, is giving you grades, try to find a replacement for him.
- Letter to a young psychotherapist
8. He imposes his views
Every psychologist has his own value system. She cannot be. But the profession does not allow the psychotherapist to impose his views on other people. This does not mean that issues such as spirituality cannot be explored during sessions, but it is strictly forbidden to impose one’s own values.
9. He has no specialization
Some specialists claim to be able to deal with a wide range of problems, but it is better to look for a psychologist who specializes in your problem, who has a diploma or certificate that allows him to work in this area. This is especially true for working with dependencies.
10. He cancels appointments or is late.
This can happen to anyone from time to time, and the therapist is no exception. But if he is constantly late, he shows disrespect for you and your time. The therapist expects punctuality from you, and it is required from him too.
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