Contents
Many psychologists say that a person should love himself. And it’s not about selfishness or narcissism.
A person should have a positive, not a low self-esteem. It is important that he has a sense of his own right.
If deep down he is sure that he is not worthy of a good job or a happy relationship, this is an alarming bell. Any gifts of life should please, not surprise.
Another sign is the tendency to “nag” oneself for any misconduct, constantly looking for mistakes, and not rejoicing in one’s achievements. There are 2 main reasons for the appearance of dislike for yourself. This is a negative attitude towards the child of parents who themselves feel unhappy and break down on the kids. The second reason is the experience of adaptation among people, i.e. relationships with peers in kindergarten, school, and interaction with teachers.
The way other people treat us has a big impact on our self-esteem. We are all born with a feeling of complete satisfaction with ourselves.
Remember how a small child behaves. He never condemns himself. As he grows up, other people instill in him feelings of competition, insecurity, and guilt.
It is then that we begin to live according to other people’s attitudes and devalue our opinion, focus on the opinions of others. If you’re unlucky and don’t love yourself, it’s never too late to start working on yourself, fixing what was broken when you were helpless and vulnerable.
10 Do not compare yourself with others
On the one hand, it is possible and necessary to compare ourselves with others, it gives us an impetus to development, motivates us to achieve our goals. But only if all this does not develop into envy.
Often a person cannot even admit to himself that he is envious. You can recognize this feeling by the indignation, contempt that this or that person causes.
If you find yourself jealous of someone, don’t get upset. On the contrary, you have recognized the problem and can work on it. Think about how much energy you are wasting on these negative emotions. You can point it in the right direction.
Did your friend go to sea? Think about where you could earn extra money or save money to raise money for your vacation. But do not forget to separate your desires from strangers, imposed by relatives or social attitudes.
If you feel joy when you think about this desire, if you like to remember it, make it your goal. And get it, step by step.
9. Do not accumulate resentment
All of us at least once offended by other people. But, if this happened, you should not collect your collection of grievances. It is better to immediately clarify all the relationships.
Often people do not want to deliberately offend someone, but they can do it by saying something wrong, joking not very well. If you explain to the other person that you were offended, he may ask for forgiveness, and your relationship will be strengthened.
But there are also situations when the other is deliberately bullied and mocked, regularly humiliating and insulting. Adults don’t have to put up with this kind of behavior. Learn to defend yourself, but just don’t stoop to primitive swearing or fighting. If this does not help, it is necessary to part with the offender. But after that, you need to forgive him wholeheartedly.
How to do it? First you need to go through all those negative emotions that you experience, but before that you smoothed out. They need to be thrown out: break old dishes, tear papers or old rags. And then, when you calm down, try to realize that there are no bad or good people, we all show different traits of our character.
Think about why he could do this, become his lawyer. And after that – sorry, i.e. do not return to bad thoughts about him, do not wish and do not harm him.
8. Don’t whine and don’t sag
When something bad happens, a person can get upset and worry. This is natural and no one will judge you for it. But if you are captured by self-pity, you will become unbearable for others. And as a result, they will avoid you, and your self-esteem will fall.
How to recognize it? If you constantly seek other people’s attention, call them and start complaining about problems, your main topics of conversation are failures in your personal life, at work, etc., worth considering.
How to deal with this feeling? Stop constantly repeating that you are lonely and unhappy, and that any problem can be sorted out.
7. Dare to accept yourself
Sometimes it can be difficult for us to love ourselves, because. we feel guilt, resentment, and turning it off is not so easy. To deal with this problem, think of yourself as a child.
Everyone loves children, they are too charming and spontaneous. Find photos where you are no more than 5 years old, imagine this defenseless, confused girl or boy.
Try to truly love yourself, and you will surely succeed. Over time, you can saturate older versions of yourself with love.
6. Don’t torture yourself with accusations
How often do you start blaming yourself, humiliating and punishing yourself? If this happens all the time, then you need to stop. So you will not correct your mistakes, but you can lose your health, spoil the mood for yourself and others, complicate your life.
As soon as you start beating yourself up, stop right away. But if the feeling of guilt is not far-fetched, it needs to be dealt with.
Offended someone? Do your best to make amends, and first call the person and apologize.
If you are not sure that your interlocutor was offended, ask him about it. Mistakes made in the past are best forgotten. You can’t torture yourself for so long, you’ve already punished yourself enough.
5. Don’t tolerate what you don’t like
Very often we endure unloved work, put up with circumstances, because of which we constantly feel unhappy. There are situations when a person really cannot change anything, for example, he ended up in prison.
But most often there is an alternative, and it is up to us to decide whether to change something or not. If you don’t like the school, transfer the child to another; if you don’t like the job, find another.
Remember that you, like hundreds of other people, always have a choice.
4. stop apologizing
If a person does not notice that he hurts the feelings of others, he, on the contrary, needs to learn to ask for forgiveness. But there is a type of people who apologize for almost everything: for the words they said, for their clumsiness, for the other person having the opposite opinion, etc.
If you have not harmed someone, you should not ask for forgiveness, because. thus you belittle yourself.
3. Get Self-Sufficient
If a person is independent of others, is not afraid of loneliness, can provide himself with everything necessary, he is self-sufficient. He does not seek approval from other people for his actions and views, but is always ready to take responsibility.
To become a self-sufficient person, learn to provide for yourself, take care of yourself, get used to making all decisions on your own.
2. Develop yourself
Work on yourself constantly. It’s hard to love yourself if you don’t know anything and don’t know how. Because of this, you may encounter new problems.
Develop, improve the quality of your life, and you can be proud of your achievements.
1. Listen to what you feel
It is important to know what a person is experiencing. Feelings are a kind of marker that shows what he wants at the moment. You can ignore them, but then you should not be surprised if life becomes torture: every day an unloved job, a hateful husband or wife is waiting at home, again duties that infuriate.
Listening to our feelings, we can choose the direction for our actions, and already they can change our lives.