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You have probably heard more than once that actions speak for us louder than any words. But speech also has tremendous power – sometimes destructive. Therefore, it is so important to carefully monitor what you say, and once and for all exclude phrases from your vocabulary that can hurt, devalue or simply upset others.
1. “Just a reminder”
Perhaps if you say this to a friend who didn’t answer anything about your child’s birthday, he will forgive you, but it’s still much better to say, for example: “We are meeting on Saturday at one in the afternoon and we will be glad to see you.” The meaning is the same, but there were no “kicks”.
If you need any working information, it’s also better not to beat around the bush, but just ask: “Tell me, please, what is the readiness of the project?” This also applies to situations where deadlines are running out, and you still have not received results.
2. “Let’s get back to this later”
“Let’s slow it down for now”, “Let’s put it on pause for a while”, – speaking like this, we seem to brush off the interlocutor. It’s better to say, “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. I’ll be free after 11 am.”
If what you are being contacted with is not interesting to you, it is better to report it right away, explaining your position. Perhaps the interlocutor will not like such an answer, but still it will be better than keeping the other in limbo.
3. “Well, what can I say? Good luck with that.”
When the interlocutor is excited about something and shares with you, he most likely does not need approval or third-party opinion, but support. A faceless and stereotyped wish for good luck is definitely not it.
4. “Like I said…”
This phrase is extremely difficult to pronounce without condescension or irritation in your voice, so it’s best to get straight to the point and repeat what is necessary. Perhaps the first time the interlocutor really did not hear you. Or heard, but not fully understood. Or he lacked some important information to make a decision.
5. “To be completely honest, then…”
Are you usually not completely honest with others?
6. “Let’s discuss it live”
If one of the colleagues during the call brings up for discussion a question that is not related to the topic of the general conversation, you do not need to postpone your conversation for an indefinite period and set conditions for it. It’s much better to say, “Interesting. Let’s talk about it after the conference.” And really discuss it after the conference, without postponing the conversation for a long time.
7. “With all due respect”
This phrase, like “no offense, but” and “I probably shouldn’t have said that,” is rarely followed by something pleasant or even neutral.
Sometimes we have to tell others not at all what they would like to hear, but it is better to get straight to the point – the interlocutors will appreciate your honesty and directness.
8. “Let’s wrap up”
To say so is to let the other know that you are not interested in what he says, and he himself is not worth your time. It is better to replace this expression with: “Good point. Let’s get back to the discussion tomorrow afternoon” or “Good question, but unfortunately I don’t know the answer. I will try to find out everything and return with an answer before the end of the day.
9. “I directly knew (a) that it would be so”
You should not remind others that you are smarter and more insightful than them (even if this is actually the case), and even more so that they would be better off if they listened to your advice. This phrase should be excluded from the lexicon, as well as “I told you (a)!”.
10. “Everything will be fine”
“Chin up! Everything will work out!”, “Everything happens for a reason, everything has a reason” – no one knows this for sure, and anyway, such phrases often pop up on our machine. Therefore, try to control yourself. Instead of suggesting that others look for the positive in everything, make it clear that you are ready to listen and console.