Contents
- 1. Can I say that my partner annoys me most of the time?
- 2. Does he/she often treat me differently than I expected?
- 3. Do I envy the relationships of others?
- 4. Do I sometimes feel afraid to tell my partner what I really think?
- 5. Do I feel a lack of mutual trust that prevents me from achieving true intimacy?
- 6. Do my partner and I constantly try to “fix” each other?
- 7. Do we tend to dig deep into problems until one of us explodes?
- 8. Do we often “run away” from problems emotionally or literally?
- 9. Are we looking for an excuse to avoid each other’s company?
- 10. Have friends ever asked why I am still living with this person?
- Results
When tension arises in communication with a loved one, it is often difficult to understand whether the accumulated problems can be solved or the relationship has exhausted itself. Before leaving the past and moving on, ask yourself questions.
1. Can I say that my partner annoys me most of the time?
Constant irritation over time can develop into anger and contempt. You need to stop the process at an early stage.
2. Does he/she often treat me differently than I expected?
Everyone has expectations and preferences. The inability to show flexibility, to compromise, taking into account the interests of a partner, is disastrous for relationships. You need to understand which of your expectations represent the “final line” that cannot be crossed.
3. Do I envy the relationships of others?
If so, you need to think about your relationship with your partner. Do they give you something important and necessary? Or is there really nothing in them for which it would be worth supporting them further?
4. Do I sometimes feel afraid to tell my partner what I really think?
If you’re afraid to say what’s on your mind, you can learn to overcome that fear. Is it caused by the partner’s reactions or something else?
5. Do I feel a lack of mutual trust that prevents me from achieving true intimacy?
If the partner has already deceived you in this or past relationships, figure out if the lack of mutual trust at the moment is caused by real reasons.
6. Do my partner and I constantly try to “fix” each other?
If so, you can hardly expect openness and honesty in a relationship. The efforts of one of the partners are enough to stop this.
7. Do we tend to dig deep into problems until one of us explodes?
If you constantly put off solving problems, sooner or later an explosion will occur. You don’t need to bring it up. The efforts of one of the partners will be enough.
8. Do we often “run away” from problems emotionally or literally?
The tendency to run away from problems can create serious tension in a relationship, especially if one of the partners wants to discuss everything. Compromise is always possible.
9. Are we looking for an excuse to avoid each other’s company?
This is a sign of mutual distrust. Both of you need to answer the question of what you want from the relationship.
10. Have friends ever asked why I am still living with this person?
Friends usually want the best for us, and their opinion is worth considering. But still, only you can make the final decision whether this person is right for you or not.
Results
If you answered “yes” to 6 or more questions, the relationship is in the “high risk zone”. You don’t need to break them off immediately, but it’s time for you and your partner to pay attention to the problems and learn how to solve them. Perhaps also think about what you want from life at this stage and whether the relationship is giving you what you need.
If you answered “yes” to 2-5 questions, your relationship is not in the “high risk zone”, but you should pay more attention to it. Develop communication skills: this can give a relationship a second wind.