Confidence, independence, inner stability, self-respect… The list of virtues possessed by psychologically strong people can be continued for a long time. Perhaps the most valuable thing is inner harmony? Psychotherapist Amy Morin believes that we can become stronger if we avoid some mistakes.
Strength of mind and inner harmony go hand in hand. Such people are sure that they will be able to cope with all the trials. This does not mean that they do not experience heartache, worry and sadness, but they do not waste time complaining about failures or trying to change other people. They control what they can control: their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. They give priority to working on themselves, knowing that there is no limit to perfection. What mistakes do they not make?
1. Don’t associate with toxic people. The people you surround yourself with influence your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Maintaining relationships with those who lie, slander, offend, let down is more expensive for yourself. This will negatively affect mental well-being. Strong people don’t waste energy trying to change toxic people. They set healthy physical and emotional boundaries.
2. Do not engage in excessive self-criticism. Thinking that all the failures in life are 100 percent your fault, whether it’s a relationship, a theft, or an incident on the subway, means dooming yourself to endless self-blame. You cannot prevent all troubles. Spiritually strong people take responsibility for their lives and the lives of their loved ones, but within reasonable limits. They are responsible for their choices, but they also recognize that there are factors beyond their control—the economic situation, the weather, other people’s choices, and more.
3. Don’t chase after happiness. To believe that one should strive to be happy every moment of one’s life is a dangerous illusion. Momentary pleasure and stable life satisfaction are two different things. Mentally strong people are willing to work hard for their own good. They do not indulge in those weaknesses that go against their long-term goals.
4. Not afraid of discomfort. It seems to many that the secret of good psychological well-being is to always be in the comfort zone. But avoiding discomfort can backfire on you. Mentally strong people dare to face their fears, explore new areas, test their limits. They consciously step out of their comfort zone, knowing that this is the only way to make their lives better.
5. Don’t feel like a victim. If you blame all problems on external circumstances, you will never be able to take responsibility for your life. Mentally strong people are responsible for their choices, even in tragic circumstances. They concentrate on the things they can control and don’t complain about people and circumstances.
6. Not concerned about the impression they make. You can spend a lot of time and effort trying to please other people. Dependence on other people’s assessments will play against you. Mentally strong people are comfortable being who they are. They don’t care if they get approved or not. It is much more important for them to live in accordance with their own values.
7. Don’t suffer from perfectionism. The desire for high achievements is a healthy quality, but demanding perfection from yourself means fighting an unequal battle. You will never feel at your best if you set the bar too high. These people accept their failures and mistakes and recognize their shortcomings and weaknesses.
8. Do not accumulate resentment. Perhaps you think that harboring a grudge is some way to punish the culprit. But in fact, anger and hatred only narrow the field of your life. Spiritually strong people do not cling to their grievances, preferring to direct energy in a constructive direction. This does not mean that they allow themselves to be insulted or humiliated, they do not allow hidden discontent or irritation to rule their lives.
9. Not fixated on material values. No matter how much you earn, but the desire to have an even bigger house, an even cooler car, even more luxurious clothes deprives you of rest. If you think that buying things will satisfy all your needs, you are in for a serious disappointment. Mentally strong people are not ascetics and may well enjoy good things. But they do not believe that the possession of material values provides joy and satisfaction with life.
10. Do not consider themselves absolutely self-sufficient. If you always and in everything rely only on yourself, then you may seem cool to yourself, but this does not mean that you are strong. Sooner or later, a situation will arise when you have to ask for help. Mentally strong people are not afraid to admit that they may need help. Whether they rely on a higher power, on the help of professional colleagues or on friends, in any case, they increase their effectiveness. Understanding that they cannot and should not have all the answers only strengthens their peace of mind.