10 phrases that make children notorious adults

Little children are spontaneous creatures. They do not think about the rules of decency, they say what they think. They are not afraid to show sympathy, support, encourage. They do not take into account the opinion of the public; for them, neither the financial situation of a person, nor the level of his intellectual development matters.

And most importantly, they believe in themselves, they have no complexes. Where, then, does a large number of notorious, insecure adults appear in the world? The answer is simple. It’s all about upbringing, it’s the fault of the parents.

Of course, dad and mom do not want their child to have problems with his own “I” in the future or experience difficulties in communicating with other people. They try to give their child the best, to raise him as a worthy person, but no one is immune from mistakes.

A random word or phrase can sink into a child’s soul, he will remember them for the rest of his life. Below is a rating of phrases that make a notorious adult out of a child.

10 If you misbehave, I’ll give you…

This phrase is the last argument that parents use to calm their child. So they say when the child does not obey, is naughty, firmly stands his ground. No one thinks that these words cause irreparable harm to the unstable child’s psyche.

The child begins to think that his parents need him only when he behaves well. Otherwise, he will be easily given to his uncle, aunt, policeman. In the future, he may have problems in relations with close (and not only) people.

He will do everything that is asked of him, if only he is not “given away”, not abandoned, not fired. Do you want your child to please everyone around? If not, forget these words.

9. You are just like a father (mother)

This phrase is often used by parents who are unhappy with their family relationships. “You are as lazy as your mother!” says the father. “You are as stubborn as your father!” laments the mother. It is difficult for a child in this situation, he must choose which side to take.

His self-esteem also suffers, he may think that he took only bad things from both mom and dad. In addition, with such phrases you undermine the authority of the husband (wife). In the future, the child may have problems in relationships with the opposite sex.

8. Go away, I don’t want to see or hear you

Such a phrase can often be heard in moments of despair, when the child does not obey, for the hundredth time has made a mess or ruined an expensive thing. Mom in the hearts says these words to him, not thinking about the effect they have on the child.

What does he hear? “You ruined my whole life! I would be happy if it wasn’t for you!” Since childhood, he has been tormented by guilt before his parents, he constantly thinks that without him they would be better off.

In the future, when the child grows up, this feeling of guilt will not go anywhere. Only specialists can help, but they usually do not turn to psychologists for help in such cases. People do not seek to change anything, they simply transfer children’s attitudes into adulthood.

7. You can get me at home!

A naughty child knows that his parents will punish him for bad behavior, but only at home. With this phrase, they emphasize their superiority. They seem to say: “There are a lot of people here, so I won’t yell at you, but at home you will get the full. I will scold you with the last words, and maybe even hit you.

If parents behave in this way, in the future the child will have problems in relations with superiors. He will never be able to calmly communicate with management. What kind of successful career can we talk about in this case? Such employees do not have their own opinion, they always want to please their superiors so that they are not “punished”.

6. And I’m your age…

The most common phrase. Instead of teaching the child to support him, parents try to compete with him. Of course, because they had started to help their father and mother earlier, they studied for one five, read a lot and knew English perfectly. The list can be continued for a long time, but the meaning is clear.

The child begins to think that he is worse than his parents. He sets goals for himself, achieves them, but not for himself, but for his parents. This is not to say that this is bad, a person will achieve certain heights in life. This is not to say that this is good, because often such children “go out of their way” all their lives to prove that they are worthy of their parents.

5. If you eat badly, you will become weak and stupid

Children, unlike adults, only eat when they are hungry. Adults eat because it is time for breakfast, lunch, dinner; bad mood or bored; a colleague called for tea. Okay, let adults eat when they please, but why would they impose this pattern on their children?

The child constantly hears that if he eats badly, he will not grow up, he will become stupid, ugly. Never use this phrase. Children should not be forced to eat. Otherwise, your child will have trouble eating. Overweight, the cult of food, eating disorders – these are the most common of them.

4. If you misbehave like that, I won’t love you

Another phrase that makes a child a weak-willed adult. He understands that love must be earned. No one loves anyone just like that, parents are no exception. Yes, of course, your child can become an example for others, because he will do everything to deserve your love.

In the future, he will definitely have problems in relations with the opposite sex. Your son or daughter will try to please his chosen one in everything, even if he has to step over himself. Such a person can be manipulated not only by his partner, but also by relatives and friends.

3. You are my bunny, teddy bear, sun

It seems that there is nothing wrong with calling your beloved son or daughter an affectionate nickname. But soon the child will begin to identify himself with what you call him. Children unconditionally trust their parents.

So think before you say something. Especially be careful in a fit of anger. Affectionate nicknames are not forbidden, but do not overdo it. Call your child by their first name in public. Remember that the name is its presentation to the world.

2. You see what a good fellow Lena is, and what are you doing?

To encourage a child to act, to make him study well or help around the house, parents compare him with other children. However, this method often does not work. The child, instead of preparing for the lesson, will think about how to take revenge on Lena.

Soon he will get used to comparing himself with others. When he becomes an adult, this habit will ruin his life. He will grow up to be an envious person with low self-esteem. Do not spoil the life of your child, because you probably know from your own experience what it is like to constantly compare yourself with the people around you.

1. Don’t disgrace me

This phrase is detrimental to the child’s psyche. Parents openly admit that they are ashamed of their own child. In response, he will try to hide, close. This is how it will be in adulthood.

Children who have often been told this phrase have a hard time getting along with people, they believe that they cannot offer them anything worthy.

This applies to both professional and personal life. Even his own parents are ashamed of him, to say nothing of the rest. If you want your child to grow up to be a confident person, never say this phrase to him.